People usually revenge themselves for having admired too much, by afterwards despising and depreciating without mercy--in all great assemblies the perception of ridicule is quickly caught, and quickly too revealed.Lady Clonbrony, even in her own house, on her gala night, became an object of ridicule--decently masked, indeed, under the appearance of condolence with her ladyship, and of indignation against 'that abominable Mr.Soho!'
Lady Langdale, who was now, for reasons of her own, upon her good behaviour, did penance, as she said, for her former imprudence, by abstaining even from whispered sarcasms.She looked on with penitential gravity, said nothing herself, and endeavoured to keep Mrs.Dareville in order; but that was no easy task.Mrs.
Dareville had no daughters, had nothing to gain from the acquaintance of my Lady Clonbrony; and, conscious that her ladyship would bear a vast deal from her presence, rather than forego the honour of her sanction, Mrs.Dareville, without any motives of interest, or good-nature of sufficient power to restrain her talent and habit of ridicule, free from hope or fear, gave full scope to all the malice of mockery, and all the insolence of fashion.Her slings and arrows, numerous as they were and outrageous, were directed against such petty objects, and the mischief was so quick, in its aim and its operation, that, felt but not seen, it is scarcely possible to register the hits, or to describe the nature of the wounds.
Some hits sufficiently palpable, however, were recorded for the advantage of posterity.When Lady Clonbrony led her to look at the Chinese pagoda, the lady paused, with her foot on the threshold, as if afraid to enter this porcelain Elysium, as she called it--Fool's Paradise, she would have said; and, by her hesitation, and by the half-pronounced word, suggested the idea --'None but belles without petticoats can enter here,' said she, drawing her clothes tight round her; 'fortunately, I have but two, and Lady Langdale has but one.' Prevailed upon to venture in, she walked on with prodigious care and trepidation, affecting to be alarmed at the crowd of strange forms and monsters by which she was surrounded.
'Not a creature here that I ever saw before in nature! Well, now I may boast I've been in a real Chinese pagoda!'
'Why yes, everything is appropriate here, I flatter myself,' said Lady Clonbrony.
'And how good of you, my dear Lady Clonbrony, in defiance of bulls and blunders, to allow us a comfortable English fireplace and plenty of Newcastle coal, in China!--And a white marble--no!
white velvet hearthrug, painted with beautiful flowers--oh, the delicate, the USEFUL thing!'
Vexed by the emphasis on the word USEFUL, Lady Clonbrony endeavoured to turn off the attention of the company.'Lady Langdale, your ladyship's a judge of china--this vase is an unique, I am told.'
'I am told,' interrupted Mrs.Dareville, 'this is the very vase in which B--, the nabob's father, who was, you know, a China captain, smuggled his dear little Chinese wife and all her fortune out of Canton--positively, actually put the lid on, packed her up, and sent her off on shipboard!--True! true! upon my veracity! I'll tell you my authority!'
With this story Mrs.Dareville drew all attention from the jar, to Lady Clonbrony's infinite mortification.
Lady Langdale at length turned to look at a vast range of china jars.
'Ali Baba and the forty thieves!' exclaimed Mrs.Dareville; 'Ihope you have boiling oil ready!'
Lady Clonbrony was obliged to laugh, and to vow that Mrs.
Dareville was uncommon pleasant to-night.'But now,' said her ladyship, 'let me take you on to the Turkish tent.'
Having with great difficulty got the malicious wit out of the pagoda and into the Turkish tent, Lady Clonbrony began to breathe more freely; for here she thought she was upon safe ground:
'Everything, I flatter myself' said she, 'is correct and appropriate, and quite picturesque.' The company, dispersed in happy groups, or reposing on seraglio ottomans, drinking lemonade and sherbet beautiful Fatimas admiring, or being admired--'Everything here quite correct, appropriate, and picturesque,'
repeated Mrs.Dareville.
This lady's powers as a mimic were extraordinary, and she found them irresistible.Hitherto she had imitated Lady Clonbrony's air and accent only behind her back; but, bolder grown, she now ventured, in spite of Lady Langdale's warning pinches, to mimic her kind hostess before her face, and to her face.Now, whenever Lady Clonbrony saw anything that struck her fancy in the dress of her fashionable friends, she had a way of hanging her head aside, and saying, with a peculiar sentimental drawl--'How pretty!--how elegant! Now that quite suits my TEESTE! This phrase, precisely in the same accent, and with the head set to the same angle of affectation, Mrs.Dareville had the assurance to address to her ladyship, apropos to something which she pretended to admire in Lady Clonbrony's COSTUME--a costume which, excessively fashionable in each of its parts, was, all together, so extraordinarily unbecoming as to be fit for a print-shop.The perception of this, added to the effect of Mrs.Dareville's mimicry, was almost too much for Lady Langdale; she could not possibly have stood it, but for the appearance of Miss Nugent at this instant behind Lady Clonbrony.Grace gave one glance of indignation which seemed suddenly to strike Mrs.Dareville.
Silence for a moment ensued, and afterwards the tone of the conversation was changed.
'Salisbury!--explain this to me,' said a lady, drawing Mr.
Salisbury aside.'If you are in the secret, do explain this to me; for unless I had seen it, I could not have believed it.Nay, though I have seen it, I do not believe it.How was that daring spirit laid? By what spell?'
'By the spell which superior minds always cast on inferior spirits.'
