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第1章

INTRODUCTION

FOR SAGE

I used to imagine that highly successful people were practically born that way—that they either had a meteoric rise to the top or, at the very least, enjoyed a smooth, steady climb along some primrose path. Although I grew to realize that this is not true, I was still continually taken aback by the singular stories the subjects of this book told me—the obstacles they overcame, the setbacks they endured, and the defining moments (sometimes even in childhood) that infused them with the tenacity and strength they needed to prevail.

I thought about how this book would help everyone from students just starting to contemplate their futures to those well into a successful career—and especially my daughter, Sage. I couldn't wait to incorporate the lessons my subjects imparted into my parenting, and hoped that one day Sage would be happy to have this compendium of wisdom at her fingertips—a series of unguarded, intimate pep talks from some of the world's most influential and inspirational figures.

It wasn't until I was halfway through the project, however, that I understood what was truly motivating me. They say that people teach what they need to learn. While I am genuinely excited to inspire my daughter and others, I believe I was drawn to create this book because I desired guidance and inspiration from these luminaries.

My own career trajectory began with a plan to follow an explicit, linear path that culminated at a distinct destination—but as I entered my early twenties, the path became quite circuitous.

Like most parents, mine wanted my three brothers and me to grow up to be successful. And in our household, success was pretty much defined by two things: wealth and being your own boss. Since a career was viewed as a means to financial autonomy, we were discouraged from pursuing things we enjoyed but that were unlikely to lead to a large income. Instead, we were urged to go to law school (it's good training for anything), then immediately, embark upon a financially motivated entrepreneurial venture. I reasoned that, while it was certainly quite specific, this wasn't a bad plan. After all, who wouldn't want to be rich and independent?

During law school, I contemplated different ways to make my fortune but nothing either drew me in or seemed like the right fit. As graduation neared, I became increasingly anxious about what I would do afterward. I started to wonder if I was going about planning my future the right way, and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how others had discovered their callings and forged their paths.

A real turning point occurred when, shortly after taking the bar exam, I read a commencement address given by the cartoonist Cathy Guisewite at my alma mater, the University of Michigan. Cathy spoke about the moment she realized she wanted to write for a living and suggested that, when deciding what to do with the rest of their lives, the graduates remember what they love: "Take the classes, the friends, and the family that have inspired the most in you. Save them in your permanent memory and make a backup disk. When you remember what you love, you will remember who you are. If you remember who you are, you can do anything."

Cathy's words resonated with me. Following her advice, I thought back over my four years at Michigan. I had been most energized by the photography course I took the last semester of my senior year. Drawn immediately to portraiture, I found joy in connecting with different types of people and would spend hours in the darkroom studying and developing prints. I decided to pursue this interest and enrolled in a one-year program at the International Center of Photography (ICP). Soon after that, I hatched the idea for my first book, New York Characters.

The theory behind New York Characters is that what makes New York such an amazing city is its people. Among the millions of New Yorkers, there are some who become famous in their own subcultures and give the Big Apple its flavor. I began photographing and interviewing them. My subjects included neighborhood fixtures, prominent celebrities, and the truly eccentric.

Working on New York Characters was a dream come true. Every day felt like an adventure as I discovered different pockets of my city and got to know a broad cross section of its population. However, getting a book published when I had no track record as a photographer or writer didn't prove to be an easy task.

Beginning with the traditional route, I put together a book proposal and shopped around for an agent. No one wanted to represent me. When I approached teachers at ICP for advice, they told me that I should start by interning for an established photographer, then work on my own résumé, then try to get a book published. Ignoring this advice, I decided to take the bull by the horns and represent myself. I parked myself in a bookstore, combed through the photography and New York sections, and made a list of the publishers that might be interested in a book like mine. I even read the acknowledgment sections of certain books so I knew the specific person to target at each company. To make a long story short, the first publisher I contacted, W. W. Norton & Company, loved my work and ended up publishing New York Characters.

But even with a contract from a well-known publisher, I had a difficult time getting subjects to participate in my book. My rule became that until I received a definite no from a subject I would continue to politely contact him or her until my deadline arrived. (Who am I kidding? Even when I did get a definite no, I wasn't deterred. I would wait a bit then look for another angle from which to approach.) I called Spike Lee's office at least thirty times, befriended one of his assistants over the phone, and had him go to bat for me. If I hadn't been so passionate about New York Characters, I wouldn't have had the resolve to jump the many hurdles I encountered en route to completing it.

