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第2章

did she say anything when she saw you guys?

mad maddie:

she climbed out of her car and gave us an absolute death look, and zoe, being totally un-subtle, elbowed me in the ribs and said, "see? see? i told you!"

SnowAngel:

what'd you do?

mad maddie:

i burst out laffing—i couldn't help it.

mad maddie:

jana was THIS close to marching over and scorching us with her fire-breath, i'm not kidding.

SnowAngel:

you just draw ppl to you, don't you? yr so sweet and cuddly.

mad maddie:

why yes, i am

mad maddie:

wanna know who i've drawn to me who i very much wish was UN-drawn to me? and i'm not talking about jana. i'm talking about a certain someone who latched onto YOU when you lived in el cerrito last year, and who now, apparently, has latched onto ME.

SnowAngel:

uh oh *chortles into hands*

SnowAngel:

did you get another email from glendy?

mad maddie:

glendy is YOUR nutcase, not MINE. why is she sending me her stupid freakin chain letters???

SnowAngel:

why do you keep reading them?

mad maddie:

you sure are glib for someone who's experienced glendy-love firsthand. she STALKED you, angela. and now she's stalking me!

SnowAngel:

oh, muffin, you don't know what stalking is. has she bombarded you with care bears? noooo. has she invited you to dolphin-themed sleepovers? noooo. if she weren't the daughter of my dad's boss, i would have throttled her long ago. but luckily for glendy, she's zillions of miles away in california, so i deal with her by ignoring her—which is what you should do, you freak.

mad maddie:

but why why why is she sending emails to someone she doesn't know?

SnowAngel:

she must have gotten your addy from some group email i once sent, i dunno.

SnowAngel:

she collects ppl like butterfly collectors collect butterflies.

mad maddie:

i am not glendy's butterfly!

SnowAngel:

if you go to her facebook page, you'll c she lists over 4,000 friends. now c'mon. does anyone other than famous ppl really have 4,000 friends?

mad maddie:

the email i got from her today was titled "This Is Beautiful … And You Will Cry!" however, it was NOT beautiful, and i did NOT cry. it was about a made-up person who survived a hurricane or a tsunami or something, and there was a link to a fund where we cld send money. it makes me so mad that ppl try to exploit disasters real live ppl really do go thru.

SnowAngel:

why don't you just block her messages?

mad maddie:

cuz then i couldn't complain about them. duh.

mad maddie:

at the end of the terrible disaster email, it said "let's see satan stop this one," followed by instructions to send it to 5 more ppl in 60 seconds, blah blah blah.

SnowAngel:

of course glendy probably sent it to 60 more ppl in 5 seconds … make that 2,000 more ppl …

mad maddie:

ack, g2g. chumley is hissing at pete mazer's iguana, and Peaches the Friendly Librarian is trotting over to break up the fray.

SnowAngel:

good ol' peaches. give her a squeeze for me.

mad maddie:

fo shizzle!

Thu, Feb 9, 4:15 PM E.S.T.

zoegirl:

hurray for angela! you returned to school—AND YOU SURVIVED!

SnowAngel:

barely. ppl stared, zo. it was one of those deals where everyone's eyes wld drift down to my nose then jerk back up, like, "oh, don't mind me. sure didn't notice that horrible blot on your face—nope, sure didn't!"

zoegirl:

sweetie, your nose is so much less horrible than you think it is. i mentioned it to doug, and he said he wouldn't have even noticed if i hadn't pointed it out.

SnowAngel:

gee, thx

SnowAngel:

speaking of doug, what was up with his whole cheese rant?

zoegirl:

what was up with you giving him such a hard time about it? everyone in the cafeteria was swiveling their heads to see what was going on. they were like, "ok, what's HER deal?"

SnowAngel:

oh please. exaggerate much?

SnowAngel:

he sounded so pretentious, that's all.

zoegirl:

well i guess they have better cheese in other parts of the world, because the cheeses there aren't pasteurized or something.

