Here we found Lieut.-Colonel Baron Schwarzer, a perfectly worthy man, who was highly interested in our behalf, and who blamed the irregular arbitrary conduct of Captain Capi. I frankly related my adventures, and he used every possible argument to persuade me, instead of continuing my journey through Poland to go to Vienna, but in vain; my good genius, this time, preserved me--would to God it ever had! How many miseries had I then avoided, and how easily might I have escaped the snares spread for me by the powerful, who have seized on my property, and in order to secure it, have hitherto rendered me useless to the state by depriving me of all post or preferment.
I returned, therefore, a second time to Beilitz, travelling these four miles once more. Schwarzer lent us his own horse and four ducats, which I have since repaid, but which I shall never forget, as they were of signal service to me, and procured me a pair of new boots.
Irritated against Captain Capi, we passed through Beilitz without stopping, went immediately to Biala, the first town in Poland, and from thence sent Capi a challenge to fight me, with sword or pistol, but received no answer; and his non-appearance has ever confirmed him in my opinion a rascal.
And here suffer me to take a retrospective view of what was my then situation. By the orders of Capi I was sent prisoner as a contemptible common deserter, and was unable to call him to account.
In Poland, indeed, I had that power, but was despised as a vagabond because of my poverty. What, alas! are the advantages which the love of honour, science, courage, or desire of fame can bestow, wanting the means that should introduce us to, and bid us walk erect in the presence of our equals? Youth depressed by poverty, is robbed of the society of those who best can afford example and instruction. I had lived familiar with the great, men of genius had formed and enlightened me; I had been enumerated among the favourites of a court; and now was I a stranger, unknown, unesteemed, nay, condemned, obliged to endure the extremes of cold, hunger, and thirst; to wander many a weary mile, suffering both in body and mind, while every step led me farther from her whom most Iloved, and dearest; yet had I no fixed plan, no certain knowledge in what these my labours and sufferings should end.
I was too proud to discover myself; and, indeed, to whom could Idiscover myself in a strange land? My name might have availed me in Austria, but in Austria, where this name was known, would I not remain; rather than seek my fortune there, I was determined to shun whatever might tend to render me suspicious in the eyes of my country. How liable was a temper so ardent as mine, in the midst of difficulties, fatigues, and disappointments, hard to endure, to betray me into all those errors of which rash youth, unaccustomed to hardship, impatient of contrariety, are so often guilty! But I had taken my resolution, and my faithful Schell, to whom hunger or ease, contempt or fame, for my sake, were become indifferent, did whatever I desired.
Once more to my journal.
Feb. 1.--We proceeded four miles from Biala to Oswintzen, I having determined to ask aid from my sister, who had married Waldow, and lived much at her case on a fine estate at Hanmer, in Brandenburg, between Lansberg, on the Warta and Meseritsch, a frontier town of Poland. For this reason we continued our route all along the Silesian confines to Meseritsch.
Feb. 2.--To Bobrek and Elkusch, five miles. We suffered much this day because of the snow, and that the lightness of our dress was ill suited to such severe weather. Schell, negligently, lost our purse, in which were nine florins. I had still, however, nineteen grosch in my pocket (about half-a-crown).
Feb. 3.--To Crumelew, three miles; and Feb. 4.--To Wladowiegud Joreck, three miles more; and from thence, on.
Feb. 5.--To Czenstochowa, where there is a magnificent convent, concerning which, had I room, I might write many remarkable things, much to the disgrace of its inhabitants.
We slept at an inn kept by a very worthy man, whose name was Lazar.
He had been a lieutenant in the Austrian service, where he had suffered much, and was now become a poor innkeeper in Poland. We had not a penny in our purse, and requested a bit of bread. The generous man had compassion on us, and desired us to sit down and eat with himself. I then told him who we were, and trusted him with the motives of our journey. Scarcely had we supped, before a carriage arrived with three people. They had their own horses, a servant and a coachman.
This is a remarkable incident, and I must relate it circumstantially, though as briefly as possible.
We had before met this carriage at Elkusch, and one of these people had asked Schell where we were going; he had replied, to Czenstochowa; we therefore had not the least suspicion of them, notwithstanding the danger we ran.
They lay at the inn, saluted us, but with indifference, not seeming to notice us, and spoke little. We had not been long in bed, before our host came to awaken us, and told us with surprise, these pretended merchants were sent to arrest us from Prussia; that they had offered, first, fifty, afterwards, a hundred ducats, if he would permit them to take us in his house, and carry us into Silesia: that he had firmly rejected the proposal, though they had increased their promises: and that at last they had given him six ducats to engage his silence.
