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第1章 INTRODUCTION

To our parents, who made all the misery possible

Several years ago, a friend passed along a copy of a book called 14,000 Things to Be Happy About. This cheerful little book is a stream-of-consciousness list of life's small joys, the things that make it worth waking up in the morning, that make us appreciate the beauty in the world and feel glad to be alive.

But what about life's small miseries: the things that make us think about jumping off tall buildings and make us wonder if life is really worth living after all?

No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that life is a bowl of cherries, the truth is most of the cherries are sour and life basically sucks. And we decided it was time somebody wrote a book about it. (Not that life is always terrible; sometimes the desire to jump off tall buildings subsides and we're satisfied with silent weeping.)

And so, we present 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About, a stream-of-consciousness list of all the reasons why it's not really worth waking up in the morning. 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About is a much-needed antidote to our culture of raging optimism—greeting cards, self-help books, and all the other ineffective ways we try to make ourselves feel better about existence.

From death and taxes to rhinoviruses, butt acne, and the Hindenburg disaster, 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About is a book that will make you laugh, cry, and contemplate self-mutilation. Happy reading!

"We're all gonna die!!!"

—Lenny Bruce

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