SnowAngel:

uh huh, whatevs. i LIKE american cheese.

zoegirl:

so do i

SnowAngel:

and not just cheese made in america, but actual orange squares of american cheese. it's the only kind for grilled cheese sandwiches.

zoegirl:

all i'm saying is that *yr* the 1 who made a big deal out of it, not doug. and i guess it seemed a little … over the top. even kristin was like, "does it not bother you that angela spent the whole lunch period monopolizing your boyfriend? she talked to him more than you did!"

SnowAngel:

omg, that is so not true! i can't believe kristin said that!

zoegirl:

it wasn't in a malicious way. it was just an observation.

SnowAngel:

friends aren't supposed to make "observations" like that.

zoegirl:

ok, time out. forget i mentioned it, all right?

SnowAngel:

no, it's not all right. what she said was completely rude!

zoegirl:

we're changing subjects now

SnowAngel:

says who?

zoegirl:

i passed jana in the hall, and if i'm not mistaken, she actually *smiled* at me. isn't that bizarre? i keep expecting to find pig's blood on my locker or something, as payback for the whole Boo Boo Bear thing, and instead she smiles at me?

SnowAngel:

no comment. i'm still annoyed with kristin.

zoegirl:

is it possible that what terri said to her—compliments of me—actually made her change her evil ways?

SnowAngel:

no. a spade is a spade is a spade—which AGAIN is why i'm surprised that kristin would act so uncool, cuz until now i didn't think she WAS a spade.

zoegirl:

okaaaay, time to change the subject

zoegirl:

will you go to planned parenthood with me? i've called and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

SnowAngel:

whoa *jerks back in shock* didn't see that one coming!

zoegirl:

it's just that i'm pretty sure doug and i are gonna have sex, and i'm pretty sure it's gonna be sooner rather than later. i feel bad that i've made him wait this long!

SnowAngel:

he's been AT SEA, zoe. not a whole lot you could do from across the ocean.

zoegirl:

and when we do, i don't wanna be unprepared. i told the lady at planned parenthood that i wanna go on the pill, and she said i have to come in and talk to a counselor.

SnowAngel:

why the pill? why not condoms?

zoegirl:

well, because doug's a virgin just like i am, so disease-wise, we're both safe. i've thought about it, and the pill's the right choice for me.

SnowAngel:

you could do the patch, u know. that's what my aunt sadie uses.

zoegirl:

have you seen it?

SnowAngel:

it's just this brown plastic-y thing. it looks like a band-aid.

zoegirl:

i'm gonna go with the pill.

zoegirl:

will you come with me?

SnowAngel:

of course

SnowAngel:

does doug know?

zoegirl:

no, i'm going to surprise him

zoegirl:

hey! you should go on the pill too, for when you and logan decide to go for it!

SnowAngel:

i don't think so

zoegirl:

why not? don't you want to?

SnowAngel:

of course i do, just … there's no need to rush things. sometimes the wait makes it all the better.

zoegirl:

you're right, you're right, i don't mean to pressure you. i guess i'm just so happy that i'm in love, and i want you and logan to be that happy 2. i mean, you already are, of course. you know what i'm saying.

zoegirl:

if only maddie would find someone!

SnowAngel:

is she coming to planned parenthood with us?

zoegirl:

no, she promised to help her brother move out of their parents' house. can you believe mark and his girlfriend are finally getting a place of their own?

SnowAngel:

it's taken long enuff

SnowAngel:

how's pelt-woman doing, anyway? hairy as ever?

zoegirl:

hairy as ever, or so i assume. maddie still doesn't call her by her real name, if that tells you anything.

SnowAngel:

do we even know her real name?

zoegirl:

i don't remember. do you?

zoegirl:

omg, how horrible!

SnowAngel:

well, she probably doesn't know our names either. we're just "maddie's little friends."

zoegirl:

maddie's little friends who are off to planned parenthood …

SnowAngel:

ppl have no idea, do they? that we're growing up.

zoegirl:

but *we* know … and one of these days they'll figure it out.

