Poor Fanny,though going,as she did,willingly and eagerly,the last evening at Mansfield Park must still be wretchedness.Her heart was completely sad at parting.She had tears for every room in the house,much more for every beloved inhabitant.She clung to her aunt,because she would miss her;she kissed the hand of her uncle with struggling sobs,because she had displeased him;and as for Edmund,she could neither speak,nor look,nor think,when the last moment came with him,and it was not till it was over that she knew he was giving her the affectionate farewell of a brother.
All this passed overnight,for the journey was to begin very early in the morning;and when the small,diminished party met at breakfast,William and Fanny were talked of as already advanced one stage.
Chapter 38
The novelty of travelling,and the happiness of being with William,soon produced their natural effect on Fanny's spirits,when Mansfield Park was fairly left behind,and by the time their first stage was ended,and they were to quit Sir Thomas's carriage,she was able to take leave of the old coachman,and send back proper messages,with cheerful looks.
Of pleasant talk between the brother and sister,there was no end.Everything supplied an amusement to the high glee of William's mind,and he was full of frolic and joke,in the intervals of their higher-toned subjects,all of which ended,if they did not begin,in praise of the Thrush,conjectures how she would be employed,schemes for an action with some superior force,which (supposing the first lieutenant out of the way-and William was not very merciful to the first lieutenant)was to give himself the next step as soon as possible,or speculations upon prize money,which was to be generously distributed at home,with only the reservation of enough to make the little cottage comfortable,in which he and Fanny were to pass all their middle and latter life together.
Fanny's immediate concerns,as far as they involved Mr Crawford,made no part of their conversation.William knew what had passed,and from his heart lamented that his sister's feelings should be so cold towards a man whom he must consider as the first of human characters;but he was of an age to be all for love,and therefore unable to blame;and knowing her wish on the subject,he would not distress her by the slightest allusion.
She had reason to suppose herself not yet forgotten by Mr Crawford.-She had heard repeatedly from his sister within the three weeks which had passed since their leaving Mansfield,and in each letter there had been a few lines from himself,warm and determined like his speeches.It was a correspondence which Fanny found quite as unpleasant as she had feared.Miss Crawford's style of writing,lively and affectionate,was itself an evil,independent of what she was thus forced into reading from the brother's pen,for Edmund would never rest till she had read the chief of the letter to him,and then she had to listen to his admiration of her language,and the warmth of her attachments.-There had,in fact,been so much of message,of allusion,of recollection,so much of Mansfield in every letter,that Fanny could not but suppose it meant for him to hear;and to find herself forced into a purpose of that kind,compelled into a correspondence which was bringing her the addresses of the man she did not love,and obliging her to administer to the adverse passion of the man she did,was cruelly mortifying.Here,too,her present removal promised advantage.When no longer under the same roof with Edmund,she trusted that Miss Crawford would have no motive for writing,strong enough to overcome the trouble,and that at Portsmouth their correspondence would dwindle into nothing.
With such thoughts as these among ten hundred others,Fanny proceeded in her journey,safely and cheerfully,and as expeditiously as could rationally be hoped in the dirty month of February.They entered Oxford,but she could take only a hasty glimpse of Edmund's college as they passed along,and made no stop anywhere,till they reached Newbury,where a comfortable meal,uniting dinner and supper,wound up the enjoyments and fatigues of the day.
The next morning saw them off again at an early hour;and with no events and no delays they regularly advanced,and were in the environs of Portsmouth while there was yet daylight for Fanny to look around her,and wonder at the new buildings.-They passed the drawbridge,and entered the town;and the light was only beginning to fail,as,guided by William's powerful voice,they were rattled into a narrow street,leading from the High Street,and drawn up before the door of a small house now inhabited by Mr Price.
Fanny was all agitation and flutter-all hope and apprehension.The moment they stopped,a trollopy-looking maidservant,seemingly in waiting for them at the door,stepped forward,and more intent on telling the news,than giving them any help,immediately began with,‘The Thrush is gone out of harbour,please Sir,and one of the officers has been here to-’She was interrupted by a fine tall boy of eleven years old,who rushing out of the house,pushed the maid aside,and while William was opening the chaise door himself,called out,‘You are just in time.We have been looking for you this half hour.The Thrush went out of harbour this morning.I saw her.It was a beautiful sight.And they think she will have her orders in a day or two.And Mr Campbell was here at four o'clock,to ask for you;he has got one of the Thrush's boats,and is going off to her at six,and hoped you would be here in time to go with him.’
A stare or two at Fanny,as William helped her out of the carriage,was all the voluntary notice which this brother bestowed;-but he made no objection to her kissing him,though still entirely engaged in detailing farther particulars of the Thrush's going out of harbour,in which he had a strong right of interest,being to commence his career of seamanship in her at this very time.
