‘Mr Darcy,you see,is the man!Now,Lizzy,I think I have surprized you.Could he,or the Lucases,have pitched on any man within the circle of our acquaintance,whose name would have given the lie more effectually to what they related?Mr Darcy,who never looks at any woman but to see a blemish,and who probably never looked at you in his life!It is admirable!’
Elizabeth tried to join in her father's pleasantry,but could only force one most reluctant smile.Never had his wit been directed in a manner so little agreeable to her.
‘Are you not diverted?’
‘Oh!yes.Pray read on.’
‘“After mentioning the likelihood of this marriage to her ladyship last night,she immediately,with her usual condescension,expressed what she felt on the occasion;when it became apparent,that on the score of some family objections on the part of my cousin,she would never give her consent to what she termed so disgraceful a match.I thought it my duty to give the speediest intelligence of this to my cousin,that she and her noble admirer may be aware of what they are about,and not run hastily into a marriage which has not been properly sanctioned.”Mr Collins moreover adds,“I am truly rejoiced that my cousin Lydia's sad business has been so well hushed up,and am only concerned that their living together before the marriage took place should be so generally known.I must not,however,neglect the duties of my station,or refrain from declaring my amazement at hearing that you received the young couple into your house as soon as they were married.It was an encouragement of vice;and had I been the rector of Longbourn,I should very strenuously have opposed it.You ought certainly to forgive them as a Christian,but never to admit them in your sight,or allow their names to be mentioned in your hearing.”-That is his notion of Christian forgiveness!The rest of his letter is only about his dear Charlotte's situation,and his expectation of a young olive branch.But,Lizzy,you look as if you did not enjoy it.You are not going to be missish,I hope,and pretend to be affronted at an idle report.For what do we live,but to make sport for our neighbours,and laugh at them in our turn?’
‘Oh!’cried Elizabeth,‘I am excessively diverted.But it is so strange!’
‘Yes-that is what makes it amusing.Had they fixed on any other man it would have been nothing;but his perfect indifference,and your pointed dislike,make it so delightfully absurd!Much as I abominate writing,I would not give up Mr Collins's correspondence for any consideration.Nay,when I read a letter of his,I cannot help giving him the preference even over Wickham,much as I value the impudence and hypocrisy of my son in law.And pray,Lizzy,what said Lady Catherine about this report?Did she call to refuse her consent?’
To this question his daughter replied only with a laugh;and as it had been asked without the least suspicion,she was not distressed by his repeating it.Elizabeth had never been more at a loss to make her feelings appear what they were not.It was necessary to laugh,when she would rather have cried.Her father had most cruelly mortified her,by what he said of Mr Darcy's indifference,and she could do nothing but wonder at such a want of penetration,or fear that perhaps,instead of his seeing too little,she might have fancied too much.
Chapter 58
Instead of receiving any such letter of excuse from his friend,as Elizabeth half expected Mr Bingley to do,he was able to bring Darcy with him to Longbourn before many days had passed after Lady Catherine's visit.The gentlemen arrived early;and before Mrs Bennet had time to tell him of their having seen his aunt,of which her daughter sat in momentary dread,Bingley,who wanted to be alone with Jane,proposed their all walking out.It was agreed to.Mrs Bennet was not in the habit of walking;Mary could never spare time;but the remaining five set off together.Bingley and Jane,however,soon allowed the others to outstrip them.They lagged behind,while Elizabeth,Kitty,and Darcy were to entertain each other.Very little was said by either;Kitty was too much afraid of him to talk;Elizabeth was secretly forming a desperate resolution;and,perhaps,he might be doing the same.
They walked towards the Lucases’,because Kitty wished to call upon Maria;and as Elizabeth saw no occasion for making it a general concern,when Kitty left them she went boldly on with him alone.Now was the moment for her resolution to be executed,and,while her courage was high,she immediately said,
‘Mr Darcy,I am a very selfish creature;and,for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings,care not how much I may be wounding yours.I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister.Ever since I have known it,I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it.Were it known to the rest of my family,I should not have merely my own gratitude to express.’
‘I am sorry,exceedingly sorry,’replied Darcy,in a tone of surprize and emotion,‘that you have ever been informed of what may,in a mistaken light,have given you uneasiness.I did not think Mrs Gardiner was so little to be trusted.’
‘You must not blame my aunt.Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter;and,of course,I could not rest till I knew the particulars.Let me thank you again and again,in the name of all my family,for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble,and bear so many mortifications,for the sake of discovering them.’
‘If you will thank me,’he replied,‘let it be for yourself alone.That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on,I shall not attempt to deny.But your family owe me nothing.Much as I respect them,I believe I thought only of you.’
