登陆注册
5356600000085

第85章

I know not whether Frances was really much altered since the time I first saw her; but, as I looked at her now, I felt that she was singularly changed for me; the sad eye, the pale cheek, the dejected and joyless countenance I remembered as her early attributes, were quite gone, and now I saw a face dressed in graces; smile, dimple, and rosy tint, rounded its contours and brightened its hues.I had been accustomed to nurse a flattering idea that my strong attachment to her proved some particular perspicacity in my nature; she was not handsome, she was not rich, she was not even accomplished, yet was she my life’s treasure; I must then be a man of peculiar discernment.To-night my eyes opened on the mistake I had made; I began to suspect that it was only my tastes which were unique, not my power of discovering and appreciating the superiority of moral worth over physical charms.For me Frances had physical charms: in her there was no deformity to get over; none of those prominent defects of eyes, teeth, complexion, shape, which hold at bay the admiration of the boldest male champions of intellect (for women can love a downright ugly man if he be but talented); had she been either “édentée, myope, rugueuse, ou bossue,” my feelings towards her might still have been kindly, but they could never have been impassioned; I had affection for the poor little misshapen Sylvie, but for her I could never have had love.It is true Frances’ mental points had been the first to interest me, and they still retained the strongest hold on my preference; but I liked the graces of her person too.I derived a pleasure, purely material, from contemplating the clearness of her brown eyes, the fairness of her fine skin, the purity of her well-set teeth, the proportion ofher delicate form; and that pleasure I could ill have dispensed with.It appeared, then, that I too was a sensualist, in my temperate and fastidious way.

Now, reader, during the last two pages I have been giving youhoney fresh from flowers, but you must not live entirely on food so luscious; taste then a little gall—just a drop, by way of change.

At a somewhat late hour I returned to my lodgings: havingtemporarily forgotten that man had any such coarse cares as those of eating and drinking, I went to bed fasting.I had been excited and in action all day, and had tasted no food since eight that morning; besides, for a fortnight past, I had known no rest either of body or mind; the last few hours had been a sweet delirium, it would not subside now, and till long after midnight, broke with troubled ecstasy the rest I so much needed.At last I dozed, but not for long; it was yet quite dark when I awoke, and my waking was like that of Job when a spirit passed before his face, and like him, “the hair of my flesh stood up.” I might continue the parallel, for in truth, though I saw nothing, yet “a thing was secretly brought unto me, and mine ear received a little thereof; there was silence, and I heard a voice,” saying —“In the midst of life we are in death.”

That sound, and the sensation of chill anguish accompanying it, many would have regarded as supernatural; but I recognized it at once as the effect of reaction.Man is ever clogged with his mortality, and it was my mortal nature which now faltered and plained; my nerves, which jarred and gave a false sound, because the soul, of late rushing headlong to an aim, had overstrained the body’s comparative weakness.A horror of great darkness fell upon me; I felt my chamber invaded by one I had known formerly, but had thought for ever departed.I was temporarily a prey tohypochondria.

She had been my acquaintance, nay, my guest, once before in boyhood; I had entertained her at bed and board for a year; for that space of time I had her to myself in secret; she lay with me, she ate with me, she walked out with me, showing me nooks in woods, hollows in hills, where we could sit together, and where she could drop her drear veil over me, and so hide sky and sun, grass and green tree; taking me entirely to her death-cold bosom, and holding me with arms of bone.What tales she would tell me at such hours! What songs she would recite in my ears! How she would discourse to me of her own country—the grave—and again and again promise to conduct me there ere long; and, drawing me to the very brink of a black, sullen river, show me, on the other side, shores unequal with mound, monument, and tablet, standing up in a glimmer more hoary than moonlight.“Necropolis!” she would whisper, pointing to the pale piles, and add, “It contains a mansion prepared for you.”

But my boyhood was lonely, parentless; uncheered by brother or sister; and there was no marvel that, just as I rose to youth, a sorceress, finding me lost in vague mental wanderings, with many affections and few objects, glowing aspirations and gloomy prospects, strong desires and slender hopes, should lift up her illusive lamp to me in the distance, and lure me to her vaulted home of horrors.No wonder her spells then had power; but now, when my course was widening, my prospect brightening; when my affections had found a rest; when my desires, folding wings, weary with long flight, had just alighted on the very lap of fruition, and nestled there warm, content, under the caress of a soft hand—why did hypochondria accost me now?

