Ihad all this and more behind me before Iwas six years old and had past thru one year of elementary school in the village of Smiljan where Iwas born.At this juncture we moved to the little city of Gospic nearby.This change of residence was like a calamity to me.It almost broke my heart to part from our pigeons,chickens and sheep,and our magnificent flock of geese which used to rise to the clouds in the morning and return from the feeding grounds at sundown in battle formation,so perfect that it would have put a squadron of the best aviators of the present day to shame.In our new house Iwas but a prisoner,watching the strange people Isaw thru the window blinds.My bashfulness was such that Iwould rather have faced a roaring lion than one of the city dudes who strolled about.But my hardest trial came on Sunday when Ihad to dress up and attend the service.There Imeet with an accident,the mere thought of which made my blood curdle like sour milk for years afterwards.It was my second adventure in a church.Not long before Iwas entombed for a night in an old chapel on an inaccessible mountain which was visited only once a year.It was an awful experience,but this one was worse.
There was a wealthy lady in town,a good but pompous woman,who used to come to the church gorgeously painted up and attired with an enormous train and attendants.One Sunday Ihad just finished ringing the bell in the belfry and rushed downstairs when this grand dame was sweeping out and Ijumped on her train.It tore off with a ripping noise which sounded like a salvo of musketry fired by raw recruits.My father was livid with rage.He gave me a gentle slap on the cheek,the only corporal punishment he ever administered to me but Ialmost feel it now.The embarrassment and confusion that followed are indescribable.Iwas practically ostracised until something else happened which redeemed me in the estimation of the community.
An enterprising young merchant had organized a fire department.Anew fire engine was purchased,uniforms provided and the men drilled for service and parade.The engine was beautifully painted red and black.One afternoon the official trial was prepared for and the machine was transported to the river.The entire population turned out to witness the great spectacle.When all the speeches and ceremonies were concluded,the command was given to pump,but not a drop of water came from the nozzle.The professors and experts tried in vain to locate the trouble.The fizzle was complete when Iarrived at the scene.My knowledge of the mechanism was nil and Iknew next to nothing of air pressure,but instinctively Ifelt for the suction hose in the water and found that it had collapsed.When Iwaded in the river and opened it up the water rushed forth and not a few Sunday clothes were spoiled.Archimedes running naked thru the streets of Syracuse and shouting Eureka at the top of his voice did not make a greater impression than myself.Iwas carried on the shoulders and was the hero of the day.
Upon settling in the city Ibegan a four-years"course in the so-called Normal School preparatory to my studies at the College or Real Gymnasium.During this period my boyish efforts and exploits,as well as troubles,continued.Among other things Iattained the unique distinction of champion crow catcher in the country.My method of procedure was extremely simple.Iwould go in the forest,hide in the bushes,and imitate the call of the bird.Usually Iwould get several answers and in a short while a crow would flutter down into the shrubbery near me.After that all Ineeded to do was to throw a piece of cardboard to distract its attention,jump up and grab it before it could extricate itself from the undergrowth.In this way Iwould capture as many as Idesired.But on one occasion something occurred which made me respect them.Ihad caught a fine pair of birds and was returning home with a friend.When we left the forest,thousands of crows had gathered making a frightful racket.In a few minutes they rose in pursuit and soon enveloped us.The fun lasted until all of a sudden Ireceived a blow on the back of my head which knocked me down.Then they attacked me viciously.Iwas compelled to release the two birds and was glad to join my friend who had taken refuge in a cave.
In the schoolroom there were a few mechanical models which interested me and turned my attention to water turbines.Iconstructed many of these and found great pleasure in operating them.How extraordinary was my life an incident may illustrate.My uncle had no use for this kind of pastime and more than once rebuked me.Iwas fascinated by a description of Niagara Falls Ihad perused,and pictured in my imagination a big wheel run by the Falls.Itold my uncle that Iwould go to America and carry out this scheme.Thirty years later Isaw my ideas carried out at Niagara and marveled at the unfathomable mystery of the mind.
Imade all kinds of other contrivances and contraptions but among these the arbalists Iproduced were the best.My arrows,when shot,disappeared from sight and at close range traversed a plank of pine one inch thick.Thru the continuous tightening of the bows Ideveloped skin on my stomach very much like that of a crocodile and Iam often wondering whether it is due to this exercise that Iam able even now to digest cobble-stones!
Nor can Ipass in silence my performances with the sling which would have enabled me to give a stunning exhibit at the Hippodrome.And now Iwill tell of one of my feats with this antique implement of war which will strain to the utmost the credulity of the reader.Iwas practicing while walking with my uncle along the river.The sun was setting,the trout were playful and from time to time one would shoot up into the air,its glistening body sharply defined against a projecting rock beyond.Of course any boy might have hit a fish under these propitious conditions but Iundertook a much more difficult task and Iforetold to my uncle,to the minutest detail,what Iintended doing.Iwas to hurl a stone to meet the fish,press its body against the rock,and cut it in two.It was no sooner said than done.My uncle looked at me almost scared out of his wits and exclaimed "Vade retro Satanas!"and it was a few days before he spoke to me again.Other records,how ever great,will be eclipsed but Ifeel that Icould peacefully rest on my laurels for a thousand years.