SnowAngel:

just hopefully not until after graduation. *wink, wink*

Thu, Feb 9, 9:11 PM E.S.T.

mad maddie:

there is nothing—nothing, i tell you—worse than itchy toes.

SnowAngel:

except for itchy palms. HATE itchy palms.

mad maddie:

toes r worse. the itch is on the knuckle part, and it's driving me nuts.

mad maddie:

but i actually didn't text to tell you that. i texted to tell you about vincent. i went to his house today and found him LOOKING AT PORN ON THE INTERNET!

SnowAngel:

ewww!

mad maddie:

i strolled into his room and there it was, up on the screen. i was like, DEAR JESUS, SAVE THIS BOY!

SnowAngel:

what is it with guys and porn on the internet? do ALL guys like porn from the internet?

mad maddie:

hmm. you want the true answer, or the angela-friendly answer?

SnowAngel:

you don't think logan looks at porn, do you?

mad maddie:

no, no, no. of course not.

SnowAngel:

that's the angela-friendly answer, isn't it?

SnowAngel:

oh, nvm

SnowAngel:

my new friend andre doesn't look at porn on the internet, i know he doesn't.

mad maddie:

what, cuz he's gay you think that? poor innocent angela.

mad maddie:

and you don't have to say "my new friend." i go to school with andre too.

SnowAngel:

yeah, yeah, yeah, but i'm SURE he doesn't look at porn. at least not the kind that vincent looks at.

mad maddie:

well, with vincent, it's straight-up girl porn, and it's just who he is. i'm like, "ya gotta love him," u know?

SnowAngel:

"ya gotta love him"??? maddie, PLEASE tell me yr not doing what i think yr doing!

mad maddie:

which would be …?

SnowAngel:

crushing on vincent! falling for the bad boy!

mad maddie:

whoa—me, falling for VINCENT?!

SnowAngel:

i personally can't believe you're even friends with him, given that he's so tight with jana. how do you get your head around that?

mad maddie:

i don't. don't know what the guy sees in her.

SnowAngel:

have you asked him?

mad maddie:

he says she's fun to party with. is that a guy response or what?

mad maddie:

anywayz, why the inquistion? you have andre, who's your "new friend." i have vincent, my spanish class friend. who entertains me.

SnowAngel:

and makes you hot.

mad maddie:

give me a break. that is not true, angela! and not that it's any of your beeswax, but he's got a thing for lila.

SnowAngel:

uh, hate to say it, but it's not like you've let that stop you before. chive was totally dating whitney when you guys did your little fuck-buddy thing.

mad maddie:

i am so not gonna respond to that. ancient history, a.

mad maddie:

and "fuck buddy" is hardly the term, since i never even got naked with the guy.

SnowAngel:

next thing you know, it'll be YOU jaunting off to planned parenthood, and i'll be alone in the corner wearing black, a virgin forever.

mad maddie:

save the drama for yo mama. vincent and i are just buds.

SnowAngel:

u could look at porn together. and eat popcorn.

mad maddie:

and as for being a virgin forever, you're way more likely to leave the V-club than I am—that is if things with logan are as good as you say.

SnowAngel:

shuddup. when and if logan and i have sex is

mad maddie:

yessss?

SnowAngel:

hold on—mary kate just texted. LOTS of !!!!s.

mad maddie:

dum di dum, dum di dum

mad maddie:

i'm practicing my typing … abcdefg

mad maddie:

STILL practicing my typing … hijklmnop

SnowAngel:

ok, now THAT was weird

mad maddie:

what?

SnowAngel:

maddie, tell me the truth. is something up with zoe? has she been saying things about me to anyone?

mad maddie:

what are you talking about?

SnowAngel:

according to mary kate, paige said zoe thinks i was FLIRTING with doug at lunch.

SnowAngel:

*holds out hands in bewilderment* was i flirting with doug at lunch?

mad maddie:

angela, you flirt with every 2-legged male on the planet.

SnowAngel:

but it doesn't MEAN anything. zoe knows that.

