`There are very few women's lives that are not tremulous,' Tess replied, pausing over the new word as if it impressed her.`There's more in those three than you think.'
`What is in them?'
`Almost either of 'em,' she began, `would make - perhaps would make - a properer wife than I.And perhaps they love you as well as I - almost.'
`O, Tessy!'
There were signs that it was an exquisite relief to her to hear the impatient exclamation, though she had resolved so intrepidly to let generosity make one bid against herself.That was now done, and she had not the power to attempt self-immolation a second time then.They were joined by a milker from one of the cottages, and no more was said on that which concerned them so deeply.But Tess knew that this day would decide it.
In the afternoon several of the dairyman's household and assistants went down to the meads as usual, a long way from the dairy, where many of the cows were milked without being driven home.The supply was getting less as the animals advanced in calf, and the supernumerary milkers of the lush green season had been dismissed.
The work progressed leisurely.Each pailful was poured into tall cans that stood in a large spring-waggon which had been brought upon the scene;and when they were milked the cows trailed away.
Dairyman Crick, who was there with the rest, his wrapper gleaming miraculously white against a leaden evening sky, suddenly looked at his heavy watch.
`Why, 'tis later than I thought,' he said.`Begad! We shan't be soon enough with this milk at the station, if we don't mind.There's no time to-day to take it home and mix it with the bulk afore sending off.It must go to station straight from here.Who'll drive it across?'
Mr Clare volunteered to do so, though it was none of his business, asking Tess to accompany him.The evening, though sunless, had been warm and muggy for the season, and Tess had come out with her milkinghood only, naked-armed and jacketless; certainly not dressed for a drive.She therefore replied by glancing over her scant habiliments; but Clare gently urged her.She assented by relinquishing her pall and stool to the dairyman to take home;and mounted the spring-waggon beside Clare.
Chapter 30 In the diminishing daylight they went along the level roadway through the meads, which stretched away into gray miles, and were backed in the extreme edge of distance by the swarthy and abrupt slopes of Egdon Heath.On its summit stood clumps and stretches of fir-trees, whose notched tips appeared like battlemented towers crowning black-fronted castles of enchantment.
They were so absorbed in the sense of being close to each other that they did not begin talking for a long while, the silence being broken only by the clucking of the milk in the tall cans behind them.The lane they followed was so solitary that the hazel nuts had remained on the boughs till they slipped from their shells, and the blackberries hung in heavy clusters.Every now and then Angel would fling the lash of his whip round one of these, pluck it off, and give it to his companion.
The dull sky soon began to tell its meaning by sending down herald-drops of rain, and the stagnant air of the day changed into a fitful breeze which played about their faces.The quicksilvery glaze on the rivers and pools vanished; from broad mirrors of light they changed to lustreless sheets of lead, with a surface like a rasp.But that spectacle did not affect her preoccupation.Her countenance, a natural carnation slightly embrowned by the season, had deepened its tinge with the beating of the rain-drops;and her hair, which the pressure of the cows' flanks had, as usual, caused to tumble down from its fastenings and stray beyond the curtain of her calico bonnet, was made clammy by the moisture, till it hardly was better than seaweed.
`I ought not to have come, I suppose,' she murmured, looking at the sky.
`I am sorry for the rain,' said he.`But how glad I am to have you here!'
Remote Egdon disappeared by degrees behind the liquid gauze.The evening grew darker, and the roads being crossed by gates it was not safe to drive faster than at a walking pace.The air was rather chill.
`I am so afraid you will get, cold, with nothing upon your arms and shoulders,' he said.`Creep close to me, and perhaps the drizzle won't hurt you much.I should be sorrier still if I did not think that the rain might be helping me.'
She imperceptibly crept closer, and he wrapped round them both a large piece of sail-cloth, which was sometimes used to keep the sun off the milk-cans.
Tess held it from slipping off him as well as herself, Clare's hands being occupied.
`Now we are all right again.Ah - no we are not! It runs down into my neck a little, and it must still more into yours.That's better.Your arms are like wet marble, Tess.Wipe them in the cloth.Now, if you stay quiet, you will not get another drop.Well, dear - about that question of mine - that long-standing question?'
The only reply that he could hear for a little while was the smack of the horse's hoofs on the moistening road, and the cluck of the milk in the cans behind them.
`Do you remember what you said?'
`I do,' she replied.
`Before we get home, mind.'
`I'll try.'
He said no more then.As they drove on the fragment of an old manor house of Caroline date rose against the sky, and was in due course passed and left behind.
`That,' he observed, to entertain her, is an interesting old place -one of the several seats which belonged to an ancient Norman family formerly of great influence in this county, the d'Urbervilles.I never pass one of their residences without thinking of them.There is something very sad in the extinction of a family of renown, even if it was fierce, domineering, feudal renown.'
`Yes,' said Tess.
