登陆注册
4913200000028

第28章

She sank into a chair before which she had been standing, and she looked as if she were going to swoon.

He started towards her with an alarmed "Miss Shirley.

She put out a hand weakly to stay him. "Don't!" she entreated.

"I'm a little--I shall be all right in a moment."

"Can't I get you something--call some one?"

"Not for the world!" she commanded, and she pulled herself together and stood up. "But I think I'll stop for to-night. I'm glad my idea strikes you favorably. It's merely-- Oh, you found it, Mrs. Stager!" She broke off to address the woman who had now come back and was holding up the trailing breadths of the electric-blue gauze. "Isn't it lovely?"

She gave herself time to adore the drapery, with its changes of meteoric lucence, before she rose and took it. She went with it to the background in the library, where, against the glass door of the cases, she involved herself in it and stood shimmering. A thrill pierced to Verrian's heart; she was indeed wraithlike, so that he hated to have her call, "How will that do ?"

Mrs. Stager modestly referred the question to him by her silence.

"I will answer for its doing, if it does for the others as it's done for me."

She laughed. "And you doubly knew what it was. Yes, I think it will go." She took another pose, and then another. "What do you think of it, Mrs. Stager?" she called to the woman standing respectfully abeyant at one side.

"It's awful. I don't know but I'll be afraid to go to my room."

"Sit down, and I'll go to your room with you when I'm through. I won't be long, now."

She tried different gauzes, which she had lying on one of the chairs, and crowned herself with triumph in the applauses of her two spectators, rejoicing with a glee that Verrian found childlike and winning.

"If they're all like you, it will be the greatest success!"

"They'll all be like me, and more," he said, "I'm really very severe."

"Are you a severe person?" she asked, coming forward to him. "Ought people to be afraid of you?"

"Yes, people with bad consciences. I'm rattier afraid of myself for that reason."

"Have you got a bad conscience?" she asked, letting her eyes rest on his.

"Yes. I can't make my conduct square with my ideal of conduct."

"I know what that is!" she sighed. "Do you expect to be punished for it?"

"I expect to be got even with."

"Yes, one is. I've noticed that myself. But I didn't suppose that actors-- Oh, I forgot! I beg your pardon again, Mr. Verrian. Oh--Goodnight!" She faced him evanescently in going out, with the woman after her, but, whether she did so more in fear or more in defiance, she left him standing motionless in his doubt, and she did nothing to solve his doubt when she came quickly back alone, before he was aware of having moved, to say, "Mr. Verrian, I want to--I have to--tell you that--I didn't think you were the actor." Then she was finally gone, and Verrian had nothing for it but to go up to his room with the book he found he had in his hand and must have had there all the time.

If he had read it, the book would not have eased him off to sleep, but he did not even try, to read it. He had no wish to sleep. The waking dream in which he lost himself was more interesting than any vision of slumber could have been, and he had no desire to end it. In that he could still be talking with the girl whose mystery appealed to him so pleasingly.

It was none the less pleasing because, at what might be called her first blushes, she did not strike him as altogether ingenuous, but only able to discipline herself into a final sincerity from a consciousness which had been taught wisdom by experience.

She was still a scarcely recovered invalid, and it was pathetic that she should be commencing the struggle of life with strength so little proportioned to the demand upon it; and the calling she had taken up was of a fantasticality in some aspects which was equally pathetic. But all the undertakings of women, he mused, were piteous, not only because women were unequal to the struggle at the best, but because they were hampered always with themselves, with their sex, their femininity, and the necessity of getting it out of the way before they could really begin to fight. Whatever they attempted it must be in relation to the man's world in which livings were made; but the immemorial conditions were almost wholly unchanged. A woman approached this world as a woman, with the inborn instinct of tempting it as a woman, to win it to love her and make her a wife and mother; and although she might stoically overcome the temptation at last, it might recur at any moment and overcome her. This was perpetually weakening and imperilling her, and she must feel it at the encounter with each man she met. She must feel the tacit and even unconscious irony of his attitude towards her in her enterprise, and the finer her make the crueller and the more humiliating and disheartening this must be.