SnowAngel:

do you think she seriously has a problem with me talking to doug?

mad maddie:

yes, she probably thinks yer trying to STEAL HER MAN

SnowAngel:

that's ridiculous!

SnowAngel:

omg, i'm gonna txt her and see what's going on.

mad maddie:

angela, i was teasing!

mad maddie:

angela?

mad maddie:

BUT MY TOES R STILL ITCHING!

Thu, Feb 9, 9:53 PM E.S.T.

SnowAngel:

zo, did u talk to paige jensen at any point today?

zoegirl:

i sat in front of her in AP English, but i wouldn't say we talked. why?

SnowAngel:

well, did u say anything to anybody that could have been passed on to paige? like to kristin, maybe?

zoegirl:

could you be a little more specific?

SnowAngel:

ok, this is stupid, but i'm just gonna say it. i know you think i was hogging doug's attention today, but do you honestly think i was FLIRTING with him?

SnowAngel:

cuz that was a LONG time ago when i somewhat (sorta) threw myself at him, and anyway i would never flirt with him cuz he's going out with YOU, which i would hope you would know!

zoegirl:

what? i *do* know that. when did i say you were flirting with him?!

SnowAngel:

and the more i think about it, the more it makes me mad. i don't wanna go around worrying about every last thing i say or do around him, so if you have a problem with the way i'm acting, would you plz just tell me instead of talking about me behind my back?

zoegirl:

angela. STOP.

zoegirl:

did paige say i was talking about you behind your back?

SnowAngel:

mary kate overheard paige talking to some junior, and paige said that you said i was embarrassing myself with doug, and that i needed to keep my hormones to myself!

zoegirl:

???

zoegirl:

i never said ANY of that!

SnowAngel:

r u sure?

zoegirl:

angela, i just 6 hours ago asked you as my dear friend to go to planned parenthood with me so that one day doug and i can have sex. would i do that if i thought you were flirting with him?

SnowAngel:

well, what about kristin? after all, she already told you what a harlot i am!

zoegirl:

kristin made *one comment* about how much you talked to him. i shouldn't have even told you.

SnowAngel:

what else aren't you telling me?

zoegirl:

nothing!

zoegirl:

*do* you still have a thing for him?

SnowAngel:

NO!

SnowAngel:

but if you didn't say any of the things paige says you did …

SnowAngel:

i'm confused. why would paige say you did?

zoegirl:

i have no idea. call her and ask.

SnowAngel:

yeah right. i've never even had a class with her. i'm gonna call her up and be like, "oh, btw, why were u talking trash about me?"

zoegirl:

then call mary kate and ask *her*. or call kristin. somebody is obviously mixed up.

zoegirl:

seriously, angela, i'm a little hurt you would think that of me!

SnowAngel:

well I'M a little hurt YOU would think that of ME!

zoegirl:

but i didn't! i *don't*!!!

zoegirl:

listen, i think we better end this convo, ok?!

SnowAngel:

zoe, wait!

zoegirl:

why, so you can yell at me some more?

SnowAngel:

agh. i'm SORRY. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry!

SnowAngel:

zo?

zoegirl:

i'm here. i just don't know where this even came from.

SnowAngel:

mary kate thought i should know, that's all.

zoegirl:

except there's nothing TO know. you're getting worked up over nothing.

zoegirl:

remember last semester when you made brownies to cheer me up, after my mom got mad at me for missing the early decision deadline for princeton? only i didn't *know* that's why you'd made them, and i didn't eat any, and you got really pissed?

SnowAngel:

i used aunt sadie's french chocolate. they were the most delicious brownies ever.

zoegirl:

you told me to tell you the next time you overreacted about something. well, here i am telling you.

SnowAngel:

ok, ok, ok

zoegirl:

you need to have faith in me. i love you, and i would never talk about you behind your back. all right?

SnowAngel:

except u did—with kristin

zoegirl:

ANGELA!

SnowAngel:

*baby deep breath. mama deep breath. big daddy deep breath*

zoegirl:

um … is this some new kind of therapy?

