It was Lord Colambre.His lordship had by this time become a constant visitor at Lady Dashfort's.Not that he had forgotten, or that he meant to disregard his friend Sir James Brooke's parting words.He promised himself faithfully, that if anything should occur to give him reason to suspect designs, such as those to which the warning pointed, he would be on his guard, and would prove his generalship by an able retreat.But to imagine attacks where none were attempted, to suspect ambuscades in the open country, would be ridiculous and cowardly.
'No,' thought our hero; 'Heaven forfend I should be such a coxcomb as to fancy every woman who speaks to me has designs upon my precious heart, or on my more precious estate!' As he walked from his hotel to Lady Dashfort's house, ingeniously wrong, he came to this conclusion, just as he ascended the stairs, and just as her ladyship had settled her future plan of operations.
After talking over the nothings of the day, and after having given two or three CUTS at the society of Dublin, with two or three compliments to individuals, who, she knew, were favourites with his lordship, she suddenly turned to him--'My lord, I think you told me, or my own sagacity discovered, that you want to see something of Ireland, and that you don't intend, like most travellers, to turn round, see nothing, and go home content.'
Lord Colambre assured her ladyship that she had judged him rightly, for, that nothing would content him but seeing all that was possible to be seen of his native country.It was for this special purpose he came to Ireland.
'Ah!--well--very good purpose--can't be better; but now, how to accomplish it.You know the Portuguese proverb says, "You go to hell for the good things you intend to do, and to heaven for those you do." Now let us see what you will do.Dublin, Isuppose, you've seen enough of by this time; through and through --round and round this makes me first giddy and then sick.Let me show you the country--not the face of it, but the body of it--the people.Not Castle this, or Newtown that, but their inhabitants.I know them; I have the key, or the picklock to their minds.An Irishman is as different an animal on his guard, and off his guard, as a miss in school from a miss out of school.
A fine country for game, I'll show you; and, if you are a good marksman, you may have plenty of shots "at folly as it flies."'
Lord Colambre smiled.'As to Isabel,' pursued her lady-ship, 'Ishall put her in charge of Heathcock, who is going with us.She won't thank me for that, but you will.Nay, no fibs, man; you know, I know, as who does not that has seen the world, that though a pretty woman is a mighty pretty thing, yet she is confoundedly in one's way, when anything else is to be seen, heard--or understood.'
Every objection anticipated and removed, and so far a prospect held out of attaining all the information he desired, with more than all the amusement he could have expected, Lord Colambre seemed much tempted to accept the invitation; but he hesitated, because, as he said, her ladyship might be going to pay visits where he was not acquainted.
'Bless you! don't let that be a stumbling-block in the way of your tender conscience.I am going to Killpatrickstown, where you'll be as welcome as light.You know them, they know you; at least you shall have a proper letter of invitation from my Lord and my Lady Killpatrick, and all that.And as to the rest, you know a young man is always welcome every-where, a young nobleman kindly welcome,--I won't say such a young man, and such a young nobleman, for that might put you to pour bows or your blushes--but NOBILITAS by itself, nobility is enough in all parties, in all families, where there are girls, and of course balls, as there are always at Killpatrickstown.Don't be alarmed; you shall not be forced to dance, or asked to marry.I'll be your security.You shall be at full liberty; and it is a house where you can do just what you will.Indeed, I go to no others.These Killpatricks are the best creatures in the world; they think nothing good or grand enough for me.If I'd let them, they would lay down cloth of gold over their bogs for me to walk upon.
--Good-hearted beings!' added Lady Dashfort, marking a cloud gathering on Lord Colambre's countenance.'I laugh at them, because I love them.I could not love anything I might not laugh at--your lordship excepted.So you'll come--that's settled.'
And so it was settled.Our hero went to Killpatrickstown.
'Everything here sumptuous and unfinished, you see,' said Lady Dashfort to Lord Colambre, the day after their arrival.'All begun as if the projectors thought they had the command of the mines of Peru, and ended as if the possessors had not sixpence;DES ARRANGEMENS PROVISATOIRES, temporary expedients; in plain English, MAKE-SHIFTS.Luxuries, enough for an English prince of the blood; comforts, not enough for an English woman.And you may be sure that great repairs and alterations have gone on to fit this house for our reception, and for our English eyes!--Poor people!--English visitors, in this point of view, are horribly expensive to the Irish.Did you ever hear that, in the last century, or in the century before the last, to put my story far enough back, so that it shall not touch anybody living ; when a certain English nobleman, Lord Blank A--, sent to let his Irish friend, Lord Blank B--, know that he and all his train were coming over to pay him a visit; the Irish nobleman, Blank B--, knowing the deplorable condition of his castle, sat down fairly to calculate whether it would cost him most to put the building in good and sufficient repair, fit to receive these English visitors, or to burn it to the ground.He found the balance to be in favour of burning, which was wisely accomplished next day.
Perhaps Killpatrick would have done well to follow this example.
