登陆注册
5389300000054

第54章 Eugene Field's Practical Jokes (1)

Eugene Field was one of Edward Bok's close friends and also his despair, as was likely to be the case with those who were intimate with the Western poet.One day Field said to Bok: "I am going to make you the most widely paragraphed man in America." The editor passed the remark over, but he was to recall it often as his friend set out to make his boast good.

The fact that Bok was unmarried and the editor of a woman's magazine appealed strongly to Field's sense of humor.He knew the editor's opposition to patent medicines, and so he decided to join the two facts in a paragraph, put on the wire at Chicago, to the effect that the editor was engaged to be married to Miss Lavinia Pinkham, the granddaughter of Mrs.Lydia Pinkham, of patent-medicine fame.The paragraph carefully described Miss Pinkham, the school where she had been educated, her talents, her wealth, etc.Field was wise enough to put the paragraph not in his own column in the Chicago News, lest it be considered in the light of one of his practical jokes, but on the news page of the paper, and he had it put on the Associated Press wire.

He followed this up a few days later with a paragraph announcing Bok's arrival at a Boston hotel.Then came a paragraph saying that Miss Pinkham was sailing for Paris to buy her trousseau.The paragraphs were worded in the most matter-of-fact manner, and completely fooled the newspapers, even those of Boston.Field was delighted at the success of his joke, and the fact that Bok was in despair over the letters that poured in upon him added to Field's delight.

He now asked Bok to come to Chicago."I want you to know some of my cronies," he wrote."Julia [his wife] is away, so we will shift for ourselves." Bok arrived in Chicago one Sunday afternoon, and was to dine at Field's house that evening.He found a jolly company: James Whitcomb Riley, Sol Smith Russell the actor, Opie Read, and a number of Chicago's literary men.

When seven o'clock came, some one suggested to Field that something to eat might not be amiss.

"Shortly," answered the poet."Wife is out; cook is new, and dinner will be a little late.Be patient." But at eight o'clock there was still no dinner.Riley began to grow suspicious and slipped down-stairs.He found no one in the kitchen and the range cold.He came back and reported.

"Nonsense," said Field."It can't be." All went down-stairs to find out the truth."Let's get supper ourselves," suggested Russell.Then it was discovered that not a morsel of food was to be found in the refrigerator, closet, or cellar."That's a joke on us," said Field.

"Julia has left us without a crumb to eat.

It was then nine o'clock.Riley and Bok held a council of war and decided to slip out and buy some food, only to find that the front, basement, and back doors were locked and the keys missing! Field was very sober."Thorough woman, that wife of mine," he commented.But his friends knew better.

Finally, the Hoosier poet and the Philadelphia editor crawled through one of the basement windows and started on a foraging expedition.Of course, Field lived in a residential section where there were few stores, and on Sunday these were closed.There was nothing to do but to board a down-town car.Finally they found a delicatessen shop open, and the two hungry men amazed the proprietor by nearly buying out his stock.

It was after ten o'clock when Riley and Bok got back to the house with their load of provisions to find every door locked, every curtain drawn, and the bolt sprung on every window.Only the cellar grating remained, and through this the two dropped their bundles and themselves, and appeared in the dining-room, dirty and dishevelled, to find the party at table enjoying a supper which Field had carefully hidden and brought out when they had left the house.

Riley, cold and hungry, and before this time the victim of Field's practical jokes, was not in a merry humor and began to recite paraphrases of Field's poems.Field retorted by paraphrasing Riley's poems, and mimicking the marked characteristics of Riley's speech.This started Sol Smith Russell, who mimicked both.The fun grew fast and furious, the entire company now took part, Mrs.Field's dresses were laid under contribution, and Field, Russell, and Riley gave an impromptu play.And it was upon this scene that Mrs.Field, after a continuous ringing of the door-bell and nearly battering down the door, appeared at seven o'clock the next morning!

It was fortunate that Eugene Field had a patient wife; she needed every ounce of patience that she could command.And no one realized this more keenly than did her husband.He once told of a dream he had which illustrated the endurance of his wife.

"I thought," said Field, "that I had died and gone to heaven.I had some difficulty in getting past St.Peter, who regarded me with doubt and suspicion, and examined my records closely, but finally permitted me to enter the pearly gates.As I walked up the street of the heavenly city, I saw a venerable old man with long gray hair and flowing beard.His benignant face encouraged me to address him.'I have just arrived and Iam entirely unacquainted,' I said.'May I ask your name?'

"'My name,' he replied, 'is Job.'

"'Indeed,' I exclaimed, 'are you that Job whom we were taught to revere as the most patient being in the world?'

