1.3 HOMEROOM
"Oh man," said Biggs. "Good-bye, Robot Integration Program. I told you anything with the initials RIP was doomed. Rest in Peace, RIP!"
Yes, thought Max, he did tell us that … about fifty times.
"Those technicians looked pretty mad," said Simeon.
"Yeah," said Krysti, "they came running up, 'Don't touch it! Don't touch it!' Did they think you were going to give it mouth-to-mouth or something?"
"Yeah," repeated Biggs, way too loud—as usual. "And then Max goes—"
Luckily, Max didn't have to hear anymore, because a tone sounded over the loudspeakers, their desks lit up, and their science and homeroom teacher, Ms. French, said: "Now, I know there was a lot of excitement in the hall this morning. But we can't let it get us off track. This week's UpGrade testing is just around the corner, whether there's a robot in school or not. I suggest you use your homeroom time to review."
Ugh, thought Max. Reviewing for an UpGrade test was about the last thing she wanted to do. But sometimes it felt like it was the only thing she ever did. The tests were in every class, every week. And you had better make sure your UpGrade level never went down!
Everything at this school was focused on UpGrading. It was all part of a new Federal School Board program called Constant UpGrade. (Although the students had their own names for it.)
The Constant UpGrade program was supposed to be a "revolution in education" with "cutting-edge technology" like Barbara. But it had turned out to mostly be a giant pain in the butt. The cutting-edge technology was always yelling at you, and with the constant testing, none of the classes were any fun.
Since teachers got their own #CUG scores, all they seemed to care about was preparing for the next test.
And making it all even worse, parents received constant updates on everything from their child's test scores to dTags. Bomb a test or do something dumb and Barbara would be sure your parents heard about it in real time.
Vanguard did have a human principal, Mr. Dorgas, but everyone said—whispered, actually—that Barbara was really in charge. And they were right. She wasn't just running the school. She WAS the school.
Everything—every door, every camera, every screen, every sensor—was connected into the central computer running the Barbara software. All the janitor and lunchroom robots were under her control, plus dozens of others the students never saw, such as qScreen repair-bots, heating duct cleaners, and dumpsterdroids, all rolling around on wheels or treads and mostly consisting of metallic appendages designed for their specific functions.
The goal of #CUG was a perfect school—higher test scores, fewer discipline problems, and cheaper to run.
Every part of the school must be Constantly UpGrading—the students, the teachers, the "learning materials," the robots, the flow of traffic in the halls, attendance, physical education achievements, proper hand-washing in the restrooms.
Barbara gave everything a #CUG score, and that #CUG score needed to keep going up. Anything other than a constant upgrade in your Constant UpGrade score meant trouble.
Every student's #CUG score was recalculated in real time. Attendance, discipline, and citizenship points were added or subtracted instantly. Homework was graded by computer, and students' #CUG scores were adjusted within the first minute of class.
And once a week came those Live UpGrade Assessments. They were really just multiple-choice tests, but they had a big and immediate impact on every student's #CUG score … and on the teachers' scores, too.
And it was working! Vanguard was exceeding all of its Constant UpGrade goals. Academic test scores were way up—actually, the highest of any school in Florida—and discipline problems were way down. In fact, almost nonexistent.
Although Vanguard still had human teachers and a human principal, the Barbara system kept finding ways to replace more and more of the school's staff, saving even more taxpayer dollars.
Already there were plans to open up other Constant UpGrade schools with their own Barbara systems across the country.
Because the students under the Constant UpGrade system really were being constantly upgraded … according to Barbara's data.
