However, when she found herself alone in her room for a few minutes - the last day this on which she was ever to enter it - she knelt down and prayed.She tried to pray to God, but it was her husband who really had her supplication.Her idolatry of this man was such that she herself almost feared it to be ill-omened.She was conscious of the notion expressed by Friar Laurence: `These violent delights have violent ends.' It might be too desperate for human conditions - too rank, too wild, too deadly.
`O my love, my love, why do I love you so!' she whispered there alone;`for she you love is not my real self, but one in my image; the one I might have been!'
Afternoon came, and with it the hour for departure.They had decided to fulfil the plan of going for a few days to the lodgings in the old farmhouse near Wellbridge Mill, at which he meant to reside during his investigation of flour processes.At two o'clock there was nothing left to do but to start.All the servantry of the dairy were standing in the red-brick entry to see them go out, the dairyman and his wife following to the door.Tess saw her three chamber-mates in a row against the wall, pensively inclining their heads.She had much questioned if they would appear at the parting moment; but there they were, stoical and staunch to the last.She knew why the delicate Retty looked so fragile, and Izz so tragically sorrowful, and Marian so blank; and she forgot her own dogging shadow for a moment in contemplating theirs.
She impulsively whispered to him--
`Will you kiss 'em all, once, poor things, for the first and last time?'
Clare had not the least objection to such a farewell formality - which was all that it was to him - and as he passed them he kissed them in succession where they stood, saying `Good-bye' to each as he did so.When they reached the door Tess femininely glanced back to discern the effect of that kiss of charity; there was no triumph in her glance, as there might have been.
If there had it would have disappeared when she saw how moved the girls all were.The kiss had obviously done harm by awakening feelings they were trying to subdue.
Of all this Clare was unconscious.Passing on to the wicket-gate he shook hands with the dairyman and his wife, and expressed his last thanks to them for their attentions; after which there was a moment of silence before they had moved off.It was interrupted by the crowing of a cock.
The white one with the rose comb had come and settled on the palings in front of the house, within a few yards of them, and his notes thrilled their ears through, dwindling away like echoes down a valley of rocks.
`Oh?' said Mrs Crick.`An afternoon crow!'
Two men were standing by the yard gate, holding it open.
`That's bad,' one murmured to the other, not thinking that the words could be heard by the group at the door-wicket.
The cock crew again - straight towards Clare.
`Well!' said the dairyman.
`I don't like to hear him!' said Tess to her husband.`Tell the man to drive on.Good-bye, good-bye!'
The cock crew again.
`Hoosh! just you be off, sir, or I'll twist your neck!' said the dairyman with some irritation, turning to the bird and driving him away.And to his wife as they went indoors: `Now, to think o' that just to-day! I've not heard his crow of an afternoon all the year afore.'
`It only means a change in the weather,' said she; `not what you think:
'tis impossible!'
Chapter 34 They drove by the level road along the valley to a distance of a few miles, and, reaching Wellbridge, turned away from the village to the left, and over the great Elizabethan bridge which gives the place half its name.
Immediately behind it stood the house wherein they had engaged lodgings, whose exterior features are so well known to all travellers through the Froom Valley; once portion of a fine manorial residence, and the property and seat of a d'Urberville, but since its partial demolition a farm-house.
`Welcome to one of your ancestral mansions!' said Clare as he handed her down.But he regretted the pleasantry; it was too near a satire.
On entering they found that, though they had only engaged a couple of rooms, the farmer had taken advantage of their proposed presence during the coming days to pay a New Year's visit to some friends, leaving a woman from a neighbouring cottage to minister to their few wants.The absoluteness of possession pleased them, and they realized it as the first moment of their experience under their own exclusive roof-tree.
But he found that the mouldy old habitation somewhat depressed his bride.
When the carriage was gone they ascended the stairs to wash their hands, the charwoman showing the way.On the landing Tess stopped and started.
`What's the matter?' said he.
`Those horrid women!' she answered, with a smile.`How they frightened me.'
He looked up, and perceived two life-size portraits on panels built into the masonry.As all visitors to the mansion are aware, these paintings represent women of middle age, of a date some two hundred years ago, whose lineaments once seen can never be forgotten.The long pointed features, narrow eye, and smirk of the one, so suggestive of merciless treachery;the bill-hook nose, large teeth, and bold eye of the other, suggesting arrogance to the point of ferocity, haunt the beholder afterwards in his dreams.
`Whose portraits are those?' asked Clare of the charwoman.
`I have been told by old folk that they were ladies of the d'Urberville family, the ancient lords of this manor,' she said.`Owing to their being builded into the wall they can't be moved away.'
The unpleasantness of the matter was that, in addition to their effect upon Tess, her fine features were unquestionably traceable in these exaggerated forms.He said nothing of this, however, and, regretting that he had gone out of his way to choose the house for their bridal time, went on into the adjoining room.The place having been rather hastily prepared for them they washed their hands in one basin.Clare touched hers under the water.
