登陆注册
5582600000057

第57章 WORK WITHOUT HOPE(2)

'I will never mention Milvain's name again,' said Amy coldly.

'Now that's ridiculous, and you know it.'

'I feel the same about your irritation. I can't see that I have given any cause for it.'

'Then we'll talk no more of the matter.'

Reardon threw his manuscript aside and opened a book. Amy never asked him to resume his intention of reading what he had written.

However, the paper was accepted. It came out in The Wayside for March, and Reardon received seven pounds ten for it. By that time he had written another thing of the same gossipy kind, suggested by Pliny's Letters. The pleasant occupation did him good, but there was no possibility of pursuing this course. 'Margaret Home'

would be published in April; he might get the five-and-twenty pounds contingent upon a certain sale, yet that could in no case be paid until the middle of the year, and long before then he would be penniless. His respite drew to an end.

But now he took counsel of no one; as far as it was possible he lived in solitude, never seeing those of his acquaintances who were outside the literary world, and seldom even his colleagues.

Milvain was so busy that he had only been able to look in twice or thrice since Christmas, and Reardon nowadays never went to Jasper's lodgings.

He had the conviction that all was over with the happiness of his married life, though how the events which were to express this ruin would shape themselves he could not foresee. Amy was revealing that aspect of her character to which he had been blind, though a practical man would have perceived it from the first; so far from helping him to support poverty, she perhaps would even refuse to share it with him. He knew that she was slowly drawing apart; already there was a divorce between their minds, and he tortured himself in uncertainty as to how far he retained her affections. A word of tenderness, a caress, no longer met with response from her; her softest mood was that of mere comradeship. All the warmth of her nature was expended upon the child; Reardon learnt how easy it is for a mother to forget that both parents have a share in her offspring.

He was beginning to dislike the child. But for Willie's existence Amy would still love him with undivided heart; not, perhaps, so passionately as once, but still with lover's love. And Amy understoed --or, at all events, remarked--this change in him.

She was aware that he seldom asked a question about Willie, and that he listened with indifference when she spoke of the little fellow's progress. In part offended, she was also in part pleased.

But for the child, mere poverty, he said to himself, should never have sundered them. In the strength of his passion he could have overcome all her disappointments; and, indeed, but for that new care, he would most likely never have fallen to this extremity of helplessness. It is natural in a weak and sensitive man to dream of possibilities disturbed by the force of circumstance. For one hour which he gave to conflict with his present difficulties, Reardon spent many in contemplation of the happiness that might have been.

Even yet, it needed but a little money to redeem all. Amy had no extravagant aspirations; a home of simple refinement and freedom from anxiety would restore her to her nobler self. How could he find fault with her? She knew nothing of such sordid life as he had gone through, and to lack money for necessities seemed to her degrading beyond endurance. Why, even the ordinary artisan's wife does not suffer such privations as hers at the end of the past year. For lack of that little money his life must be ruined. Of late he had often thought about the rich uncle, John Yule, who might perhaps leave something to Amy; but the hope was so uncertain. And supposing such a thing were to happen; would it be perfectly easy to live upon his wife's bounty--perhaps exhausting a small capital, so that, some years hence, their position would be no better than before? Not long ago, he could have taken anything from Amy's hand; would it be so simple since the change that had come between them?

Having written his second magazine-article (it was rejected by two editors, and he had no choice but to hold it over until sufficient time had elapsed to allow of his again trying The Wayside), he saw that he must perforce plan another novel. But this time he was resolute not to undertake three volumes. The advertisements informed him that numbers of authors were abandoning that procrustean system; hopeless as he was, he might as well try his chance with a book which could be written in a few weeks. And why not a glaringly artificial story with a sensational title? It could not be worse than what he had last written.

So, without a word to Amy, he put aside his purely intellectual work and began once more the search for a 'plot.' This was towards the end of February. The proofs of 'Margaret Home' were coming in day by day; Amy had offered to correct them, but after all he preferred to keep his shame to himself as long as possible, and with a hurried reading he dismissed sheet after sheet. His imagination did not work the more happily for this repugnant task; still, he hit at length upon a conception which seemed absurd enough for the purpose before him. Whether he could persevere with it even to the extent of one volume was very doubtful. But it should not be said of him that he abandoned his wife and child to penury without one effort of the kind that Milvain and Amy herself had recommended.

Writing a page or two of manuscript daily, and with several holocausts to retard him, he had done nearly a quarter of the story when there came a note from Jasper telling of Mrs Milvain's death. He handed it across the breakfast-table to Amy, and watched her as she read it.

'I suppose it doesn't alter his position,' Amy remarked, without much interest.

'I suppose not appreciably. He told me once his mother had a sufficient income; but whatever she leaves will go to his sisters, I should think. He has never said much to me.'

