I had almost forgot (it was Edmund's fault,he gets into my head more than does me good)one very material thing I had to say from Henry and myself,I mean about our taking you back into Northamptonshire.My dear little creature,do not stay at Portsmouth to lose your pretty looks.Those vile sea-breezes are the ruin of beauty and health.My poor aunt always felt affected,if within ten miles of the sea,which the Admiral of course never believed,but I know it was so.I am at your service and Henry's,at an hour's notice.I should like the scheme,and we would make a little circuit,and show you Everingham in our way,and perhaps you would not mind passing through London,and seeing the inside of St George's,Hanover Square.Only keep your cousin Edmund from me at such a time,I should not like to be tempted.What a long letter!-one word more.Henry I find has some idea of going into Norfolk again upon some business that you approve,but this cannot possibly be permitted before the middle of next week,that is,he cannot any how be spared till after the 14th,for we have a party that evening.The value of a man like Henry on such an occasion,is what you can have no conception of;so you must take it upon my word,to be inestimable.He will see the Rushworths,which,own I am not sorry for-having a little curiosity-and so I think has he,though he will not acknowledge it.
This was a letter to be run through eagerly,to be read deliberately,to supply matter for much reflection,and to leave everything in greater suspense than ever.The only certainty to be drawn from it was,that nothing decisive had yet taken place.Edmund had not yet spoken.How Miss Crawford really felt-how she meant to act,or might act without or against her meaning-whether his importance to her were quite what it had been before the last separation-whether if lessened it were likely to lessen more,or to recover itself,were subjects for endless conjecture,and to be thought of on that day and many days to come,without producing any conclusion.The idea that returned the oftenest,was that Miss Crawford,after proving herself cooled and staggered by a return to London habits,would yet prove herself in the end too much attached to him,to give him up.She would try to be more ambitious than her heart would allow.She would hesitate,she would tease,she would condition,she would require a great deal,but she would finally accept.This was Fanny's most frequent expectation.A house in town!-That she thought must be impossible.Yet there was no saying what Miss Crawford might not ask.The prospect for her cousin grew worse and worse.The woman who could speak of him,and speak only of his appearance!-What an unworthy attachment!To be deriving support from the commendations of Mrs Fraser!She who had known him intimately half a year!Fanny was ashamed of her.Those parts of the letter which related only to Mr Crawford and herself,touched her in comparison,slightly.Whether Mr Crawford went into Norfolk before or after the 14th,was certainly no concern of hers,though,everything considered,she thought he would go without delay.That Miss Crawford should endeavour to secure a meeting between him and Mrs Rushworth,was all in her worst line of conduct,and grossly unkind and ill-judged;but she hoped he would not be actuated by any such degrading curiosity.He acknowledged no such inducement,and his sister ought to have given him credit for better feelings than her own.
She was yet more impatient for another letter from town after receiving this,than she had been before;and for a few days,was so unsettled by it altogether,by what had come,and what might come,that her usual readings and conversation with Susan were much suspended.She could not command her attention as she wished.If Mr Crawford remembered her message to her cousin,she thought it very likely,most likely,that he would write to her at all events;it would be most consistent with his usual kindness,and till she got rid of this idea,till it gradually wore off,by no letters appearing in the course of three or four days more,she was in a most restless,anxious state.
At length,a something like composure succeeded.Suspense must be submitted to,and must not be allowed to wear her out,and make her useless.Time did something,her own exertions something more,and she resumed her attentions to Susan,and again awakened the same interest in them.
Susan was growing very fond of her,and though without any of the early delight in books,which had been so strong in Fanny,with a disposition much less inclined to sedentary pursuits,or to information for information's sake,she had so strong a desire of not appearing ignorant,as with a good clear understanding,made her a most attentive,profitable,thankful pupil.Fanny was her oracle.Fanny's explanations and remarks were a most important addition to every essay,or every Chapter of history.What Fanny told her of former times,dwelt more on her mind than the pages of Goldsmith;and she paid her sister the compliment of preferring her style to that of any printed author.The early habit of reading was wanting.
Their conversations,however,were not always on subjects so high as history or morals.Others had their hour;and of lesser matters,none returned so often,or remained so long between them,as Mansfield Park,a deion of the people,the manners,the amusements,the ways of Mansfield Park.Susan,who had an innate taste for the genteel and well-appointed,was eager to hear,and Fanny could not but indulge herself in dwelling on so beloved a theme.She hoped it was not wrong;though after a time,Susan's very great admiration of everything said or done in her uncle's house,and earnest longing to go into Northamptonshire,seemed almost to blame her for exciting feelings which could not be gratified.
