‘I have been more pained,’said she,‘by her endeavours to acquit him than by all the rest;for it irritates her mind more than the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do.Now,though at first she will suffer much,I am sure she will soon become easier.Have you,’she continued,after a short silence,‘ever seen Mr Willoughby since you left him at Barton?’
‘Yes,’he replied gravely,‘once I have.One meeting was unavoidable.’
Elinor,startled by his manner,looked at him anxiously,saying-
‘What!have you met him to-’
‘I could meet him in no other way.Eliza had confessed to me,though most reluctantly,the name of her lover;and when he returned to town,which was within a fortnight after myself,we met by appointment,he to defend,I to punish his conduct.We returned unwounded,and the meeting,therefore,never got abroad.’
Elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this;but to a man and a soldier,she presumed not to censure it.
‘Such,’said Colonel Brandon,after a pause,‘has been the unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter!and so imperfectly have I discharged my trust!’
‘Is she still in town?’
‘No;as soon as she recovered from her lying-in,for I found her near her delivery,I removed her and her child into the country,and there she remains.’
Recollecting,soon afterwards,that he was probably dividing Elinor from her sister,he put an end to his visit,receiving from her again the same grateful acknowledgments,and leaving her full of compassion and esteem for him.
Chapter 32
When the particulars of this conversation were repeated by Miss Dashwood to her sister,as they very soon were,their effect on her was not entirely such as the former had hoped to see.Not that Marianne appeared to distrust the truth of any part of it,for she listened to it all with the most steady and submissive attention,made neither objection nor remark,attempted no vindication of Willoughby,and seemed to show by her tears that she felt it to be impossible.But though this behaviour assured Elinor that the conviction of his guilt was carried home to her mind;though she saw with satisfaction the effect of it,in her no longer avoiding Colonel Brandon when he called,in her speaking to him,even voluntarily speaking,with a kind of compassionate respect,and though she saw her spirits less violently irritated than before;she did not see her less wretched.Her mind did become settled,but it was settled in a gloomy dejection.She felt the loss of Willoughby's character yet more heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart;his seduction and desertion of Miss Williams,the misery of that poor girl,and the doubt of what his designs might once have been on herself,preyed altogether so much on her spirits,that she could not bring herself to speak of what she felt even to Elinor;and brooding over her sorrows in silence,gave more pain to her sister than could have been communicated by the most open and most frequent confession of them.
To give the feelings or the language of Mrs Dashwood on receiving and answering Elinor's letter,would be only to give a repetition of what her daughters had already felt and said;of a disappointment hardly less painful than Marianne's,and an indignation even greater than Elinor's.Long letters from her,quickly succeeding each other,arrived to tell all that she suffered and thought;to express her anxious solicitude for Marianne,and entreat she would bear up with fortitude under this misfortune.Bad indeed must the nature of Marianne's affliction be,when her mother could talk of fortitude!mortifying and humiliating must be the origin of those regrets,which she could wish her not to indulge!
Against the interest of her own individual comfort,Mrs Dashwood had determined that it would be better for Marianne to be anywhere at that time,than at Barton,where everything within her view would be bringing back the past in the strongest and most afflicting manner,by constantly placing Willoughby before her,such as she had always seen him there.She recommended it to her daughters,therefore,by all means not to shorten their visit to Mrs Jennings;the length of which,though never exactly fixed,had been expected by all to comprise at least five or six weeks.A variety of occupations,of objects,and of company,which could not be procured at Barton,would be inevitable there,and might yet,she hoped,cheat Marianne,at times,into some interest beyond herself,and even into some amusement,much as the idea of both might now be spurned by her.
From all danger of seeing Willoughby again,her mother considered her to be at least equally safe in town as in the country,since his acquaintance must now be dropped by all who called themselves her friends.Design could never bring them in each other's way;negligence could never leave them exposed to a surprise;and chance had less in its favour in the crowd of London than even in the retirement of Barton,where it might force him before her while paying that visit to Allenham on his marriage,which Mrs Dashwood,from foreseeing at first as a probable event,had brought herself to expect as a certain one.
She had yet another reason for wishing her children to remain where they were;a letter from her son-in-law had told her that he and his wife were to be in town before the middle of February,and she judged it right that they should sometimes see their brother.
Marianne had promised to be guided by her mother's opinion,and she submitted to it therefore without opposition,though it proved perfectly different from what she wished and expected,though she felt it to be entirely wrong,formed on mistaken grounds,and that by requiring her longer continuance in London it deprived her of the only possible alleviation of her wretchedness,the personal sympathy of her mother,and doomed her to such society and such scenes as must prevent her ever knowing a moment's rest.