SnowAngel:

yes, i learned it from aunt sadie, who got it from 1 of her friends who teaches pre-school.

zoegirl:

and did it work? do you maybe want to tell me that you love me too?

SnowAngel:

of COURSE i do. and i'm sorry for freaking. i am.

SnowAngel:

*blinks humbly at friend* are we still on for tomorrow?

zoegirl:

we better be!

Thu, Feb 9, 10:20 PM E.S.T.

SnowAngel:

hey mads. zoe denied it all, but i called mary kate and she's SURE that's what she heard.

SnowAngel:

u don't think zoe's lying, do u?

mad maddie:

i've never known zoe to be a liar

SnowAngel:

yeah-huh. she lied to her mom when she said she'd apply to princeton early decision, when she never planned to actually do it.

mad maddie:

that was zoe being passive-aggressive, not outright lying. and she DID get her application in eventually.

SnowAngel:

well, maybe it's the same thing here. maybe she said something about me in a passive-aggressive sort of way, and it got twisted around.

SnowAngel:

but in that case why wouldn't she admit it?

mad maddie:

beats me

SnowAngel:

and if she DIDN'T say it, who did? i called kristin, and she swears it wasn't her. but who would have made something like that up?

mad maddie:

chill, angela

mad maddie:

if zoe says she didn't say it, she didn't say it.

SnowAngel:

but it bugs me! wouldn't it bug you if someone was saying un-true things about YOU?

mad maddie:

it's probably some dumb misunderstanding, but i'll keep my ears open tomorrow. if i hear anything i'll tell you!

Fri, Feb 10, 4:33 PM E.S.T.

mad maddie:

hey, zo. u guys doin' the deed at PP?

zoegirl:

we're here right now. eek!

zoegirl:

sad posters on walls. sad people in chairs. waiting my turn.

mad maddie:

text when u get back

zoegirl:

will do. thx for checking in!

Fri, Feb 10, 4:40 PM E.S.T.

SnowAngel:

hey, zo! pretend i'm whispering, k?

zoegirl:

whisper-texting?

SnowAngel:

yeah, to be polite.

SnowAngel:

but check out the girl wearing the "NO" shirt. is that a baby bump or is she just chubby?

zoegirl:

tough call. baby bump?

SnowAngel:

that's my guess. think that's why she wears the "NO" shirt now?

zoegirl:

she looks 14. sheesh.

SnowAngel:

no no no to unprotected sex! and to cat-eye eyeliner. just sayin'.

zoegirl:

that's why we're here. and have you ever seen me do cat-eye eyeliner?

SnowAngel:

maybe she thinks it makes her look older? THIS IS BAD DECISION CITY!

Fri, Feb 10, 6:10 PM E.S.T.

zoegirl:

well … i did it!

mad maddie:

you are with pill?

zoegirl:

i am with pill. is that weird or what?

mad maddie:

what was it like? i want deets!

zoegirl:

it was *crazy*. the woman i talked to was nice, i guess, but she was very … straightforward.

mad maddie:

like how?

zoegirl:

she had a plastic model of a vulva, for one thing. it sat on her desk like a flower arrangement.

mad maddie:

ye gads

zoegirl:

but it was more just the way she talked about everything. like she asked me what kind of "sex play" i'd engaged in, and she went through this checklist, bam bam bam, as if we were making a grocery list. AND she made angela stay outside in the waiting room, so i was all by myself!

mad maddie:

what kind of sex play HAVE you engaged in?

zoegirl:

really?!

zoegirl:

and she asked me if i smoked—as if!

zoegirl:

she told me that doug and i should use condoms even if i did go on the pill, and that we should *talk* about everything before we actually *do* anything. here's her rule: "the topic should come up and the condom should come out before your zipper goes down."

mad maddie:

that's classic

mad maddie:

you should have a plaque with that needlepointed onto it. you could hang it above your bed.

zoegirl:

honestly, she made me want to swear off sex forever. it all sounds so complicated!

mad maddie:

she's right, tho. if yr gonna have sex with someone, you should be able to talk to them about it.

