"Did you feel how I kissed you when you were asleep just now?" she said thickly."I'm drunk now, that's what it is....And aren't you drunk? And why isn't Mitya drinking? Why don't you drink, Mitya? I'm drunk, and you don't drink...""I am drunk! I'm drunk as it is...drunk with you...and now I'll be drunk with wine, too."He drank off another glass, and- he thought it strange himself-that glass made him completely drunk.He was suddenly drunk, although till that moment he had been quite sober, he remembered that.
From that moment everything whirled about him, as though he were delirious.He walked, laughed, talked to everybody, without knowing what he was doing.Only one persistent burning sensation made itself felt continually, "like a red-hot coal in his heart," he said afterwards.He went up to her, sat beside her, gazed at her, listened to her....She became very talkative, kept calling everyone to her, and beckoned to different girls out of the chorus.When the girl came up, she either kissed her, or made the sign of the cross over her.In another minute she might have cried.She was greatly amused by the "little old man," as she called Maximov.He ran up every minute to kiss her hands, each little finger," and finally he danced another dance to an old song, which he sang himself.He danced with special vigour to the refrain:
The little pig says- umph! umph! umph!
The little calf says- moo, moo, moo, The little duck says- quack, quack, quack, The little goose says- ga, ga, ga.
The hen goes strutting through the porch;Troo-roo-roo-roo-roo, she'll say, Troo-roo-roo-roo-roo, she'll say!
"Give him something, Mitya," said Grushenka."Give him a present, he's poor, you know.Ah, the poor, the insulted!...Do you know, Mitya, I shall go into a nunnery.No, I really shall one day.
Alyosha said something to me to-day that I shall remember all my life....Yes....But to-day let us dance.To-morrow to the nunnery, but to-day we'll dance.I want to play to-day, good people, and what of it? God will forgive us.If I were God, I'd forgive everyone: 'My dear sinners, from this day forth I forgive you.' I'm going to beg forgiveness: 'Forgive me, good people, a silly wench.' I'm a beast, that's what I am.But I want to pray.I gave a little onion.Wicked as I've been, I want to pray.Mitya, let them dance, don't stop them.
Everyone in the world is good.Everyone- even the worst of them.The world's a nice place.Though we're bad the world's all right.We're good and bad, good and bad....Come, tell me, I've something to ask you: come here everyone, and I'll ask you: Why am I so good? You know I am good.I'm very good....Come, why am I so good?"So Grushenka babbled on, getting more and more drunk.At last she announced that she was going to dance, too.She got up from her chair, staggering."Mitya, don't give me any more wine- if I ask you, don't give it to me.Wine doesn't give peace.Everything's going round, the stove, and everything.I want to dance.Let everyone see how I dance...let them see how beautifully I dance..."She really meant it.She pulled a white cambric handkerchief out of her pocket, and took it by one corner in her right hand, to wave it in the dance.Mitya ran to and fro, the girls were quiet, and got ready to break into a dancing song at the first signal.Maximov, hearing that Grushenka wanted to dance, squealed with delight, and ran skipping about in front of her, humming:
With legs so slim and sides so trim And its little tail curled tight.
But Grushenka waved her handkerchief at him and drove him away.
"Sh-h! Mitya, why don't they come? Let everyone come...to look on.Call them in, too, that were locked in....Why did you lock them in? Tell them I'm going to dance.Let them look on, too..."Mitya walked with a drunken swagger to the locked door, and began knocking to the Poles with his fist.
"Hi, you...Podvysotskis! Come, she's going to dance.She calls you.""Lajdak!" one of the Poles shouted in reply.
"You're a lajdak yourself! You're a little scoundrel, that's what you are.""Leave off laughing at Poland," said Kalganov sententiously.He too was drunk.
"Be quiet, boy! If I call him a scoundrel, it doesn't mean that I called all Poland so.One lajdak doesn't make a Poland.Be quiet, my pretty boy, eat a sweetmeat.""Ach, what fellows! As though they were not men.Why won't they make friends?" said Grushenka, and went forward to dance.The chorus broke into "Ah, my porch, my new porch!" Grushenka flung back her head, half opened her lips, smiled, waved her handkerchief, and suddenly, with a violent lurch, stood still in the middle of the room, looking bewildered.
"I'm weak..." she said in an exhausted voice."Forgive me....
I'm weak, I can't....I'm sorry."
She bowed to the chorus, and then began bowing in all directions.
"I'm sorry....Forgive me..."
"The lady's been drinking.The pretty lady has been drinking,"voices were heard saying.
"The lady's drunk too much," Maximov explained to the girls, giggling.
"Mitya, lead me away...take me," said Grushenka helplessly.Mitya pounced on her, snatched her up in his arms, and carried the precious burden through the curtains.
"Well, now I'll go," thought Kalganov, and walking out of the blue room, he closed the two halves of the door after him.But the orgy in the larger room went on and grew louder and louder.Mitya laid Grushenka on the bed and kissed her on the lips.
"Don't touch me..." she faltered, in an imploring voice."Don't touch me, till I'm yours....I've told you I'm yours, but don't touch me...spare me....With them here, with them close, you mustn't.
He's here.It's nasty here..."
"I'll obey you! I won't think of it...I worship you!" muttered Mitya."Yes, it's nasty here, it's abominable."And still holding her in his arms, he sank on his knees by the bedside.
