Up came the sun, steaming all over London, and in its glorious impartiality even condescending to make prismatic sparkles in the whiskers of Mr Alfred Lammle as he sat at breakfast. In need of some brightening from without, was Mr Alfred Lammle, for he had the air of being dull enough within, and looked grievously discontented.
Mrs Alfred Lammle faced her lord. The happy pair of swindlers, with the comfortable tie between them that each had swindled the other, sat moodily observant of the tablecloth. Things looked so gloomy in the breakfast-room, albeit on the sunny side of Sackville Street, that any of the family tradespeople glancing through the blinds might have taken the hint to send in his account and press for it. But this, indeed, most of the family tradespeople had already done, without the hint.
'It seems to me,' said Mrs Lammle, 'that you have had no money at all, ever since we have been married.'
'What seems to you,' said Mr Lammle, 'to have been the case, may possibly have been the case. It doesn't matter.'
Was it the speciality of Mr and Mrs Lammle, or does it ever obtain with other loving couples? In these matrimonial dialogues they never addressed each other, but always some invisible presence that appeared to take a station about midway between them.
Perhaps the skeleton in the cupboard comes out to be talked to, on such domestic occasions?
'I have never seen any money in the house,' said Mrs Lammle to the skeleton, 'except my own annuity. That I swear.'
'You needn't take the trouble of swearing,' said Mr Lammle to the skeleton; 'once more, it doesn't matter. You never turned your annuity to so good an account.'
'Good an account! In what way?' asked Mrs Lammle.
'In the way of getting credit, and living well,' said Mr Lammle.
Perhaps the skeleton laughed scornfully on being intrusted with this question and this answer; certainly Mrs Lammle did, and Mr Lammle did.
'And what is to happen next?' asked Mrs Lammle of the skeleton.
'Smash is to happen next,' said Mr Lammle to the same authority.
After this, Mrs Lammle looked disdainfully at the skeleton--but without carrying the look on to Mr Lammle--and drooped her eyes.
After that, Mr Lammle did exactly the same thing, and drooped HIS eyes. A servant then entering with toast, the skeleton retired into the closet, and shut itself up.
'Sophronia,' said Mr Lammle, when the servant had withdrawn.
And then, very much louder: 'Sophronia!'
'Well?'
'Attend to me, if you please.' He eyed her sternly until she did attend, and then went on. 'I want to take counsel with you. Come, come; no more trifling. You know our league and covenant. We are to work together for our joint interest, and you are as knowing a hand as I am. We shouldn't be together, if you were not. What's to be done? We are hemmed into a corner. What shall we do?'
'Have you no scheme on foot that will bring in anything?'
Mr Lammle plunged into his whiskers for reflection, and came out hopeless: 'No; as adventurers we are obliged to play rash games for chances of high winnings, and there has been a run of luck against us.'
She was resuming, 'Have you nothing--' when he stopped her.
'We, Sophronia. We, we, we.'
'Have we nothing to sell ?'
'Deuce a bit. I have given a Jew a bill of sale on this furniture, and he could take it to-morrow, to-day, now. He would have taken it before now, I believe, but for Fledgeby.'
'What has Fledgeby to do with him?'
'Knew him. Cautioned me against him before I got into his claws.
Couldn't persuade him then, in behalf of somebody else.'
'Do you mean that Fledgeby has at all softened him towards you?'
'Us, Sophronia. Us, us, us.'
'Towards us?'
'I mean that the Jew has not yet done what he might have done, and that Fledgeby takes the credit of having got him to hold his hand.'
'Do you believe Fledgeby?'
'Sophronia, I never believe anybody. I never have, my dear, since Ibelieved you. But it looks like it.'
Having given her this back-handed reminder of her mutinous observations to the skeleton, Mr Lammle rose from table--perhaps, the better to conceal a smile, and a white dint or two about his nose--and took a turn on the carpet and came to the hearthrug.
'If we could have packed the brute off with Georgiana;--but however; that's spilled milk.'
As Lammle, standing gathering up the skirts of his dressing-gown with his back to the fire, said this, looking down at his wife, she turned pale and looked down at the ground. With a sense of disloyalty upon her, and perhaps with a sense of personal danger--for she was afraid of him--even afraid of his hand and afraid of his foot, though he had never done her violence--she hastened to put herself right in his eyes.
'If we could borrow money, Alfred--'
'Beg money, borrow money, or steal money. It would be all one to us, Sophronia,' her husband struck in.
'--Then, we could weather this?'
'No doubt. To offer another original and undeniable remark, Sophronia, two and two make four.'
But, seeing that she was turning something in her mind, he gathered up the skirts of his dressing-gown again, and, tucking them under one arm, and collecting his ample whiskers in his other hand, kept his eye upon her, silently.
'It is natural, Alfred,' she said, looking up with some timidity into his face, 'to think in such an emergency of the richest people we know, and the simplest.'
'Just so, Sophronia.'
'The Boffins.'
'Just so, Sophronia.'
'Is there nothing to be done with them?'
'What is there to be done with them, Sophronia?'
She cast about in her thoughts again, and he kept his eye upon her as before.
'Of course I have repeatedly thought of the Boffins, Sophronia,' he resumed, after a fruitless silence; 'but I have seen my way to nothing. They are well guarded. That infernal Secretary stands between them and--people of merit.'
'If he could be got rid of?' said she, brightening a little, after more casting about.
'Take time, Sophronia,' observed her watchful husband, in a patronizing manner.
'If working him out of the way could be presented in the light of a service to Mr Boffin?'
