Exit Re-enter MALVOLIO MALVOLIO Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were sick; he takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? he's fortified against any denial. OLIVIA Tell him he shall not speak with me. MALVOLIO Has been told so; and he says, he'll stand at your door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter to a bench, but he'll speak with you. OLIVIA What kind o' man is he? MALVOLIO Why, of mankind. OLIVIA What manner of man? MALVOLIO Of very ill manner; he'll speak with you, will you or no. OLIVIA Of what personage and years is he? MALVOLIO Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a cooling when 'tis almost an apple: 'tis with him in standing water, between boy and man. He is very well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly; one would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him. OLIVIA Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman. MALVOLIO Gentlewoman, my lady calls.
Exit Re-enter MARIA OLIVIA Give me my veil: come, throw it o'er my face.
We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.
Enter VIOLA, and Attendants VIOLA The honourable lady of the house, which is she? OLIVIA Speak to me; I shall answer for her.
Your will? VIOLA Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty,--I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her: I would be loath to cast away my speech, for besides that it is excellently well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage. OLIVIA Whence came you, sir? VIOLA I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in my speech. OLIVIA Are you a comedian? VIOLA No, my profound heart: and yet, by the very fangs of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house? OLIVIA If I do not usurp myself, I am. VIOLA Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself; for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. But this is from my commission: I will on with my speech in your praise, and then show you the heart of my message. OLIVIA Come to what is important in't: I forgive you the praise. VIOLA Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis poetical. OLIVIA It is the more like to be feigned: I pray you, keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates, and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone; if you have reason, be brief: 'tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue. MARIA Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your way. VIOLA No, good swabber; I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady. Tell me your mind: I am a messenger. OLIVIA Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office. VIOLA It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage: I hold the olive in my hand; my words are as fun of peace as matter. OLIVIA Yet you began rudely. What are you? what would you? VIOLA The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I learned from my entertainment. What I am, and what I would, are as secret as maidenhead; to your ears, divinity, to any other's, profanation. OLIVIA Give us the place alone: we will hear this divinity.
Exeunt MARIA and Attendants Now, sir, what is your text? VIOLA Most sweet lady,-- OLIVIA A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it.
