These words,which conveyed to Elinor a direct avowal of his love for her sister,affected her very much.She was not immediately able to say anything,and even when her spirits were recovered,she debated for a short time on the answer it would be most proper to give.The real state of things between Willoughby and her sister was so little known to herself,that in endeavouring to explain it,she might be as liable to say too much as too little.Yet as she was convinced that Marianne's affection for Willoughby could leave no hope of Colonel Brandon's success,whatever the event of that affection might be,and at the same time wished to shield her conduct from censure,she thought it most prudent and kind,after some consideration,to say more than she really knew or believed.She acknowledged,therefore,that though she had never been informed by themselves of the terms on which they stood with each other,of their mutual affection she had no doubt,and of their correspondence she was not astonished to hear.
He listened to her with silent attention,and on her ceasing to speak,rose directly from his seat,and after saying in a voice of emotion,‘To your sister I wish all imaginable happiness;to Willoughby,that he may endeavour to deserve her,’-took leave,and went away.
Elinor derived no comfortable feelings from this conversation to lessen the uneasiness of her mind on other points;she was left,on the contrary,with a melancholy impression of Colonel Brandon's unhappiness,and was prevented from even wishing it removed,by her anxiety for the very event that must confirm it.
Chapter 28
Nothing occurred during the next three or four days to make Elinor regret what she had done in applying to her mother;for Willoughby neither came nor wrote.They were engaged about the end of that time to attend Lady Middleton to a party,from which Mrs Jennings was kept away by the indisposition of her youngest daughter;and for this party,Marianne,wholly dispirited,careless of her appearance,and seeming equally indifferent whether she went or stayed,prepared,without one look of hope,or one expression of pleasure.She sat by the drawing-room fire after tea,till the moment of Lady Middleton's arrival,without once stirring from her seat,or altering her attitude,lost in her own thoughts and insensible of her sister's presence:and when at last they were told that Lady Middleton waited for them at the door,she started as if she had forgotten that anyone was expected.
They arrived in due time at the place of destination,and as soon as the string of carriages before them would allow,alighted,ascended the stairs,heard their names announced from one landing-place to another in an audible voice,and entered a room splendidly lit up,quite full of company,and insufferably hot.When they had paid their tribute of politeness by curtseying to the lady of the house,they were permitted to mingle in the crowd,and take their share of the heat and inconvenience,to which their arrival must necessarily add.After some time spent in saying little and doing less,Lady Middleton sat down to casino,and as Marianne was not in spirits for moving about,she and Elinor,luckily succeeding to chairs,placed themselves at no great distance from the table.
They had not remained in this manner long,before Elinor perceived Willoughby,standing within a few yards of them,in earnest conversation with a very fashionable-looking young woman.She soon caught his eye,and he immediately bowed,but without attempting to speak to her,or to approach Marianne,though he could not but see her;and then continued his discourse with the same lady.Elinor turned involuntarily to Marianne,to see whether it could be unobserved by her.At that moment she first perceived him,and her whole countenance glowing with sudden delight,she would have moved towards him instantly,had not her sister caught hold of her.
‘Good heavens!’she exclaimed,‘he is there-he is there.Oh!why does he not look at me?why cannot I speak to him?’
‘Pray,pray be composed,’cried Elinor,‘and do not betray what you feel to everybody present.Perhaps he has not observed you yet.’
This,however,was more than she could believe herself,and to be composed at such a moment was not only beyond the reach of Marianne,it was beyond her wish.She sat in an agony of impatience which affected every feature.
At last he turned round again,and regarded them both;she started up,and pronouncing his name in a tone of affection,held out her hand to him.He approached,and addressing himself rather to Elinor than Marianne,as if wishing to avoid her eye,and determined not to observe her attitude,inquired in a hurried manner after Mrs Dashwood,and asked how long they had been in town.Elinor was robbed of all presence of mind by such an address,and was unable to say a word.But the feelings of her sister were instantly expressed.Her face crimsoned over,and she exclaimed in a voice of the greatest emotion,‘Good God!Willoughby,what is the meaning of this?Have you not received my letters?Will you not shake hands with me?’
He could not then avoid it,but her touch seemed painful to him,and he held her hand only for a moment.During all this time he was evidently struggling for composure.Elinor watched his countenance,and saw its expression becoming more tranquil.After a moment's pause,he spoke with calmness.
‘I did myself the honour of calling in Berkeley Street last Tuesday,and very much regretted that I was not fortunate enough to find yourselves and Mrs Jennings at home.My card was not lost,I hope.’
‘But have you not received my notes?’cried Marianne in the wildest anxiety.‘Here is some mistake,I am sure-some dreadful mistake.What can be the meaning of it?Tell me,Willoughby-for heaven's sake tell me,what is the matter?’
