It was just about this time that Crass, after due consultation with several of the others, including Philpot, Harlow, Bundy, Slyme, Easton and the Semi-drunk, decided to call a meeting of the hands for the purpose of considering the advisability of holding the usual Beano later on in the summer.The meeting was held in the carpenter's shop down at the yard one evening at six o'clock, which allowed time for those interested to attend after leaving work.
The hands sat on the benches or carpenter's stools, or reclined upon heaps of shavings.On a pair of tressels in the centre of the workshop stood a large oak coffin which Crass had just finished polishing.
When all those who were expected to turn up had arrived, Payne, the foreman carpenter - the man who made the coffins - was voted to the chair on the proposition of Crass, seconded by Philpot, and then a solemn silence ensued, which was broken at last by the chairman, who, in a lengthy speech, explained the object of the meeting.Possibly with a laudable desire that there should be no mistake about it, he took the trouble to explain several times, going over the same ground and repeating the same words over and over again, whilst the audience waited in a deathlike and miserable silence for him to leave off.
Payne, however, did not appear to have any intention of leaving off, for he continued, like a man in a trance, to repeat what he had said before, seeming to be under the impression that he had to make a separate explanation to each individual member of the audience.At last the crowd could stand it no longer, and began to shout `Hear, hear' and to bang bits of wood and hammers on the floor and the benches; and then, after a final repetition of the statement, that the object of the meeting was to consider the advisability of holding an outing, or beanfeast, the chairman collapsed on to a carpenter's stool and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Crass then reminded the meeting that the last year's Beano had been an unqualified success, and for his part he would be very sorry if they did not have one this year.Last year they had four brakes, and they went to Tubberton Village.
It was true that there was nothing much to see at Tubberton, but there was one thing they could rely on getting there that they could not be sure of getting for the same money anywhere else, and that was - a good feed.(Applause.) Just for the sake of getting on with the business, he would propose that they decide to go to Tubberton, and that a committee be appointed to make arrangements - about the dinner -with the landlord of the Queen Elizabeth's Head at that place.
Philpot seconded the motion, and Payne was about to call for a show of hands when Harlow rose to a point of order.It appeared to him that they were getting on a bit too fast.The proper way to do this business was first to take the feeling of the meeting as to whether they wished to have a Beano at all, and then, if the meeting was in favour of it, they could decide where they were to go, and whether they would have a whole day or only half a day.
The Semi-drunk said that he didn't care a dreadful expression where they went: he was willing to abide by the decision of the majority.
(Applause.) It was a matter of indifference to him whether they had a day, or half a day, or two days; he was agreeable to anything.
Easton suggested that a special saloon carriage might be engaged, and they could go and visit Madame Tussaud's Waxworks.He had never been to that place and had often wished to see it.But Philpot objected that if they went there, Madame Tussaud's might be unwilling to let them out again.
Bundy endorsed the remarks that had fallen from Crass with reference to Tubberton.He did not care where they went, they would never get such a good spread for the money as they did last year at the Queen Elizabeth.(Cheers.)The chairman said that.he remembered the last Beano very well.They had half a day - left off work on Saturday at twelve instead of one -so there was only one hour's wages lost - they went home, had a wash and changed their clothes, and got up to the Cricketers, where the brakes was waiting, at one.Then they had the two hours' drive to Tubberton, stopping on the way for drinks at the Blue Lion, the Warrior's Head, the Bird in Hand, the Dewdrop Inn and the World Turned Upside Down.(Applause.) They arrived at the Queen Elizabeth at three-thirty, and the dinner was ready; and it was one of the finest blow-outs he had ever had.(Hear, hear.) There was soup, vegetables, roast beef, roast mutton, lamb and mint sauce, plum duff, Yorkshire, and a lot more.The landlord of the Elizabeth kept as good a drop of beer as anyone could wish to drink, and as for the teetotallers, they could have tea, coffee or ginger beer.
Having thus made another start, Payne found it very difficult to leave off, and was proceeding to relate further details of the last Beano when Harlow again rose up from his heap of shavings and said he wished to call the chairman to order.(Hear, hear.) What the hell was the use of all this discussion before they h&d even decided to have a Beano at all! Was the meeting in favour of a Beano or not? That was the question.
A prolonged and awkward silence followed.Everyone was very uncomfortable, looking stolidly on the ground or staring straight in front of them.
At last Easton broke the silence by suggesting that it would not be a bad plan if someone was to make a motion that a Beano be held.This was greeted with a general murmur of `Hear, hear,' followed by another awkward pause, and then the chairman asked Easton if he would move a resolution to that effect.After some hesitation, Easton agreed, and formally moved: `That this meeting is in favour of a Beano.'
