Mrs Jennings left them earlier than usual;for she could not be easy till the Middletons and Palmers were able to grieve as much as herself;and positively refusing Elinor's offered attendance,went out alone for the rest of the morning.Elinor,with a very heavy heart,aware of the pain she was going to communicate,and perceiving by Marianne's letter how ill she had succeeded in laying any foundation for it,then sat down to write her mother an account of what had passed,and entreat her directions for the future;while Marianne,who came into the drawing-room on Mrs Jennings's going away,remained fixed at the table where Elinor wrote,watching the advancement of her pen,grieving over her for the hardship of such a task,and grieving still more fondly over its effect on her mother.
In this manner they had continued about a quarter of an hour,when Marianne,whose nerves could not then bear any sudden noise,was startled by a rap at the door.
‘Who can this be?’cried Elinor.‘So early too!I thought we had been safe.’
Marianne moved to the window.
‘It is Colonel Brandon!’said she,with vexation.‘We are never safe from him.’
‘He will not come in,as Mrs Jennings is from home.’
‘I will not trust to that,’retreating to her own room.‘A man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others.’
The event proved her conjecture right,though it was founded on injustice and error,for Colonel Brandon did come in;and Elinor,who was convinced that solicitude for Marianne brought him thither,and who saw that solicitude in his disturbed and melancholy look,and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her,could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly.
‘I met Mrs Jennings in Bond Street,’said he,after the first salutation,‘and she encouraged me to come on;and I was the more easily encouraged,because I thought it probable that I might find you alone,which I was very desirous of doing.My object-my wish-my sole wish in desiring it-I hope,I believe it is-is to be a means of giving comfort-no,I must not say comfort-not present comfort-but conviction,lasting conviction to your sister's mind.My regard for her,for yourself,for your mother-will you allow me to prove it by relating some circumstances,which nothing but a very sincere regard-nothing but an earnest desire of being useful-I think I am justified-though where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right,is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?’He stopped.
‘I understand you,’said Elinor.‘You have something to tell me of Mr Willoughby,that will open his character farther.Your telling it will be the greatest act of friendship that can be shown Marianne.My gratitude will be insured immediately by any information tending to that end and hers must be gained by it in time.Pray,pray let me hear it.’
‘You shall;and,to be brief,when I quitted Barton last October-but this will give you no idea.I must go farther back.You will find me a very awkward narrator,Miss Dashwood;I hardly know where to begin.A short account of myself,I believe,will be necessary,and it shall be a short one.On such a subject,’sighing heavily,‘I can have little temptation to be diffuse.’
He stopped a moment for recollection,and then,with another sigh,went on.
‘You have probably entirely forgotten a conversation-(it is not to be supposed that it could make any impression on you)-a conversation between us one evening at Barton Park-it was the evening of a dance-in which I alluded to a lady I had once known,as resembling,in some measure,your sister Marianne.’
‘Indeed,’answered Elinor,‘I have not forgotten it.’He looked pleased by this remembrance,and added-
