"We must be warriors in the struggle against ignorance."
—Maya Angelou
The Blind Side. Did you see the movie? It was a blockbuster film that earned Sandra Bullock an Oscar for portraying me, Leigh Anne Tuohy. Talk about a shock! I am just an ordinary person, trying to pick out the right tie for my husband Sean to wear when he broadcasts on TV for The Memphis Grizzlies. I'm a mom like so many of you out there, trying to get my son, SJ, up for school on time, or making sure my daughter Collins and my son Michael are focused on what I think they need to be doing. Never did any of us think our lives would be the least bit interesting to anyone else, but let me tell you, a major motion picture about your family is definitely a game changer! Now, in addition to being a wife, a mom, a sister, an aunt and a partner in a design firm, I travel the country doing motivational speaking. I am also a designer for the Emmy winning TV show "Extreme Makeover Home Edition." And through it all, I endeavor to live and share my commitment to faith, family and community.
At the wonderful age of fifty-two, I am daily humbled and astonished by my life's journey. I was raised in a family where giving back was not an option; it was expected. A cheerful heart was also required because without that you might as well be doing nothing at all (hence the title of Sean's and my book In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving). Throughout the years, Sean and I have been asked to donate, be involved, help this person or that organization, and we have always gone back to the same question, "Will this have a direct impact on someone's life?" If the answer was "yes" and if we could swing it, we would volunteer not only our money, but also our time.
Those early small steps of volunteerism and social awareness led us down the path of eventually adopting Michael, who later became a four-year starter for Ole Miss and a first round draft pick in 2009 by the Baltimore Ravens. One random act of kindness changed our lives.
Today, my husband and I are the proud founders of "Making It Happen," the foundation we established to facilitate projects related to children's issues, foster care, and adoption. Unfortunately, our family's motives for adopting an African American boy continue to be questioned; our integrity and character continue to be put to the test. Even after the success of The Blind Side, the insults towards our family have not seemed to lessen. They might, however, be said to me with a little more fear! So, for example, instead of offending me in person, I receive tweets, Facebook posts and letters. And people still call our house occasionally to say the rudest things.
After this many years, the insults don't bother me all that much; however, once in a blue moon, I just want to stamp the word STUPID on someone's forehead or say, "Shame on you!" since, unfortunately, there are many people who still think we should not have offered to help Michael. We should not have loved him and opened up our home to a black person. We should have just kept driving instead of turning around.
Really?!?
Bigotry comes in many colors, shapes, forms, and fashions. There is a lot of self-induced ignorance in this country. Many folks just don't get the fact that every individual should be treated with dignity and respect. They don't understand that all people have inherent value and that their value doesn't change based on their social status or family background or physical appearance.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. passionately spoke these words on August 28, 1963, in Washington, DC.
Now, I say to you today my friend, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this Nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
In 2011, Sean and I received an award, the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Service Award, which deeply humbled us. We have received numerous awards in the last few years, yet this one stood apart from the others. Presented by The Rainbow Push Coalition, we were stunned to be recipients of such a distinguished award, and we knew it wasn't given to us without great consideration. Sean and I joked, "Do you think they know we are white?" since the award is often reserved for honoring people of color. We knew the award was recognizing our decision to adopt an African American child into our Caucasian family, a decision most people find extraordinary. We just felt it had to be done.
At one point after being officially adopted, Michael was asked in an interview what he thought about being adopted by a white family. I'll never forget his response. He looked right at the lady and said, "What does that matter?" I was reminded of this when Sean gave his acceptance speech for the Dr. Martin Luther King award. With tears in his eyes, he said he'd like to believe that when Dr. King heard of Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy receiving this award from an African American organization, he would have responded exactly like Michael asking, "Does it really matter the color of their skin?"
The community service award is given to any persons or groups who have helped advance Dr. King's mission, no matter what their color. Sean and I were greatly humbled to be among such distinguished award recipients, since the award itself signifies the progress our country continues to make in race relations. It represents a hopeful future. It is in direct contrast to some of the offenses our family has endured over the years for having an African American son.
My feeling is you should never write anyone off. It doesn't matter what color their skin or what country they were born in or any other differentiating factor you want to add to this list. In my mind, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BEING PREJUDICE. NONE.
