‘You cannot think I mean to hurry you,’said he,in an under voice,perceiving the amazing trepidation with which she made up the note;‘you cannot think I have any such object.Do not hurry yourself,I entreat.’
‘Oh!I thank you,I have quite done,just done-it will be ready in a moment-I am very much obliged to you-if you will be so good as to give that to Miss Crawford.’
The note was held out and must be taken;and as she instantly and with averted eyes walked towards the fireplace,where sat the others,he had nothing to do but to go in good earnest.
Fanny thought she had never known a day of greater agitation,both of pain and pleasure;but happily the pleasure was not of a sort to die with the day-for every day would restore the knowledge of William's advancement,whereas the pain she hoped would return no more.She had no doubt that her note must appear excessively ill-written,that the language would disgrace a child,for her distress had allowed no arrangement;but at least it would assure them both of her being neither imposed on,nor gratified by Mr Crawford's attentions.
Chapter 32
Fanny had by no means forgotten Mr Crawford,when she awoke the next morning;but she remembered the purport of her note,and was not less sanguine,as to its effect,than she had been the night before.If Mr Crawford would but go away!-That was what she most earnestly desired;-go and take his sister with him,as he was to do,and as he returned to Mansfield on purpose to do.And why it was not done already,she could not devise,for Miss Crawford certainly wanted no delay.-Fanny had hoped,in the course of his yesterday's visit,to hear the day named;but he had only spoken of their journey as what would take place ere long.
Having so satisfactorily settled the conviction her note would convey,she could not but be astonished to see Mr Crawford,as she accidentally did,coming up to the house again,and at an hour as early as the day before.-His coming might have nothing to do with her,but she must avoid seeing him if possible;and being then on her way upstairs,she resolved there to remain,during the whole of his visit,unless actually sent for;and as Mrs Norris was still in the house,there seemed little danger of her being wanted.
She sat some time in a good deal of agitation,listening,trembling,and fearing to be sent for every moment;but as no footsteps approached the east room,she grew gradually composed,could sit down,and be able to employ herself,and able to hope that Mr Crawford had come,and would go without her being obliged to know anything of the matter.
Nearly half an hour had passed,and she was growing very comfortable,when suddenly the sound of a step in regular approach was heard-a heavy step,an unusual step in that part of the house;it was her uncle's;she knew it as well as his voice;she had trembled at it as often,and began to tremble again,at the idea of his coming up to speak to her,whatever might be the subject.-It was indeed Sir Thomas,who opened the door,and asked if she were there,and if he might come in.The terror of his former occasional visits to that room seemed all renewed,and she felt as if he were going to examine her again in French and English.
She was all attention,however,in placing a chair for him,and trying to appear honoured;and in her agitation,had quite overlooked the deficiencies of her apartment,till he,stopping short as he entered,said,with much surprise,‘Why have you no fire today?’
There was snow on the ground,and she was sitting in a shawl.She hesitated.
‘I am not cold,Sir-I never sit here long at this time of year.’
‘But,-you have a fire in general?’
‘No,Sir.’
‘How comes this about;here must be some mistake.I understood that you had the use of this room by way of making you perfectly comfortable.-In your bedchamber I know you cannot have a fire.Here is some great misapprehension -which must be rectified.It is highly unfit for you to sit-be it only half an hour a day,without a fire.You are not strong.You are chilly.Your aunt cannot be aware of this.’
Fanny would rather have been silent,but being obliged to speak,she could not forbear,in justice to the aunt she loved best,from saying something in which the words ‘my aunt Norris’were distinguishable.
‘I understand,’cried her uncle recollecting himself,and not wanting to hear more-‘I understand.Your aunt Norris has always been an advocate,and very judiciously,for young people's being brought up without unnecessary indulgences;but there should be moderation in everything.-She is also very hardy herself,which of course will influence her in her opinion of the wants of others.And on another account too,I can perfectly comprehend.-I know what her sentiments have always been.The principle was good in itself,but it may have been,and I believe has been carried too far in your case.-I am aware that there has been sometimes,in some points,a misplaced distinction;but I think too well of you,Fanny,to suppose you will ever harbour resentment on that account.-You have an understanding,which will prevent you from receiving things only in part,and judging partially by the event.-You will take in the whole of the past,you will consider times,persons,and probabilities,and you will feel that they were not least your friends who were educating and preparing you for that mediocrity of condition which seemed to be your lot.-Though their caution may prove eventually unnecessary,it was kindly meant;and of this you may be assured,that every advantage of affluence will be doubled by the little privations and restrictions that may have been imposed.I am sure you will not disappoint my opinion of you,by failing at any time to treat your aunt Norris with the respect and attention that are due to her.-But enough of this.Sit down,my dear.I must speak to you for a few minutes,but I will not detain you long.’
Fanny obeyed,with eyes cast down and colour rising.-After a moment's pause,Sir Thomas,trying to suppress a smile,went on.
