"It is really the duty of myself and comrade here to do it," said Kent, shifting uneasily in his chair, to find a comfortable place to sit upon; "but as we have been for two days riding the hardest-backed horses over roads that were simply awful, and as previous to that time we had not taken any equestrian exercise for several years, there are some fundamental reasons--that is, reasons lying at the very base of things, (he shifted again)--why we should not be called upon to do another mile of horseback riding until Time has had an opportunity to exercise his soothing and healing influence, so to speak.Abe, I believe I have stated the case with my usual happy combination of grace and delicacy?""You have, as usual, flushed a tail-race of big words.""In short," Kent went on ("Ah, thank you.That is delicious.The best I ever drank.Your mountain stills make the finest apple jack in the world.There must be something in the water--that you don't put in.It's as smooth as new-made butter.Well, here's to the anner of Beauty and Glory.) In short, as I was saying when you hospitably interrupted me, we are willing to do anything for the cause, but unless there is some other way of riding, the most painful effort I could make for our beloved country would be to mount that horse again, and ride another hundred yards.To be messenger of this good news would be bliss; what prevents it is a blister."The crowd laughed boisterously.
"Mister," said one of the Kentuckians who accompanied them, with that peculiar drawling inflection of the word that it were hopeless to attempt to represent in print, "ef ye want ter send some one in yer places me an' Si heah will be powerful glad ter go.Jes'
git a note ter the Jineral at Wildcat ready while we saddle fresh beasts, an' we'll hev hit in his hands afore midnight."The proposition was immediately accepted, and in a little while the Kentuckians were speeding their way back to Gen.Schoepf, with a letter giving the news, and signed: "Kent Edwards, Chief of Scouts."That evening a party of young men who had followed the Rebel retreat some distance, brought in a wagon which had been concealed in an out-of-the-way place, and left there.It was loaded mainly with things taken from the houses, and was evidently the private collection of some freebooting subordinate, who did not intend that the Southern Confederacy should be enriched by the property.
Hence, probably, the hesitation about taking it along with the main train.It was handed over to Kent as the representative of the United States, who was alone authorized to take charge of it.
Assisted by Abe he started to make an inventory of the contents.
A portly jug of apple jack was kept at hand, that there might not be any suffering from undue thirst during the course of the operation, which, as Kent providently remarked, was liable to make a man as dry as an Arizona plain.
The danger of such aridity seemed to grow more imminent continually, judged by the frequency of their application to the jug.It soon became more urgent than the completion of the inventory.Frequent visits of loyal Kentuckians with other jugs and botles, to drink to the renewed supremacy of the Banner of Beauty and Glory, did not diminish Kent's and Abe's apprehensions of ultimate thirst.Their clay seemed like some other kinds, which have their absorptive powers strengthened by the more they take up.They belonged to a not-unusual class of men whom it takes about as long to get thoroughly drunk as it does to heat up an iron-furnace, but the condition that they achieve then makes the intoxication of other and ordinary men seem a very mild and tame exhilaration.
By noon the next day this process was nearing its completion.Amessenger galloped into town with the information that the Union forces were coming, and would arrive in the course of an hour or two.
"Shash so?" said Kent, straightening himself up with a crushing dignity that always formed a sure guage of the extent to which inebriation had progressed."Shash so? Troops 'she United States 'bout to enter shis lovely metropolis wish all pomp and shircumshtance 'reassherted 'thority.'Shtonishin' event; wonderful 'casion.
Never happened 'fore; probably never'll happen again.Ought to be 'propriately celebrated, Abe!"That gentleman made a strong effort to control joints which seemed unmanageable, and succeeded in assuming a tolerable erectness, while he blinked at his companion with stolid gravity.
"Abe, shis ish great 'casion.Greatest in she annalsh of she country.