"'The same,' he said, with a shadow of hesitation; 'I did have quite a reputation for patience once, but I hear that there is a woman now on earth, in Chicago, who has suffered more than I ever did, and she has endured it with great resignation.'

"'Why,' said I, 'that is curious.I am just from earth, and from Chicago, and I do not remember to have heard of her case.What is her name?'

"'Mrs.Eugene Field,' was the reply.

"Just then I awoke," ended Field.

同类推荐
  • 大乘净土赞

    大乘净土赞

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 贤首五教断证三觉拣滥图

    贤首五教断证三觉拣滥图

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 苏谈

    苏谈

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 西伯利东偏纪要

    西伯利东偏纪要

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 画筌

    画筌

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 马首农言

    马首农言

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 坑塘里的树林

    坑塘里的树林

    正月十六早晨,我们又见到了柴小水。在柴窑村,大家有一天见不到柴小水,都会觉得缺少点什么。要说柴小水本人,并无特别之处。在豫东平原,你很容易见到这样的庄稼汉,身材瘦弱,面皮黝黑,一双眼睛像是刚刚睡醒,却又温和、明亮,让人感到亲切。但不知为何,只要提起柴小水,我们总有说不完的话题。柴小水出现在村口时,肩上一定扛着一把铁锨。柴小水所到之处,只要路面不平,他便会用手中的铁锨,从附近挖来泥土,垫在低洼的地方,然后把新垫的泥土踩实、踏平。柴小水是个闲不住的人,你可以说柴小水是全村人的劳动力,即便是一个三岁小孩,都可以随时使唤他。
  • 帅哥不好追男神住对面

    帅哥不好追男神住对面

    某花痴女梦见美男。结果遇见了美男,某女;“哇,我还在做梦?”某男“……”某女;“啊!疼,没做梦啊”某女流口水。某男……无语
  • 我是奉先

    我是奉先

    一个军事历史专业的前特种兵改行的游戏玩家在意外事故身死道消满心不甘的时候碰到了同样满心不甘的先祖吕布,接下来自然是转世重生,重新走过三国第一武将吕布吕奉先的悲喜人生,不一样的人物注定了不一样的历史,既然已经穿越回不去了,那就闹他个轰轰烈烈,重生的吕奉先注定不会默默无闻,依然将布武天下,也许可以去实现他的那个梦想,东西方两大帝国来一次亲密的交流!读者交流群:36109811欢迎关注新书《野蛮人崛起》,这是一本玄幻类的作品,请继续支持
  • 神印圣痕

    神印圣痕

    自从走大运买了一个极品游戏号之后,宁萌的世界就开始不正常了。满口“法宝”“妖兽”“秘术”的九公灵王,简直中二爆棚,对方甚至还丧心病狂地想要送宁萌什么“蕴灵草”……某天,一件意外的事情发生了,然后宁萌费了十八年建立起来的世界观轰然倒塌……误闯入修真领域的宁萌开始了大道之旅,修真之旅道阻且坚,宁萌完全不虚,神秘圣痕带着他乘风破浪,踏天歌……
  • 双赢谈判

    双赢谈判

    本书适合中国人的谈判之道,被誉为“大中华最本土的大众谈判读本”,《双赢谈判:谈判不败的制胜秘诀》揭露了公关谈判专家不为人知的谈判策略与独门心法,教你练就一身谈判绝活,掌握谈判精髓,人人都能用到的谈判策略,商业交涉、求职加薪、购物砍价、人际交往等都能用上的谈判技巧;提升内心正能量9种心法,助你30天成为无往不利谈判赢家,认真看完本书,以后所有的谈判由你主导。
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • A Question of Latitude

    A Question of Latitude

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 医妃自惊华

    医妃自惊华

    【腹黑双面冷王爷VS性格顽劣俏女医】初见,是她窃听他的琴音失足落水,为他所救,狼狈不堪;又见,她抢了他的雪顶韩翠,他拿了她的宝贝簪子,她又毫不犹豫地坑了他一把,“互相伤害”的默契,逐渐生长。一眼万年,许是如此。后来啊,他为她性命作保,她因他重拾起那尘封的爱恨。时局微妙,暗流涌动,她该如何在其中斡旋求生?“虽千万人吾亦不念,虽千万事吾亦不觉。”她向来不是个后知后觉的人,可这份独一无二的温柔与纵容,她应该早点感受到的。即便万劫不复,你我仍同行不悖。1V1甜宠古风文,倾心奉献日更4000+欢迎阅读!
  • 装模作样

    装模作样

    多数人都不甘寂寞,少数人飞蛾扑火,你终日浑浑噩噩,若是有一日明白过来,寂寞是输过,不敢再向前走。