I repulsed her as one would a dreaded and ghastly concubine coming to embitter a husband’s heart toward his young bride; in vain; she kept her sway over me for that night and the next day, and eight succeeding days.Afterwards, my spirits began slowly to recover their tone; my appetite returned, and in a fortnight I was well.I had gone about as usual all the time, and had said nothing to anybody of what I felt; but I was glad when the evil spirit departed from me, and I could again seek Frances, and sit at her side, freed from the dreadful tyranny of my demon.

同类推荐
  • 大乘瑜伽金刚性海曼殊室利千臂千钵大教王经

    大乘瑜伽金刚性海曼殊室利千臂千钵大教王经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 清河内传

    清河内传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 台湾杂咏合刻

    台湾杂咏合刻

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • English Stories Germany

    English Stories Germany

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 岭海焚余

    岭海焚余

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 帝尊家的小甜妃

    帝尊家的小甜妃

    (正文和番外已完结,新书《狂妃傲苍穹:帝尊宠上天!》已发,甜宠1v1,请继续支持)她是21世纪杀手之王“雪尊”,被人设计,一朝重生,她成为她,身世成迷,父母失踪?当她初次遇到他时,被他的宠物吓到从树上摔落。她理直气壮的说“你的宠物吓到我了,这精神损失费怎么赔?”他用充满磁性的声音道“哦?要赔偿?要不我以身相许?”她嫌弃道“不要,你戴着面具肯定很丑!”“那么……这样呢?”说着摘下脸上的面具,露出那张令天地失色的绝色容颜。本书粉丝群374678851
  • 仰望城市天窗

    仰望城市天窗

    该文集题材主要关于自己毕业后边打工边旅行的生活,大中华地区除了台湾各省算是走了一遍,走过七十几座城市。作品内容主要是关于自己流浪过的城市的所见所闻。
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • 穿书之剧情快刹车!

    穿书之剧情快刹车!

    一觉醒来,天翻地覆!萧霁:我可是主角的亲‘儿子’啊!没得金手指吗?我是主角的小‘叔叔’啊?没得金手指吗?我给了主角一顿饭啊,没得金手指吗?我不是龙套啊!裴晗:……我在这儿,看我!ps.这是正剧哈!有点慢热哈!脑洞多大,世界就有多大!懒散温柔(雾)的女主vs在女主面前各种‘娇气’的男主‘裤裆藏雷’,入坑谨慎!(#^.^#)
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • 前汉纪

    前汉纪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • 恬妃传 第二册

    恬妃传 第二册

    帝王之爱,是一种距离,若能拿捏得当,你就是这后宫最成功的女人!即便从一个弱小的女子走向后宫的顶端得到帝王最真挚的爱。傅茜宇始终保持拥有一颗善良的心。茜宇生下皇子臻昕之后,赫臻因御驾亲征受伤,宣布退位,将皇位传给了大皇子臻杰,然后带领茜宇、璋瑢、德妃等人去燕城居住。成为皇贵太妃的茜宇仍然被人陷害,几度小产。为了保护茜宇不再受伤,赫臻故意冷落她,将她又送回了京城……赫臻与她的爱情能否天荒地老?茜宇年幼的儿子命运将会如何?陈璋瑢是否能坚守善良的本性?新任皇后悠儿如何在茜宇的辅佐下掌管后宫?臻杰的后宫里又将掀起怎样的波澜?
  • 不畏将来 不念过去2

    不畏将来 不念过去2

    畅销两百万册作者十二升华之作。时隔6年十二用全新观点,告诉你如何从容面对恋爱、婚姻和原生家庭里的那些困扰。43篇全新感悟,更通透,更洒脱!我们终此一生,不是为了取悦他人,而是为了活出真正的自己。愿所有女人不畏将来,不念过去。第一部分直接地劝导女性肯定自己的价值——女性在男女关系中,会遇到失恋,重心放在男性和家庭身上,加上父母的传统规训,经常否定自己。这一切只是因为迷失了自己的价值;第二部分针对男性以及在家庭生活中的相处,对家庭生活的本质和男女之间的性格区分进行分析,强调理性而克制的交往,不过分付出,不消耗自己;第三部分以个人成长出发,讲述女性怎样在生活中和年龄阅历共处,做更精致从容的女人,活出想要的模样。
  • 你有点天真

    你有点天真

    她是个坏女孩,也是个好女孩,以前她不懂爱,只想着行侠仗义,现在的她害怕爱,不想再带给别人伤害。而他的出现,就像一束光,那么耀眼又那么炙热,让她深陷其中。