Be gentle, and learn how to suffer.When one suffers patiently one suffers less.If you should be badly treated, Madame de Gabry and I would both consider ourselves badly treated in your person."...
"Is your health very good indeed, dear Monsieur?"It was Mademoiselle Prefere, approaching stealthily behind us, who had asked the question with a peculiar smile.My first idea was to tell her to go to the devil; my second, that her mouth was as little suited for smiling as a frying-pan for musical purposes; my third was to answer her politely and assure her that I hoped she was very well.
She sent the young girl out to take a walk in the garden; then, pressing one hand upon her pelerine and extending the other towards the Tableau d'Honneur, she showed me the name of Jeanne Alexandre written at the head of the list in large text.
"I am very much pleased," I said to her, "to find that you are satisfied with the behaviour of that child.Nothing could delight me more; and I am inclined to attribute this happy result to your affectionate vigilance.I have taken the liberty to send you a few books which I think may serve both to instruct and to amuse young girls.You will be able to judge by glancing over them whether they are adapted to the perusal of Mademoiselle Alexandre and her companions."The gratitude of the schoolmistress not only overflowed in words, but seemed about to take the form of tearful sensibility.In order to change the subject I observed, "What a beautiful day this is!""Yes," she replied; "and if this weather continues, those dear children will have a nice time for their enjoyment.""I suppose you are referring to the holidays.But Mademoiselle Alexandre, who has no relatives, cannot go away.What in the world is she going to do all alone in this great big house?""Oh, we will do everything we can to amuse her....I will take her to the museums and---"She hesitated, blushed, and continued, "--and to your house, if you will permit me.""Why of course!" I exclaimed."That is a first-rate idea."We separated very good friends with one another.I with her, because I had been able to obtain what I desired; she with me, for no appreciable motive--which fact, according to Plato, elevated her into the highest rank of the Hierarchy of Souls.
...And nevertheless it is not without a presentiment of evil that Ifind myself on the point of introducing this person into my house.
And I would be very glad indeed to see Jeanne in charge of anybody else rather than of her.Maitre Mouche and Mademoiselle Prefere are characters whom I cannot at all understand.I never can imagine why they say what they do say, nor why they do what they do; they have a mysterious something in common which makes me feel uneasy.
As Jeanne said to me a little while ago: "One is uneasy about what one cannot understand."Alas! at my age one has learned only too well how little sincerity there is in life; one has learned only too well how much one loses by living a long time in this world; and one feels that one can no longer trust any except the young.
August 12.
I waited for them.In fact, I waited for them very impatiently.Iexerted all my powers of insinuation and of coaxing to induce Therese to receive them kindly; but my powers in this direction are very limited.They came.Jeanne was neater and prettier than I had ever expected to see her.She has not, it is true, anything approaching the charm of her mother.But to-day, for the first time, I observed that she has a pleasing face; and a pleasing face is of great advantage to a woman in this world.I think that her hat was a little on one side; but she smiled, and the City of Books was all illuminated by that smile.
I watched Therese to see whether the rigid manners of the old housekeeper would soften a little at the sight of the young girl.Isaw her turning her lustreless eyes upon Jeanne; I saw her long wrinkled face, her toothless mouth, and that pointed chin of hers--like the chin of some puissant old fairy.And that was all I could see.
Mademoiselle Prefere made her appearance all in blue--advanced, retreated, skipped, tripped, cried out, sighed, cast her eyes down, rolled her eyes up, bewildered herself with excuses--said she dared not, and nevertheless dared--said she would never dare again, and nevertheless dared again--made courtesies innumerable--made, in short, all the fuss she could.
"What a lot of books!" she screamed."And have you really read them all, Monsieur Bonnard?""Alas! I have," I replied, "and that is just the reason that I do not know anything; for there is not a single one of those books which does not contradict some other book; so that by the time one has read them all one does not know what to think about anything.That is just my condition, Madame."Thereupon she called Jeanne for the purpose of communicating her impressions.But Jeanne was looking out of the window.
"How beautiful it is!" she said to us."How I love to see the river flowing! It makes you think about all kinds of things."Mademoiselle Prefere having removed her hat and exhibited a forehead tricked out with blonde curls, my housekeeper sturdily snatched up the hat at once, with the observation that she did not like to see people's clothes scattered over the furniture.Then she approached Jeanne and asked her for her "things," calling her "my little lady!"Where-upon the little lady, giving up her cloak and hat, exposed to view a very graceful neck and a lithe figure, whose outlines were beautifully relieved against the great glow of the open window;and I could have wished that some one else might have seen her at that moment--some one very different from an aged housekeeper, a schoolmistress frizzled like a sheep, and this old humbug of an archivist and paleographer.