I ended up getting married before the book hit the shelves, gave birth to Sage, then devoted myself to raising her. I will never look back on Sage's childhood and think I didn't savor it while it was happening, and I am very proud of my accomplishments as a parent—but as Sage grew older, I had more free time on my hands and realized that my own life did not end at motherhood.

What would my next act be? I racked my brain and considered everything from other book ideas to starting an educational-video company geared toward toddlers. But nothing seemed to grab me the way that New York Characters did … until I thought of Getting There.

I realize now that I was so eager to produce this book and explore the paths people took to the top of their respective fields because, while I had certainly come a long way on my own winding path, I was still in need of mentors. Fortunately, I found them in spades.

My subjects demonstrated that success comes in a potpourri of flavors, that it can be achieved by a variety of different personality types, and that there are many roads to get there. They taught me that careers can have several chapters and that you don't need to know exactly where you want to end up when you start—in fact, most of the people in this book didn't. They took a first step, kept their eyes open for new opportunities, worked very hard (often for others, at least to start), and learned as they forged ahead.

Leslie Moonves, the President and CEO of CBS, originally pursued acting

Jim Koch credits his three-year stint as an outdoor-survival instructor for giving him the valuable tools and insights needed to create the Boston Beer Company

Fitness guru Jillian Michaels only dedicated herself to that field after being fired as a talent agent

craigslist founder Craig Newmark stumbled upon his businesses while trying to pursue a social goal

The most consistent refrain, stressed by almost everyone, is what Cathy mentioned and what my experience with New York Characters confirmed: You must do something that you are passionate about—and something that is "within your circle of competence," as Warren Buffett puts it. The road to get there is almost guaranteed to be arduous, but if you love what you do, you'll thrive on the inevitable challenges and have the stamina to achieve your potential.

Author Jeff Kinney spent eight years writing his first Diary of a Wimpy Kid book

John Paul DeJoria was fired from three jobs and lived in his car on two dollars and fifty cents a day before founding John Paul Mitchell Systems and, later, Patrón Spirits Company

It took Jeff Koons nine years after graduating art school to make enough money from his art to give up having a second job

After establishing his own architectural practice, Frank Gehry found himself on the verge of bankruptcy several times before reaching solid ground

Many of my subjects also emphasize the importance of not allowing rejection or the fear of failure to deter you. They believe that if you don't take risks you will never get anywhere, and they view falling down as just part of the process. As super-model-turned-entrepreneurial-mogul Kathy Ireland succinctly puts it, "If you never fail, it means you are not trying hard enough." It's not surprising that several of my subjects credit jobs in sales (often door-to-door) for hammering these points home—so convincingly, in fact, that I would love for my daughter to have this experience someday.

Not only do my subjects share indispensable and practical career advice that is applicable to a wide range of fields—

Michael Bloomberg gives tips on circumventing life's gatekeepers

Anderson Cooper describes why sometimes you have to do something drastic to change the way others perceive you

Spanx inventor Sara Blakely details why it's smart to keep a young entrepreneurial idea secret, even from friends and family

Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner reveals how to process rejection

Leading scientist J. Craig Venter demonstrates that just because most people do things a certain way, doesn't mean it's the best way

—but they also bestow loads of wisdom on a much grander scale.

Warren Buffett explains the vast benefits of being a good communicator—and why the people you choose to surround yourself with, even as friends, affect your own behavior and destiny

Leading trial lawyer David Boies discloses why it's often smart to listen as much as you can before speaking

Hollywood film executive Stacey Snider explains how you can have it all by prioritizing different stages of your life

Nitin Nohria, dean of Harvard Business School, spells out why one should go through life being generous and not keeping score

After completing this book and hearing so many people I admire describe their own trajectories in an honest, human, and identifiable way, I feel confident saying that no one sails through life without encountering some rough waters. No matter who you are, how far you've come on your own personal journey, or what you have achieved in your career, you can always benefit from a great role model. It's never too late to be inspired by these stories. It's never too late to improve. It's never too late to try something new. It's never too late to discover something about yourself.

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