"Discover--nonsense--too much shaken by the breakdown--besides--extreme caution--gave up the post-chaise--walked on--took a hackney coach--came to the Borough--last place in the world that he'd look in--ha! ha!--capital notion that--very.""Don't be long," said the spinster, affectionately, as Mr.Jingle stuck the pinched-up hat on his head.
"Long away from you ?--Cruel charmer," and Mr.Jingle skipped playfully up to the spinster aunt, imprinted a chaste kiss upon her lips, and danced out of the room.
"Dear man!" said the spinster as the door closed after him.
"Rum old girl," said Mr.Jingle, as he walked down the passage.
It is painful to reflect upon the perfidy of our species; and we will not, therefore, pursue the thread of Mr.Jingle's meditations, as he wended his way to Doctors' Commons.It will be sufficient for our purpose to relate, that escaping the snares of the dragons in white aprons, who guard the entrance to that enchanted region, he reached the Vicar General's office in safety, and having procured a highly flattering address on parchment, from the Archbishop of Canterbury, to his "trusty and well-beloved Alfred Jingle and Rachael Wardle, greeting," he carefully deposited the mystic document in his pocket, and retraced his steps in triumph to the Borough.
He was yet on his way to the White Hart, when two plump gentlemen and one thin one entered the yard, and looked round in search of some authorised person of whom they could make a few inquiries.Mr.Samuel Weller happened to be at that moment engaged in burnishing a pair of painted tops, the personal property of a farmer who was refreshing himself with a slight lunch of two or three pounds of cold beef and a pot or two of porter, after the fatigues of the Borough market; and to him the thin gentlemen straightway advanced.
"My friend," said the thin gentleman.
"You're one o' the adwice gratis order," thought Sam, "or you wouldn't be so werry fond o' me all at once." But he only said--"Well, sir.""My friend," said the thin gentleman, with a conciliatory hem--"Have you got many people stopping here, now? Pretty busy.Eh?"Sam stole a look at the inquirer.He was a little highdried man, with a dark squeezed-up face, and small restless black eyes, that kept winking and twinkling on each side of his little inquisitive nose, as if they were playing a perpetual game of peep-bo with that feature.He was dressed all in black, with boots as shiny as his eyes, a low white neckcloth, and a clean shirt with a frill to it.A gold watch-chain, and seals, depended from his fob.He carried his black kid gloves in his hands, not on them; and as he spoke, thrust his wrists beneath his coat-tails, with the air of a man who was in the habit of propounding some regular posers.
"Pretty busy, eh?" said the little man.
"Oh, werry well, sir," replied Sam, "we shan't be bankrupts, and we shan't make our fort'ns.We eats our biled mutton without capers, and don't care for horse-radish wen ve can get beef.""Ah," said the little man, "you're a wag, a'nt you?""My eldest brother was troubled with that complaint," said Sam; "it may be catching--I used to sleep with him.""This is a curious old house of yours," said the little man, looking round him.
"If you'd sent word you was a coming, we'd ha' had it repaired;" replied the imperturbable Sam.
The little man seemed rather baffled by these several repulses, and a short consultation took place between him and the two plump gentlemen.
At its conclusion, the little man took a pinch of snuff from an oblong silver box, and was apparently on the point of renewing the conversation, when one of the plump gentlemen, who in addition to a benevolent countenance, possessed a pair of spectacles, and a pair of black gaiters, interfered--"The fact of the matter is," said the benevolent gentleman, "that my friend here (pointing to the other plump gentleman) will give you half a guinea, if you'll answer one or two--""Now, my dear sir--my dear sir," said the little man, "pray, allow me--my dear sir, the very first principle to be observed in these cases, is this:
if you place a matter in the hands of a professional man, you must in no way interfere in the progress of the business; you must repose implicit confidence in him.Really, Mr.(he turned to the other plump gentleman, and said)--I forget your friend's name.""Pickwick," said Mr.Wardle, for it was no other than that jolly personage.
"Ah, Pickwick--really Mr.Pickwick, my dear sir, excuse me--I shall be happy to receive any private suggestions of yours, as amicus curiae , but you must see the impropriety of your interfering with my conduct in this case, with such an ad captandum argument as the offer of half a guinea.Really, my dear sir, really;" and the little man took an argumentative pinch of snuff, and looked very profound.
"My only wish, sir," said Mr.Pickwick, "was to bring this very unpleasant matter to as speedy a close as possible.""Quite right--quite right," said the little man.