zoegirl:

and another hot tip: she said to consider the use of "lubricants," but never vaseline.

zoegirl:

am i really going to be using … lubricants?

mad maddie:

i dunno. r u?

zoegirl:

AND she asked me if i'd had any abortions, and if so, how many.

zoegirl:

i'm 17! are there really 17-year-olds out there who've had multiple abortions?

mad maddie:

i'm sure there are. depressing, isn't it?

zoegirl:

angela and i saw this one couple out in the waiting room. they were about our age, and the guy was holding the girl's hand and she was crying. it made me wonder if … you know. if that was what she was there for.

mad maddie:

at least the guy came with her

zoegirl:

true

mad maddie:

but yr not gonna get preggo, cuz yr going on the pill.

zoegirl:

right. RIGHT. i start the first sunday after my next period, which should be in a week or so. and once i've started, we're supposed to wait a month to be safe.

mad maddie:

you've waited this long, what's another month?

zoegirl:

well, that's kind of how i feel, to tell you the truth.

zoegirl:

my counselor-lady said there might be side effects that come with taking the pill, like weight gain, moodiness, and "spotty darkening of the skin." doesn't that sound lovely?

mad maddie:

lucky u

zoegirl:

i told angela that part, and she turned pale. she was all, "why is it always the girls who get stuck with this crap? why can't the GUYS get spotty darkening of the skin?!"

mad maddie:

ah, angela, how i love her

mad maddie:

alexis winthrop came up to me today and asked if it was true that she's after doug, btw.

zoegirl:

oh great

mad maddie:

i told her no, of course

zoegirl:

i don't understand. it's like 1 little seed got planted, and now it's growing into this huge thing.

mad maddie:

ppl like gossip, especially when it's something bad.

zoegirl:

not me! angela and i made a pact that if anyone says anything, we're just gonna ignore it.

mad maddie:

it doesn't bother you?

zoegirl:

are you kidding?

zoegirl:

i asked kristin point blank if she talked about angela and doug with anyone else, and she swore up and down that the only comment she made was that one to me.

mad maddie:

what about paige? did you ask her about it?

zoegirl:

no. i almost did, but sitting there in english during the actual moment, i felt too ridiculous.

zoegirl:

it's all so stupid, i figured just let it go.

mad maddie:

makes sense.

zoegirl:

you DO know i didn't say any of that stuff, right? about angela flirting with doug?

mad maddie:

zoe, of course i know that

zoegirl:

i mean, i might have *thought* she was being flirty, just for a sec. but i never said so out loud.

mad maddie:

i know

mad maddie:

i've noticed she HAS toned down the flirtation, tho. like today, she basically ignored him.

zoegirl:

yeah, i noticed that too. part of me feels bad, but part of me's glad.

zoegirl:

although what am i saying? she's going out with logan, for heaven's sake.

mad maddie:

oh, right, he's a great deterrent

Sat, Feb 11, 11:01 AM, E.S.T.

SnowAngel:

ok, little miss nosy pants. i have a list for you of all the reasons logan is so wonderful.

mad maddie:

hey, i never said logan wasn't wonderful. i'm just not convinced he's wonderful for YOU.

SnowAngel:

*clears throat and shakes out piece of paper*

SnowAngel:

Number 1. he loves me and always wants to be with me, even more than with his friends.

mad maddie:

can u say "smother"?

SnowAngel:

Number 2. he downloads songs onto my iPod and makes romantic playlists.

mad maddie:

very sweet, i admit. have you ever made HIM romantic playlists?

SnowAngel:

Number 3. he's extremely cute. even you can't deny that!

mad maddie:

i never have! altho no more Hard Rock Cafe shirts. cld u tell him that, plz? no more Hard Rock?

SnowAngel:

and Number 4. he doesn't look at internet porn!

mad maddie:

hardy har har

mad maddie:

is that all you've got?

SnowAngel:

noooo, that's not all. that's just all i came up with this very second, off the top of my head.

mad maddie:

dude, i love logan—as a PAL. and i know you do too. i'm just not convinced he gets you hot and bothered.