Of course, this Miss Shirley felt Verrian's irony, which he had guarded from any expression with genuine compassion for her. She must feel that to his knowledge of life she and her experiment had an absurdity which would not pass, whatever their success might be. If she meant business, and business only, they ought to have met as two men would have met, but he knew that they had not done so, and she must have known it. All that was plain sailing enough, but beyond this lay a sea of conjecture in which he found himself without helm or compass. Why, should she have acted a fib about his being an actor, and why, after the end, should she have added an end, in which she returned to own that she had been fibbing? For that was what it came to; and though Verrian tasted a delicious pleasure in the womanish feat by which she overcame her womanishness, he could not puzzle out her motive. He was not sure that he wished to puzzle it out. To remain with illimitable guesses at his choice was more agreeable, for the present at least, and he was not aware of having lapsed from them when he woke so late as to be one of the breakfasters whose plates were kept for them after the others were gone.

同类推荐
  • The Task and Other Poems

    The Task and Other Poems

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 兴善南明广禅师语录

    兴善南明广禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 叶衣观自在菩萨经

    叶衣观自在菩萨经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 祖庭钳锤录

    祖庭钳锤录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 嘉义管内采访册

    嘉义管内采访册

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 第四宙纪

    第四宙纪

    “来吧,虚空神王机甲!”洛辉看着这头浮现的粉红色熊陷入了沉思……“想你妹啊!动手啊!”卡某人面对来自神的狂轰滥炸,大声怒吼。“我一个从新手村出来的家伙,你叫我怼神?”洛辉哭丧着的脸突然展颜一笑:“去吧!老大!”卡某人看着那个瞬间消失在原地的身影,陷入了沉思……“当初不应该教他这个法术的!”
  • 当美拯救我们:星期二的哲学课

    当美拯救我们:星期二的哲学课

    美如何帮助我们更好地生活?浓缩康德、黑格尔、尼采、佛洛伊德等众多哲学家思想精华。本书缘起于作者主持的“周二哲学研讨会”。在四年时间里,通过围绕“美与决定,美的决定”这一问题的讨论,作者对这一问题进行了全面的思考。选择提拉米苏,是否就意味着放弃了减肥?一个老实人为什么会喜欢黑帮片?一幅举世闻名、众人称赞的油画又为何无法触动我?我们有太多需要选择的时刻,那些非此即彼的选项,每次都在拷问内心,让我们恐惧未来,怀疑自己,在现实面前不知所措。这一次,放下对自己的怀疑,让美的愉悦指引我们直面自己平常害怕的东西,直面神秘,直面自我的黑暗面。
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • 不懂财务就当不好商品流通企业经理

    不懂财务就当不好商品流通企业经理

    不论何种行业,优秀的经理人必定是一位财务高手!教你轻松驾御酒 店餐饮企业必备的财务方法与技巧通过本书的阅读,你将学到:全面掌握 三大财务报表,读懂财务报告;非财务人员与财务部门在统一的平台上达 成有效沟通;建立起清晰的成本控制意识与内部控制方法;强化财务管理 意识,提高企业运作效率;学会使用预算等财务工具加强内部管理;运用 财务思维视角运作企业,找到提升运营绩效的方法。
  • 血色炼魂

    血色炼魂

    皎月当空,寂静笼罩着整个大地,再看看世间千千万万条大路,似乎每条路都充斥着心酸,也都有坎坷,炼魂之途也一样,并且还有血泪相伴,既然选择炼魂之途,除了坚强的走下去,你将再别无选择,接下来让我们随从主人公的脚步,一起踏上炼魂之途,闯荡炼魂大陆吧!
  • 病娇重生守则