同类推荐
  • 山至数

    山至数

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 旗军志

    旗军志

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 洞玄灵宝无量度人经诀音义

    洞玄灵宝无量度人经诀音义

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 劝孝歌

    劝孝歌

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说自誓三昧经

    佛说自誓三昧经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 我和你来日方长

    我和你来日方长

    第一天认识莫向北,我就知道他与我不是同一个世界的人。衣着光鲜、背景深厚,以及与身俱来的优越感,都是我企望不及的;所以我一步步地退,但他却一步步地逼近,终于还是将我逼进了死胡同。在白日光下,我仰头对他说:我们就到这里吧。以为终于可以回归自己的平静,却没想只是换了一盘棋重新博弈。再见哪里还是昔日的他,深沉、危险而又狡猾,就像一匹阴冷的狼,他要令我除了他的怀抱,走投无路!--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 万界魔音

    万界魔音

    新书《都市魔王奶爸》,《魔法科技大洪流》已经连载,希望各位看官支持!更新一下短视频软件,发现短视频不一样了,那些发短视频的竟然变成了各个世界的主角,于是我跟着萧炎学斗气,跟着鸣人学忍术,跟着叶音竹学琴系魔法,跟着路飞学习霸气……然后傲笑都市……做个腹黑的救世主……
  • 嘉兴退庵断愚智禅师语录

    嘉兴退庵断愚智禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 我有无数个蛋

    我有无数个蛋

    在未知的世界,拥有许多事的蛋,这些蛋都不知道被孵化出什么生物。有恐龙有恐龙,有蛇。可能还是一条去吗或者是一个巨大的飞行鸟类,顺带提升一下魔法。这些都是辅助的职业,自身的实力才是关键。可种职业相互碰撞擦出火花。火花,连连续续。这是一个怪异的的世界。
  • 开始盗墓的日子

    开始盗墓的日子

    为了救下一名身穿古代服饰的孩子,吉灵灵在经历了一场离奇的车祸之后,竟然成为了一名孤儿。父母亲坚称他们没有生育过吉灵灵,她顿时变成了一名孤儿流离失所。随后,吉灵灵陷入了一场又一场奇异的事情当中,更与自己的顶头上司魏旭有了交集。众人皆以为吉灵灵成功地捕获了大帅哥魏旭的心,可却没有想到,魏旭只是让吉灵灵与他一同下墓。“魏先生,我不下墓,”吉灵灵开口拒绝道。“吉灵灵,你以为你可以说个不字吗,”魏旭丢过来一个凌厉的眼神。吉灵灵叹了一口气之后,只能乖乖地跟了上去……推荐新书〈抓个公子当夫君〉
  • 25分之1秒的智慧:当心被自己出卖

    25分之1秒的智慧:当心被自己出卖

    《1/25秒的智慧——当心被自己出卖》一书是由哈尔滨出版社出版的“微表情心理学”丛书中的一本。《1/25秒的智慧——当心被自己出卖》是站在保护自己和完善自己的角度,意在帮助读者弄清楚在社交活动中究竟哪些表情和动作会出卖我们的内心想法,并提醒读者注意,在今后的社交中如何少做或不做出类似的表情和动作,从而不把我们的内心想法展露给对方。相反,我们可以通过这本书的介绍学着去洞悉别人的心理活动,从而在社交活动中掌握主动权。
  • 捧你入我心怀

    捧你入我心怀

    16岁的单七七再一次遇到了她的白马王子“我们一定一定要幸福下去”“好”没有很多华丽的辞藻,却让单七七的心异常的感到了一种安全感,是只有易明辰才能带来的一种安全感。…………“七七,起床了”“七七,吃饭了”“七七,去看下宝宝吧”“七七,起来了吗”易明辰在宠妻的路上走的越来越远。一生一世一双人幸福。单七七,一个重生归来自带光环的女主。易明辰,无论任何时间任何地点依旧那么优秀的男主。看我们的男神是如何宠妻的吧(男女主双双重生,但重生的时间不一样)
  • 网游之老子是枭雄

    网游之老子是枭雄

    电竞大神被俱乐部解约,签下巨额违约金。他该何去何从?没有账号卡的他应该怎么杀回联盟赛?大神重返巅峰的故事。
  • 千金归来:重生复仇天使

    千金归来:重生复仇天使

    她是众人眼中的天使,温柔如水,待人和善。她也是警方眼中的恶魔,杀人如麻,不折手段。上一世至亲的背叛,‘妹妹’的陷害,宁愿让她这个亲生女儿遭受奸人的侮辱死去,也不愿让他们没有血缘的干女儿有半分伤害。所以重生后她发誓,这一生她也要做天使,她要做那个明明是罪愧祸首杀人如麻,却依旧让人喜欢谅解的黑天使。
  • 神医弃妃传

    神医弃妃传

    顾幽罗,她是亡国公主,一生经历坎坷,有过三个男人,第一个让她国破家亡是仇人,第二个让她刻骨铭心,永记心间,是爱人,第三个则是她最终的归宿,也是她一生的挚爱是夫妻。拜师学医,成就一代毒后。进入后宫,只为复仇,但却爱上了她的仇人,并且成为史上最狠辣的皇妃……步步陷阱,步步惊心,看她如何步步为营,统领后宫,最后凤临天下。--情节虚构,请勿模仿