SnowAngel:

we have fun together. he gives great foot rubs, and he loves "mad men." he'll watch episodes back to back with me for as long as i want.

SnowAngel:

he's a catch—even aunt sadie says so. we have a *great* relationship!

mad maddie:

then why are you working so hard to defend it?

SnowAngel:

and i would like to point out that having a boyfriend who's also a "pal" is a good thing. in the long run that's much more important than getting hot and bothered.

mad maddie:

is it? i personally think you should go for both.

SnowAngel:

he's gonna inherit his dad's business one day, did you know that?

mad maddie:

u did NOT just say that

SnowAngel:

and tonite we're doubling with zoe and doug, so there. it's a pre-valentine's day thing.

mad maddie:

ooo-wee, that's sure to be fun.

SnowAngel:

well … to tell the truth, i'd back out if i could. i don't want to be around doug and have zoe accuse me of throwing myself at him again.

mad maddie:

angela, zoe DIDN'T accuse you of throwing yourself at him.

SnowAngel:

or of trying to lure him away or having pent-up feelings for him or whatever. but if she's gonna pretend there isn't all this tension floating around, then so am i.

SnowAngel:

HOWEVER, it's gonna be hard when it's just me and logan and zoe and doug. won't you come with us? please please pleasy please?

mad maddie:

can't. i'm going over to mark and pelt-woman's new pad for dinner. pelt-woman is making vegetarian lasagna in a desperate attempt to cover up the smell of kimchee.

SnowAngel:

huh?

mad maddie:

their new place smells like korean food from the ppl who lived there before them.

SnowAngel:

mad maddie:

you know what's weird? i can't get used to the fact that mark moved out. you'd think i'd be, "wh-hoo, more doritos for me!" but the house feels wrong w/o him.

SnowAngel:

u miss him. that's normal.

mad maddie:

i didn't say i missed him. who said anything about missing him?

SnowAngel:

*deadpans* oh, right, cuz yr tough, strong maddie who takes it all in stride. you luuuuuuuuuuv change. you luuuuuuv change so much you can't wait to dump this town and move to california!

mad maddie:

have you been talking to zoe? r you making fun of me?

SnowAngel:

awww, mads, wld i do that?

mad maddie:

oh, nvm

mad maddie:

have fun on your date!

Sun, Feb 12, 10:00 AM E.S.T.

zoegirl:

morning, angela. that was so fun last night, wasn't it?

SnowAngel:

uh, sure, we should do it more often

zoegirl:

was it weird that during the movie we were all … you know? i felt kind of strange about it afterward.

SnowAngel:

don't worry, it was fine

zoegirl:

"fine"? just "fine"??? i doubt logan would like hearing you call it that!

zoegirl:

jk

zoegirl:

anyway, we're all consenting adults.

SnowAngel:

exactly. of course. no need to talk about it again.

zoegirl:

i'm just so glad the four of us were able to spend time together without there being any ridiculous undercurrents. if anybody ever *did* think you were secretly lusting after doug, they sure wouldn't after last night!

SnowAngel:

cuz i'm NOT lusting after doug. god!

zoegirl:

i know! i know, angela.

zoegirl:

but i am

zoegirl:

*swoons*

zoegirl:

although it's not lust; it's love. sometimes i think, what would i do without him? and then i feel so … i don't know, so un-me for feeling that way. although that's silly, because it *is* me feeling this way …

SnowAngel:

zoegirl:

didn't you think it was funny when doug did his walking-on-hot-coals impression? can you believe he actually DID walk on hot coals?

SnowAngel:

frankly, no

zoegirl:

but he did, in indonesia

zoegirl:

getting to see so many places *did* change him, but all in good ways.

SnowAngel:

he does seem more confident now. the way he holds himself, even.

zoegirl:

sometimes, even though i know i'm being silly, i get this tiny feeling of wondering whether i'm good enough for him. isn't that ridiculous? it's just that i know he's going to do important things in the world. i just *know* it.

SnowAngel:

so r U, zoe

zoegirl:

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