The rest of Nic.'s fetches to keep John out of Ecclesdown Castle.** Attempts to hinder the cessation, and taking possession of Dunkirk.
When Nic. could not dissuade John by argument, he tried to move his pity; he pretended to be sick and like to die; that he should leave his wife and children in a starving condition, if John did abandon him; that he was hardly able to crawl about the room, far less capable to look after such a troublesome business as this lawsuit, and therefore begged that his good friend would not leave him. When he saw that John was still inexorable, he pulled out a case-knife, with which he used to snicker-snee, and threatened to cut his own throat. Thrice he aimed the knife to his windpipe with a most determined threatening air. "What signifies life," quoth he, "in this languishing condition? It will be some pleasure that my friends will revenge my death upon this barbarous man that has been the cause of it." All this while John looked sedate and calm, neither offering in the least to snatch the knife, nor stop his blow, trusting to the tenderness Nic. had for his own person. When he perceived that John was immovable in his purpose, he applied himself to Lewis.
"Art thou," quoth he, "turned bubble in thy old age, from being a sharper in thy youth? What occasion hast thou to give up Ecclesdown Castle to John Bull? His friendship is not worth a rush. Give it me, and I'll make it worth thy while. If thou dislikest that proposition, keep it thyself; I'd rather thou shouldst have it than he. If thou hearkenest not to my advice, take what follows; Esquire South and I will go on with our lawsuit in spite of John Bull's teeth."LEWIS BABOON.--Monsieur Bull has used me like a gentleman, and I am resolved to make good my promise, and trust him for the consequences.
NIC. FROG.--Then I tell thee thou art an old doating fool.--With that Nic. bounced up with a spring equal to that of one of your nimblest tumblers or rope-dancers, and fell foul upon John Bull, to snatch the cudgel* he had in his hand, that he might thwack Lewis with it: John held it fast so that there was no wrenching it from him. At last Squire South buckled to, to assist his friend Nic.:
John hauled on one side, and they two on the other. Sometimes they were like to pull John over, then it went all of a sudden again on John's side, so they went see-sawing up and down, from one end of the room to the other. Down tumbled the tables, bottles, glasses, and tobacco-pipes; the wine and the tobacco were all spilt about the room, and the little fellows were almost trod under foot, till more of the tradesmen joining with Nic. and the Squire, John was hardly able to pull against then all, yet would he never quit hold of his trusty cudgel: which by the contrary force of two so great powers broke short in his hands.** Nic. seized the longer end, and with it began to bastinado old Lewis, who had slunk into a corner, waiting the event of this squabble. Nic. came up to him with an insolent menacing air, so that the old fellow was forced to scuttle out of the room, and retire behind a dung-cart. He called to Nic., "Thou insolent jackanapes, time was when thou durst not have used me so;thou now takest me unprovided; but, old and infirm as I am, I shall find a weapon by-and-by to chastise thy impudence."* The army.
** The separation of the army.
When John Bull had recovered his breath, he began to parley with Nic.: "Friend Nic., I am glad to find thee so strong after thy great complaints; really thy motions, Nic., are pretty vigorous for a consumptive man. As for thy worldly affairs, Nic., if it can do thee any service, I freely make over to thee this profitable lawsuit, and I desire all these gentlemen to bear witness to this my act and deed. Yours be all the gain, as mine has been the charges.
I have brought it to bear finely: however, all I have laid out upon it goes for nothing--thou shalt have it with all its appurtenances;I ask nothing but leave to go home."
NIC. FROG.--The counsel are fee'd, and all things prepared for a trial; thou shalt be forced to stand the issue; it shall be pleaded in thy name as well as mine. Go home if thou canst; the gates are shut, the turnpikes locked, and the roads barricaded.** Difficulty of the march of part of the army to Dunkirk.
JOHN BULL.--Even these very ways, Nic., that thou toldest me were as open to me as thyself, if I can't pass with my own equipage, what can I expect for my goods and wagons? I am denied passage through those very grounds that I have purchased with my own money.
However, I am glad I have made the experiment; it may serve me in some stead.
John Bull was so overjoyed that he was going to take possession of Ecclesdown, that nothing could vex him. "Nic.," quoth he, "I am just a-going to leave thee; cast a kind look upon me at parting."Nic. looked sour and glum, and would not open his mouth.
JOHN BULL.--I wish thee all the success that thy heart can desire, and that these honest gentlemen of the long robe may have their belly full of law.
Nic. could stand it no longer, but flung out of the room with disdain, and beckoned the lawyers to follow him.
JOHN BULL.--B'ye, b'ye, Nic,; not one poor smile at parting? won't you shake your day-day, Nic? b'ye, Nic.--With that John marched out of the common road, across the country, to take possession of Ecclesdown.
