To these, suitable music was necessary.It was, however, upon this that Madam de la Popliniere founded her censure; accusing me, with much bitterness, of having composed a funeral anthem.M.de Richelieu very judiciously began by informing himself who was the author of the poetry of this monologue; I presented him the manuscript he had sent me, which proved it was by Voltaire."In that case,"said the duke, "Voltaire alone is to blame." During the rehearsal, everything I had done was disapproved by Madam de la Popliniere, and approved of by M.de Richelieu; but I had afterwards to do with too powerful an adversary.It was signified to me that several parts of my composition wanted revising, and that on this it was necessary Ishould consult M.Rameau; my heart was wounded by such a conclusion, instead of the eulogium I expected, and which certainly I merited, and I returned to my apartment overwhelmed with grief, exhausted with fatigue, and consumed by chagrin.I was immediately taken ill, and confined to my chamber for upwards of six weeks.
Rameau, who was charged with the alterations indicated by Madam de la Popliniere, sent to ask me for the overture of my great opera, to substitute it for that I had just composed.Happily I perceived the trick he intended to play me, and refused him the overture.As the performance was to be in five or six days, he had not time to make one, and was obliged to leave that I had prepared.It was in the Italian taste, and in a style at that time quite new in France.It gave satisfaction, and I learned from M.de Valmalette, maitre d'hotel to the king, and son-in-law to M.Mussard, my relation and friend, that the connoisseurs were highly satisfied with my work, and that the public had not distinguished it from that of Rameau.However, he and Madam de la Popliniere took measures to prevent any person from knowing I had any concern in the matter.In the books distributed to the audience, and in which the authors are always named, Voltaire was the only person mentioned, and Rameau preferred the suppression of his own name to seeing it associated with mine.
As soon as I was in a situation to leave my room, I wished to wait upon M.de Richelieu, but it was too late; he had just set off from Dunkirk, where he was to command the expedition destined to Scotland.At his return, said I to myself, to authorize my idleness, it will be too late for my purpose, not having seen him since that time.I lost the honor of my work and the emoluments it should have produced me, besides considering my time, trouble, grief, and vexation, my illness, and the money this cost me, without ever receiving the least benefit, or, rather, recompense.However, I always thought M.de Richelieu was disposed to serve me, and that he had a favorable opinion of my talents; but my misfortune, and Madam de la Popliniere, prevented the effect of his good wishes.
I could not divine the reason of the aversion this lady had to me.Ihad always endeavored to make myself agreeable to her, and regularly paid her my court.Gauffecourt explained to me the causes of her dislike: "The first," said he, "is her friendship for Rameau, of whom she is the declared panegyrist, and who will not suffer a competitor; the next is an original sin, which ruins you in her estimation, and which she will never forgive; you are a Genevese."Upon this he told me the Abbe Hubert, who was from the same city, and the sincere friend of M.de la Popliniere, had used all his efforts to prevent him from marrying this lady, with whose character and temper he was very well acquainted; and that after the marriage she had vowed him an implacable hatred, as well as all the Genevese.
"Although La Popliniere has a friendship for you, do not," said he, "depend upon his protection: he is still in love with his wife: she hates you, and is vindictive and artful; you will never do anything in that house." All this I took for granted.
The same Gauffecourt rendered me much about this time a service of which I stood in the greatest need.I had just lost my virtuous father, who was about sixty years of age.I felt this loss less severely than I should have done at any other time, when the embarrassments of my situation had less engaged my attention.During his life-time I had never claimed what remained of the property of my mother, and of which he received the little interest.His death removed all my scruples upon this subject.But the want of a legal proof of the death of my brother created a difficulty which Gauffecourt undertook to remove, and this he effected by means of the good offices of the advocate De Lolme.As I stood in need of the little resource, and the event being doubtful, I waited for a definitive account with the greatest anxiety.
One evening on entering my apartment I found a letter, which Iknew to contain the information I wanted, and I took it up with an impatient trembling, of which I was inwardly ashamed.What? said Ito myself, with disdain, shall Jean-Jacques thus suffer himself to be subdued by interest and curiosity? I immediately laid the letter again upon the chimney-piece.I undressed myself, went to bed with great composure, slept better than ordinary, and rose in the morning at a late hour, without thinking more of my letter.As I dressed myself, it caught my eye; I broke the seal very leisurely, and found under the envelope a bill of exchange.I felt a variety of pleasing sensations at the same time: but I can assert, upon my honor, that the most lively of them all was that proceeding from having known how to be master of myself.
I could mention twenty such circumstances in my life, but I am too much pressed for time to say everything.I sent a small part of this money to my poor mamma; regretting, with my eyes suffused with tears, the happy time when I should have laid it all at her feet.
