Don't say such things, Jonathan, my husband, or you will crush me with fear and horror. Just think, my dear. . .I have been thinking all this long, long day of it. . .that. . . perhaps. . .some day. . . I, too, may need such pity, and that some other like you, and with equal cause for anger, may deny it to me! Oh, my husband! My husband, indeed I would have spared you such a thought had there been another way.
But I pray that God may not have treasured your wild words, except as the heart-broken wail of a very loving and sorely stricken man. Oh, God, let these poor white hairs go in evidence of what he has suffered, who all his life has done no wrong, and on whom so many sorrows have come."
We men were all in tears now. There was no resisting them, and we wept openly. She wept, too, to see that her sweeter counsels had prevailed. Her husband flung himself on his knees beside her, and putting his arms round her, hid his face in the folds of her dress.
Van Helsing beckoned to us and we stole out of the room, leaving the two loving hearts alone with their God.
Before they retired the Professor fixed up the room against any coming of the Vampire, and assured Mrs. Harker that she might rest in peace. She tried to school herself to the belief, and manifestly for her husband's sake, tried to seem content.
It was a brave struggle, and was, I think and believe, not without its reward. Van Helsing had placed at hand a bell which either of them was to sound in case of any emergency.
When they had retired, Quincey, Godalming, and I arranged that we should sit up, dividing the night between us, and watch over the safety of the poor stricken lady.
The first watch falls to Quincey, so the rest of us shall be off to bed as soon as we can.
Godalming has already turned in, for his is the second watch.
Now that my work is done I, too, shall go to bed.
JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL
3-4 October, close to midnight.--I thought yesterday would never end. There was over me a yearning for sleep, in some sort of blind belief that to wake would be to find things changed, and that any change must now be for the better.
Before we parted, we discussed what our next step was to be, but we could arrive at no result. All we knew was that one earth box remained, and that the Count alone knew where it was.
If he chooses to lie hidden, he may baffle us for years.
And in the meantime, the thought is too horrible, I dare not think of it even now. This I know, that if ever there was a woman who was all perfection, that one is my poor wronged darling.
I loved her a thousand times more for her sweet pity of last night, a pity that made my own hate of the monster seem despicable.
Surely God will not permit the world to be the poorer by the loss of such a creature. This is hope to me.
We are all drifting reefwards now, and faith is our only anchor.
Thank God! Mina is sleeping, and sleeping without dreams.
I fear what her dreams might be like, with such terrible memories to ground them in. She has not been so calm, within my seeing, since the sunset. Then, for a while, there came over her face a repose which was like spring after the blasts of March.
I thought at the time that it was the softness of the red sunset on her face, but somehow now I think it has a deeper meaning.
I am not sleepy myself, though I am weary. . .weary to death.
However, I must try to sleep. For there is tomorrow to think of, and there is no rest for me until. . .
Later--I must have fallen asleep, for I was awakened by Mina, who was sitting up in bed, with a startled look on her face.
I could see easily, for we did not leave the room in darkness.
She had placed a warning hand over my mouth, and now she whispered in my ear, "Hush! There is someone in the corridor!"
I got up softly, and crossing the room, gently opened the door.
Just outside, stretched on a mattress, lay Mr. Morris, wide awake.
He raised a warning hand for silence as he whispered to me, "Hush!
Go back to bed. It is all right. One of us will be here all night.
We don't mean to take any chances!"
His look and gesture forbade discussion, so I came back and told Mina.
She sighed and positively a shadow of a smile stole over her poor, pale face as she put her arms round me and said softly, "Oh, thank God for good brave men!" With a sigh she sank back again to sleep.
I write this now as I am not sleepy, though I must try again.
4 October, morning.--Once again during the night I was wakened by Mina.
This time we had all had a good sleep, for the grey of the coming dawn was making the windows into sharp oblongs, and the gas flame was like a speck rather than a disc of light.
She said to me hurriedly, "Go, call the Professor.
I want to see him at once."
"Why?" I asked.
"I have an idea. I suppose it must have come in the night, and matured without my knowing it. He must hypnotize me before the dawn, and then I shall be able to speak.
Go quick, dearest, the time is getting close."
I went to the door. Dr. Seward was resting on the mattress, and seeing me, he sprang to his feet.
"Is anything wrong?" he asked, in alarm.
"No," I replied. "But Mina wants to see Dr. Van Helsing at once."
"I will go," he said, and hurried into the Professor's room.
Two or three minutes later Van Helsing was in the room in his dressing gown, and Mr. Morris and Lord Godalming were with Dr. Seward at the door asking questions.
When the Professor saw Mina a smile, a positive smile ousted the anxiety of his face.
He rubbed his hands as he said, "Oh, my dear Madam Mina, this is indeed a change. See! Friend Jonathan, we have got our dear Madam Mina, as of old, back to us today!" Then turning to her, he said cheerfully, "And what am I to do for you?
