The doctors were against it;but he couldn't rest till he tried it.
He took her out,and explained it all to her.She scarcely seemed interested.
She read the names on the stone,and said it was a nice stone,and asked questions about how the children were found and brought here.
She seemed quite sensible,and very cool about it.But when he got her home she was back on the fairy idea again.He tried another day,but it was no use;so then he let it be.I think it's better as it is.
Now and again,at her best,she seems to understand that the children were found dead,and buried,and she'll talk sensibly about it,and ask questions in a quiet way,and make him promise to take her to Sydney to see the grave next time he's down.But it doesn't last long,and she's always worse afterwards.'
We turned into a bar and had a beer.It was a very quiet drink.
Andy `shouted'in his turn,and while I was drinking the second beer a thought struck me.
`The Boss was away when the children were lost?'
`Yes,'said Andy.
`Strange you couldn't find him.'
`Yes,it was strange;but HE'LL have to tell you about that.
Very likely he will;it's either all or nothing with him.'
`I feel damned sorry for the Boss,'I said.
`You'd be sorrier if you knew all,'said Andy.`It's the worst trouble that can happen to a man.It's like living with the dead.
It's --it's like a man living with his dead wife.'
When we went home supper was ready.We found Mrs Head,bright and cheerful,bustling round.You'd have thought her one of the happiest and brightest little women in Australia.Not a word about children or the fairies.
She knew the Bush,and asked me all about my trips.
She told some good Bush stories too.It was the pleasantest hour I'd spent for a long time.
`Good night,Mr Ellis,'she said brightly,shaking hands with me when Andy and I were going to turn in.`And don't forget your pipe.
Here it is!I know that Bushmen like to have a whiff or two when they turn in.Walter smokes in bed.I don't mind.
You can smoke all night if you like.'
`She seems all right,'I said to Andy when we were in our room.
He shook his head mournfully.We'd left the door ajar,and we could hear the Boss talking to her quietly.Then we heard her speak;she had a very clear voice.
`Yes,I'll tell you the truth,Walter.I've been deceiving you,Walter,all the time,but I did it for the best.Don't be angry with me,Walter!
The Voices did come back while you were away.Oh,how I longed for you to come back!They haven't come since you've been home,Walter.
You must stay with me a while now.Those awful Voices kept calling me,and telling me lies about the children,Walter!They told me to kill myself;they told me it was all my own fault --that I killed the children.
They said I was a drag on you,and they'd laugh --Ha!ha!ha!--like that.
They'd say,"Come on,Maggie;come on,Maggie."They told me to come to the river,Walter.'
Andy closed the door.His face was very miserable.
We turned in,and I can tell you I enjoyed a soft white bed after months and months of sleeping out at night,between watches,on the hard ground or the sand,or at best on a few boughs when I wasn't too tired to pull them down,and my saddle for a pillow.
But the story of the children haunted me for an hour or two.
I've never since quite made up my mind as to why the Boss took me home.
Probably he really did think it would do his wife good to talk to a stranger;perhaps he wanted me to understand --maybe he was weakening as he grew older,and craved for a new word or hand-grip of sympathy now and then.
When I did get to sleep I could have slept for three or four days,but Andy roused me out about four o'clock.The old woman that they called Auntie was up and had a good breakfast of eggs and bacon and coffee ready in the detached kitchen at the back.We moved about on tiptoe and had our breakfast quietly.
`The wife made me promise to wake her to see to our breakfast and say Good-bye to you;but I want her to sleep this morning,Jack,'said the Boss.`I'm going to walk down as far as the station with you.
She made up a parcel of fruit and sandwiches for you and Andy.
Don't forget it.'
Andy went on ahead.The Boss and I walked down the wide silent street,which was also the main road;and we walked two or three hundred yards without speaking.He didn't seem sociable this morning,or any way sentimental;when he did speak it was something about the cattle.
But I had to speak;I felt a swelling and rising up in my chest,and at last I made a swallow and blurted out --`Look here,Boss,old chap!I'm damned sorry!'
Our hands came together and gripped.The ghostly Australian daybreak was over the Bathurst plains.
We went on another hundred yards or so,and then the Boss said quietly --`I was away when the children were lost,Jack.I used to go on a howling spree every six or nine months.Maggie never knew.I'd tell her I had to go to Sydney on business,or Out-Back to look after some stock.
When the children were lost,and for nearly a fortnight after,I was beastly drunk in an out-of-the-way shanty in the Bush --a sly grog-shop.The old brute that kept it was too true to me.
He thought that the story of the lost children was a trick to get me home,and he swore that he hadn't seen me.He never told me.
I could have found those children,Jack.They were mostly new chums and fools about the run,and not one of the three policemen was a Bushman.
I knew those scrubs better than any man in the country.'
I reached for his hand again,and gave it a grip.That was all I could do for him.
`Good-bye,Jack!'he said at the door of the brake-van.`Good-bye,Andy!--keep those bullocks on their feet.'
The cattle-train went on towards the Blue Mountains.Andy and I sat silent for a while,watching the guard fry three eggs on a plate over a coal-stove in the centre of the van.
`Does the boss never go to Sydney?'I asked.
`Very seldom,'said Andy,`and then only when he has to,on business.
When he finishes his business with the stock agents,he takes a run out to Waverley Cemetery perhaps,and comes home by the next train.'
