Mr.Hoole told him,he was born in Moorfields,and had received part of his early instruction in Grub-street.'Sir,(said Johnson,smiling,)you have been REGULARLY educated.'Having asked who was his instructor,and Mr.Hoole having answered,'My uncle,Sir,who was a taylor;'Johnson,recollecting himself,said,'Sir,I knew him;we called him the metaphysical taylor.He was of a club in Old-street,with me and George Psalmanazar,and some others:but pray,Sir,was he a good taylor?'Mr.Hoole having answered that he believed he was too mathematical,and used to draw squares and triangles on his shop-board,so that he did not excel in the cut of a coat;--'I am sorry for it (said Johnson,)for I would have every man to be master of his own business.'
In pleasant reference to himself and Mr.Hoole,as brother authours,he often said,'Let you and I,Sir,go together,and eat a beef-steak in Grub-street.'
He said to Sir William Scott,'The age is running mad after innovation;all the business of the world is to be done in a new way;men are to be hanged in a new way;Tyburn itself is not safe from the fury of innovation.'It having been argued that this was an improvement,--'No,Sir,(said he,eagerly,)it is NOT an improvement:they object that the old method drew together a number of spectators.Sir,executions are intended to draw spectators.
If they do not draw spectators they don't answer their purpose.
The old method was most satisfactory to all parties;the publick was gratified by a procession;the criminal was supported by it.
Why is all this to be swept away?'I perfectly agree with Dr.
Johnson upon this head,and am persuaded that executions now,the solemn procession being discontinued,have not nearly the effect which they formerly had.Magistrates both in London,and elsewhere,have,I am afraid,in this had too much regard to their own case.
Johnson's attention to precision and clearness in expression was very remarkable.He disapproved of parentheses;and I believe in all his voluminous writings,not half a dozen of them will be found.He never used the phrases the former and the latter,having observed,that they often occasioned obscurity;he therefore contrived to construct his sentences so as not to have occasion for them,and would even rather repeat the same words,in order to avoid them.Nothing is more common than to mistake surnames when we hear them carelessly uttered for the first time.To prevent this,he used not only to pronounce them slowly and distinctly,but to take the trouble of spelling them;a practice which I have often followed;and which I wish were general.
Such was the heat and irritability of his blood,that not only did he pare his nails to the quick;but scraped the joints of his fingers with a pen-knife,till they seemed quite red and raw.
The heterogeneous composition of human nature was remarkably exemplified in Johnson.His liberality in giving his money to persons in distress was extraordinary.Yet there lurked about him a propensity to paultry saving.One day I owned to him that 'I was occasionally troubled with a fit of NARROWNESS.''Why,Sir,(said he,)so am I.BUT I DO NOT TELL IT.'He has now and then borrowed a shilling of me;and when I asked for it again,seemed to be rather out of humour.A droll little circumstance once occurred:
as if he meant to reprimand my minute exactness as a creditor,he thus addressed me;--'Boswell,LEND me sixpence--NOT TO BE REPAID.'
This great man's attention to small things was very remarkable.As an instance of it,he one day said to me,'Sir,when you get silver in change for a guinea,look carefully at it;you may find some curious piece of coin.'
Though a stern TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN,and fully prejudiced against all other nations,he had discernment enough to see,and candour enough to censure,the cold reserve too common among Englishmen towards strangers:'Sir,(said he,)two men of any other nation who are shewn into a room together,at a house where they are both visitors,will immediately find some conversation.But two Englishmen will probably go each to a different window,and remain in obstinate silence.Sir,we as yet do not enough understand the common rights of humanity.'
Johnson,for sport perhaps,or from the spirit of contradiction,eagerly maintained that Derrick had merit as a writer.Mr.
Morgannargued with him directly,in vain.At length he had recourse to this device.'Pray,Sir,(said he,)whether do you reckon Derrick or Smart the best poet?'Johnson at once felt himself roused;and answered,'Sir,there is no settling the point of precedency between a louse and a flea.'
Author of the Essay on the Character of Falstaff.--ED.
He was pleased to say to me one morning when we were left alone in his study,'Boswell,I think I am easier with you than with almost any body.'
He would not allow Mr.David Hume any credit for his political principles,though similar to his own;saying of him,'Sir,he was a Tory by chance.'
His acute observation of human life made him remark,'Sir,there is nothing by which a man exasperates most people more,than by displaying a superiour ability or brilliancy in conversation.They seem pleased at the time;but their envy makes them curse him in their hearts.'
Johnson's love of little children,which he discovered upon all occasions,calling them 'pretty dears,'and giving them sweetmeats,was an undoubted proof of the real humanity and gentleness of his disposition.
His uncommon kindness to his servants,and serious concern,not only for their comfort in this world,but their happiness in the next,was another unquestionable evidence of what all,who were intimately acquainted with him,knew to be true.
