There is a certain class of unbelievers who sometimes ask me such questions as,if I think that I can live on vegetable food alone;and to strike at the root of the matter at once,-for the root is faith,-I am accustomed to answer such,that I can live on board nails.If they cannot understand that,they cannot understand much that I have to say.For my part,I am glad to hear of experiments of this kind being tried;as that a young man tried for a fortnight to live on hard,raw corn on the ear,using his teeth for all mortar.The squirrel tribe tried the same and succeeded.The human race is interested in these experiments,though a few old women who are incapacitated for them,or who own their thirds in mills,may be alarmed.
My furniture,part of which I made myself,-and the rest cost me nothing of which I have not rendered an account,-consisted of a bed,a table,a desk,three chairs,a looking-glass three inches in diameter,a pair of tongs and andirons,a kettle,a skillet,and a frying-pan,a dipper,a wash-bowl,two knives and forks,three plates,one cup,one spoon,a jug for oil,a jug for molasses,and a japanned lamp.None is so poor that he need sit on a pumpkin.That is shiftlessness.There is a plenty of such chairs as I like best in the village garrets to be had for taking them away.Furniture!Thank God,I can sit and I can stand without the aid of a furniture warehouse.What man but a philosopher would not be ashamed to see his furniture packed in a cart and going up country exposed to the light of heaven and the eyes of men,a beggarly account of empty boxes?That is Spaulding's furniture.I could never tell from inspecting such a load whether it belonged to a so-called rich man or a poor one;the owner always seemed poverty-stricken.Indeed,the more you have of such things the poorer you are.Each load looks as if it contained the contents of a dozen shanties;and if one shanty is poor,this is a dozen times as poor.Pray,for what do we move ever but to get rid of our furniture,our exuvi:at last to go from this world to another newly furnished,and leave this to be burned?It is the same as if all these traps were buckled to a man's belt,and he could not move over the rough country where our lines are cast without dragging them,-dragging his trap.He was a lucky fox that left his tail in the trap.The muskrat will gnaw his third leg off to be free.No wonder man has lost his elasticity.How often he is at a dead set!“Sir,if I may be so bold,what do you mean by a dead set?”If you are a seer,whenever you meet a man you will see all that he owns,ay,and much that he pretends to disown,behind him,even to his kitchen furniture and all the trumpery which he saves and will not burn,and he will appear to be harnessed to it and making what headway he can.I think that the man is at a dead set who has got through a knot-hole or gateway where his sledge load of furniture cannot follow him.I cannot but feel compassion when I hear some trig,compact-looking man,seemingly free,all girded and ready,speak of his“furniture,”as whether it is insured or not.“But what shall I do with my furniture?”My gay butterfly is entangled in a spider's web then.Even those who seem for a long while not to have any,if you inquire more narrowly you will find have some stored in somebody's barn.I look upon England to-day as an old gentleman who is travelling with a great deal of baggage,trumpery which has accumulated from long housekeeping,which he has not the courage to burn;great trunk,little trunk,bandbox,and bundle.Throw away the first three at least.It would surpass the powers of a well man nowadays to take up his bed and walk,and I should certainly advise a sick one to lay down his bed and run.When I have met an immigrant tottering under a bundle which contained his all,-looking like an enormous when which had grown out of the nape of his neck.-I have pitied him,not because that was his all,but because he had all that to carry.If I have got to drag my trap,I will take care that it be a light one and do not nip me in a vital part.But perchance it would be wisest never to put one's paw into it.
I would observe,by the way,that it costs me nothing for curtains,for I have no gazers to shut out but the sun and moon,and I am willing that they should look in.The moon will not sour milk nor taint meat of mine,nor will the sun injure my furniture or fade my carpet;and if he is sometimes too warm a friend,I find it still better economy to retreat behind some curtain which nature has provided,than to add a single item to the details of housekeeping.A lady once offered me a mat,but as I had no room to spare within the house,nor time to spare within or without to shake it,I declined it,preferring to wipe my feet on the sod before my door.It is best to avoid the beginnings of evil.
Not long since I was present at the auction of a deacon's effects,for his life had not been ineffectual:-
“The evil that men do lives after them.”
As usual,a great proportion was trumpery which had begun to accumulate in his father's day.Among the rest was a dried tapeworm.And now,after lying half a century in his garret and other dust holes,these things were not burned;instead of a bonfire,or purifying destruction of them,there was an auction,or increasing of them.The neighbors eagerly collected to view them,bought them all,and carefully transported them to their garrets and dust holes,to lie there till their estates are settled,when they will start again.When a man dies he kicks the dust.