    病娇重生守则

    程洛宁醒来的时候,那些痛苦的生活都离她远去了。她重生到了高三,和那个男人相遇的年纪。这一次,她要和渣男再见saygoodbye!
  • 贵公子的小小新娘

    贵公子的小小新娘

    玫瑰庄园系列:第一部:贵公子的小小新娘她是名门集团的四千金,他是席氏集团的贵公子。他们门当户对,他们情投意合。相爱数十年许。却因种种私欲,而分离。“我恨你,恨你一辈子!”十年之后,他成了一个冷漠于心的男子。在他的字典里,再也没有柔情两字。只因为,他恨她!“我不再是躲在他人臂膀里,倍受保护的雏鸟。现在的我,会张开臂膀保护自己的儿子。”她不再是被受呵护的陶瓷娃娃了。十年之后,她不再是单纯的小女孩了。她学会了看穿别人终日走在这喧嚣的城市里,所带的每一张面具。只是善良如她,永远不懂下狠手。再一次相遇,她与他,还有机会吗?第二部:独宠火爆甜心“滚,我不想看见你!”新婚初夜,他堂堂台湾第一大商业巨子,蓝氏集团的总裁,居然被他的火爆小娘子踢下床。真是她以为他的世界非她莫属吗?“TOM,原谅我。”这天她结婚了。可惜新郎不是她心爱的男子。只因为腹中小小的生命。她嫁了。嫁了一个她不爱的男子。一场不幸的婚姻,一个留恋于花海之间的贵公子,遇上了一个如同活火山一般爆裂的富家千金。这场豪门的婚宴,是福还是祸?转眼之间,只在那么一瞬间。是悲剧的开始吗?第三部:霸上柔情贵公子“席定睿,你敢吐出来,你就死定了!”一声娇喝,只见一个身姿轻佻的女子,冲进办公室,抓起一把叉子,就往总裁办公桌上飞去。“饶命啊!baby,我乖乖吃下去总可以了吧!”一脸无奈的席定睿,抓起餐盘上那盘可怕得发绿的蛋糕,愁眉苦脸的低下头。真搞不懂,她老妈做的蛋糕简直是人间极品,为什么传授到这丫头身上,就变成了药死人的毒药。“嗯哼。”此刻,正插着腰瞪着席言风的,正是已经长大成人的白悠悠。而正坐在她面前啃蛋糕温柔似水的男人就是她的哥哥,席定睿。只是他不再是从前一直宠溺她的大哥哥了。仿佛时间都变了。时间的流逝,总改变了一切。从前乖乖待在怀里的小婴儿,此刻悠悠已经是长得亭亭玉立,在名流千金里,随便挥挥手都能震倒一片男子的魔女。仿佛她不再需要他的守护了,曾经的骑士承诺。真能守护一生吗?这是薇的第二部小说,请大家多多指教。谢谢。亲们快投上你们宝贵的票票,还有奉上你们手上的收藏。O(∩_∩)O哈哈~小心薇薇每天晚上在你们梦里追杀你们要收藏哦!!O(∩_∩)O哈哈~喜欢的亲们,不要吝啬你们手上的票票和收藏哦!!薇的完结文:《玫瑰公主的锁恋》推荐好友的文:宝贝错上床------蓝雨擎天----
  • 反派爹地滚远点

    反派爹地滚远点

    安荞对八年前对她弃之如履,现在却整日围着她转圈,想再续前缘的男人表示无语。“抱歉,与我而言你太老!”她冷眼看着他说道。“我老?不好意思,老你也只能认了,你欠我的八年先还了再说!”安荞??????这还有天理吗?明明当年是他先说分手的!“债还了,再说理!”他一如既往的霸道强势!
  • 五魂

    五魂

    上古时期女娲圣人炼七彩神石与九天息壤炼石补天,女娲圣人最终以自己生命与七彩神泥补天成功拯救世人,留下两位坐下童子守护世界。接着补天之后的五块碎石(金木水火土五块五行灵石)散落人间,事过千万年之后人们早已经忘了女娲的预言。“天现异象生凶变,五灵现身护安宁……”随着千万年的时间过去,后人都已经渐渐淡忘那个传说,但是灵石已经悄悄出现,并且寻找到了它的主人。而黑暗势力也在暗潮涌动,黑暗势力在三界将掀起什么样的巨波狂澜?主角们又是从学生如何成长成救世主的?带着这一切疑问走进五魂一一为你阐述……
  • 魅力背后的心理秘密

    魅力背后的心理秘密

    《魅力背后的心理秘密》导读——为什么相貌普通的男性常比美男子在女性眼中更有魅力?为什么女性的魅力在于吸引力,而男性的魅力在于影响力?为什么微笑是增添女性魅力的超级“化妆品”?你的魅力是可以测试出来的,你知道怎样测试吗?提高魅力需要“身、心、灵”三位一体修炼,这意味着什么呢?让你遇见“魅力四射”的自己,开始阅读吧!