A Brilliant Epigram All through the winter, the wise, practical, philanthropic, fat persons whom the people of Mugsborough had elected to manage their affairs - or whom they permitted to manage them without being elected - continued to grapple, or to pretend to grapple, with the `problem' of unemployment and poverty.They continued to hold meetings, rummage and jumble sales, entertainments and special services.They continued to distribute the rotten cast-off clothing and boots, and the nourishment tickets.They were all so sorry for the poor, especially for the `dear little children'.They did all sorts of things to help the children.In fact, there was nothing that they would not do for them except levy a halfpenny rate.It would never do to do that.It might pauperize the parents and destroy parental responsibility.They evidently thought that it would be better to destroy the health or even the lives of the `dear little children' than to pauperize the parents or undermine parental responsibility.These people seemed to think that the children were the property of their parents.They did not have sense enough to see that the children are not the property of their parents at all, but the property of the community.When they attain to manhood and womanhood they will be, if mentally or physically inefficient, a burden on the community; if they become criminals, they will prey upon the community, and if they are healthy, educated and brought up in good surroundings, they will become useful citizens, able to render valuable service, not merely to their parents, but to the community.
Therefore the children are the property of the community, and it is the business and to the interest of the community to see that their constitutions are not undermined by starvation.The Secretary of the local Trades Council, a body formed of delegates from all the different trades unions in the town, wrote a letter to the Obscurer, setting forth this view.He pointed out that a halfpenny rate in that town would produce a sum of ?00, which would be more than sufficient to provide food for all the hungry schoolchildren.In the next issue of the paper several other letters appeared from leading citizens, including, of course, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum and Grinder, ridiculing the proposal of the Trades Council, who were insultingly alluded to as `pothouse politicians', `beer-sodden agitators' and so forth.Their right to be regarded as representatives of the working men was denied, and Grinder, who, having made inquiries amongst working men, was acquainted with the facts, stated that there was scarcely one of the local branches of the trades unions which had more than a dozen members; and as Grinder's statement was true, the Secretary was unable to contradict it.The majority of the working men were also very indignant when they heard about the Secretary's letter: they said the rates were quite high enough as it was, and they sneered at him for presuming to write to the papers at all:
`Who the bloody 'ell was 'e?' they said.`'E was not a Gentleman! 'Ewas only a workin' man the same as themselves - a common carpenter!
What the 'ell did 'e know about it? Nothing.'E was just trying to make 'isself out to be Somebody, that was all.The idea of one of the likes of them writing to the papers!'
One day, having nothing better to do, Owen was looking at some books that were exposed for sale on a table outside a second-hand furniture shop.One book in particular took his attention: he read several pages with great interest, and regretted that he had not the necessary sixpence to buy it.The title of the book was: Consumption: Its Causes and Its Cure.The author was a well-known physician who devoted his whole attention to the study of that disease.Amongst other things, the book gave rules for the feeding of delicate children, and there were also several different dietaries recommended for adult persons suffering from the disease.One of these dietaries amused him very much, because as far as the majority of those who suffer from consumption are concerned, the good doctor might just as well have prescribed a trip to the moon:
`Immediately on waking in the morning, half a pint of milk - this should be hot, if possible - with a small slice of bread and butter.
`At breakfast: half a pint of milk, with coffee, chocolate, or oatmeal: eggs and bacon, bread and butter, or dry toast.
`At eleven o'clock: half a pint of milk with an egg beaten up in it or some beef tea and bread and butter.
`At one o'clock: half a pint of warm milk with a biscuit or sandwich.
`At two o'clock: fish and roast mutton, or a mutton chop, with as much fat as possible: poultry, game, etc., may be taken with vegetables, and milk pudding.
`At five o'clock: hot milk with coffee or chocolate, bread and butter, watercress, etc.
`At eight o'clock: a pint of milk, with oatmeal or chocolate, and gluten bread, or two lightly boiled eggs with bread and butter.
`Before retiring to rest: a glass of warm milk.
`During the night: a glass of milk with a biscuit or bread and butter should be placed by the bedside and be eaten if the patient awakes.'
Whilst Owen was reading this book, Crass, Harlow, Philpot and Easton were talking together on the other side of the street, and presently Crass caught sight of him.They had been discussing the Secretary's letter re the halfpenny rate, and as Owen was one of the members of the Trades Council, Crass suggested that they should go across and tackle him about it.
`How much is your house assessed at?' asked Owen after listening for about a quarter of an hour to Crass's objection.
`Fourteen pound,' replied Crass.
`That means that you would have to pay sevenpence per year if we had a halfpenny rate.Wouldn't it be worth sevenpence a year to you to know that there were no starving children in the town?'
`Why should I 'ave to 'elp to keep the children of a man who's too lazy to work, or spends all 'is money on drink?' shouted Crass.`'Ow are yer goin' to make out about the likes o' them?'
