Fanny's disgust at the greater part of this letter,with her extreme reluctance to bring the writer of it and her cousin Edmund together,would have made her (as she felt)incapable of judging impartially whether the concluding offer might be accepted or not.To herself,individually,it was most tempting.To be finding herself,perhaps,within three days,transported to Mansfield,was an image of the greatest felicity-but it would have been a material drawback,to be owing such felicity to persons in whose feelings and conduct,at the present moment,she saw so much to condemn;the sister's feelings-the brother's conduct-her cold-hearted ambition-his thoughtless vanity.
To have him still the acquaintance,the flirt,perhaps,of Mrs Rushworth!She was mortified.She had thought better of him.Happily,however,she was not left to weigh and decide between opposite inclinations and doubtful notions of right;there was no occasion to determine,whether she ought to keep Edmund and Mary asunder or not.She had a rule to apply to,which settled everything.Her awe of her uncle,and her dread of taking a liberty with him,made it instantly plain to her,what she had to do.She must absolutely decline the proposal.If he wanted,he would send for her;and even to offer an early return,was a presumption which hardly anything would have seemed to justify.She thanked Miss Crawford,but gave a decided negative.-‘Her uncle,she understood,meant to fetch her;and as her cousin's illness had continued so many weeks without her being thought at all necessary,she must suppose her return would be unwelcome at present,and that she should be felt an encumbrance.’
Her representation of her cousin's state at this time,was exactly according to her own belief of it,and such as she supposed would convey to the sanguine mind of her correspondent,the hope of everything she was wishing for.Edmund would be forgiven for being a clergyman,it seemed,under certain conditions of wealth;and this,she suspected,was all the conquest of prejudice,which he was so ready to congratulate himself upon.She had only learnt to think nothing of consequence but money.
Chapter 46
As Fanny could not doubt that her answer was conveying a real disappointment,she was rather in expectation,from her knowledge of Miss Crawford's temper,of being urged again;and though no second letter arrived for the space of a week,she had still the same feeling when it did come.
On receiving it,she could instantly decide on its containing little writing,and was persuaded of its having the air of a letter of haste and business.Its object was unquestionable;and two moments were enough to start the probability of its being merely to give her notice that they should be in Portsmouth that very day,and to throw her into all the agitation of doubting what she ought to do in such a case.If two moments,however,can surround with difficulties,a third can disperse them;and before she had opened the letter,the possibility of Mr and Miss Crawford's having applied to her uncle and obtained his permission,was giving her ease.This was the letter.
A most scandalous,ill-natured rumour has just reached me,and I write,dear Fanny,to warn you against giving the least credit to it,should it spread into the country.Depend upon it there is some mistake,and that a day or two will clear it up-at any rate,that Henry is blameless,and in spite of a moment's etourderie thinks of nobody but you.Say not a word of it-hear nothing,surmise nothing,whisper nothing,till I write again.I am sure it will be all hushed up,and nothing proved but Rushworth's folly.If they are gone,I would lay my life they are only gone to Mansfield Park,and Julia with them.But why would not you let me come for you?I wish you may not repent it.
Yours,etc.
Fanny stood aghast.As no scandalous,ill-natured rumour had reached her,it was impossible for her to understand much of this strange letter.She could only perceive that it must relate to Wimpole Street and Mr Crawford,and only conjecture that something very imprudent had just occurred in that quarter to draw the notice of the world,and to excite her jealousy,in Miss Crawford's apprehension,if she heard it.Miss Crawford need not be alarmed for her.She was only sorry for the parties concerned and for Mansfield,if the report should spread so far;but she hoped it might not.If the Rushworths were gone themselves to Mansfield,as was to be inferred from what Miss Crawford said,it was not likely that any thing unpleasant should have preceded them,or at least should make any impression.
As to Mr Crawford,she hoped it might give him a knowledge of his own disposition,convince him that he was not capable of being steadily attached to any one woman in the world,and shame him from persisting any longer in addressing herself.
It was very strange!She had begun to think he really loved her,and to fancy his affection for her something more than common-and his sister still said that he cared for nobody else.Yet there must have been some marked display of attentions to her cousin,there must have been some strong indiscretion,since her correspondent was not of a sort to regard a slight one.
Very uncomfortable she was and must continue till she heard from Miss Crawford again.It was impossible to banish the letter from her thoughts,and she could not relieve herself by speaking of it to any human being.Miss Crawford need not have urged secrecy with so much warmth,she might have trusted to her sense of what was due to her cousin.
The next day came and brought no second letter.Fanny was disappointed.She could still think of little else all the morning;but when her father came back in the afternoon with the daily newspaper as usual,she was so far from expecting any elucidation through such a channel,that the subject was for a moment out of her head.
