Lord Hyndford and Count Bernes both adjudged them legally mine, and well am I assured her heart had bequeathed me much more.
To this event succeeded another, by which my fortune was greatly influenced. The Countess of Bestuchef was then the most amiable and witty woman at Court. Her husband, cunning, selfish, and shallow, had the name of minister, while she, in reality, governed with a genius, at once daring and comprehensive. The too pliant Elizabeth carelessly left the most important things to the direction of others. Thus the Countess was the first person of the Empire, and on whom the attention of the foreign ministers was fixed.
Haughty and majestic in her demeanour, she was supposed to be the only woman at court who continued faithful to her husband; which supposition probably originated in her art and education, she being a German born: for I afterwards found her virtue was only pride, and a knowledge of the national character. The Russian lover rules despotic over his mistress: requires money, submission, and should he meet opposition, threatens her with blows, and the discovery of her secret.
During Elizabeth's reign foreigners could neither appear at court, nor in the best company, without the introduction of Bestuchef. Iand Sievers, gentlemen of the chamber, were at that time the only Germans who had free egress and regress in all houses of fashion; my being protected by the English and Austrian ambassadors gave me very peculiar advantages, and made my company everywhere courted.
Bestuchef had been resident, during the late reign, at Hamburg, in which inferior station he married the countess, at that time, though young and handsome, only the widow of the merchant Boettger. Under Elizabeth, Bestuchef rose to the summit of rank and power, and the widow Boettger became the first lady of the empire. When I knew her she was eight and thirty, consequently no beauty, though a woman highly endowed in mind and manners, of keen discernment, disliking the Russians, protecting the Prussians, and at whose aversions all trembled.
Her carriage towards the Russians was, what it must be in her situation, lofty, cautious, and ironical, rather than kind. To me she showed the utmost esteem on all occasions, welcomed me at her table, and often admitted me to drink coffee in company with herself alone and Colonel Oettinger. The countess never failed giving me to understand she had perceived my love for the princess N-; and, though I constantly denied the fact, she related circumstances which she could have known, as I thought, only from my mistress herself;my silence pleased her; for the Russians, when a lady had a partiality for them, never fail to vaunt of their good fortune. She wished to persuade me she had observed us in company, had read the language of our eyes, and had long penetrated our secret. I was ignorant at that time that she had then, and long before, entertained the maid of my mistress as a spy in her pay.
About a week after the death of the princess, the countess invited me to take coffee with her, in her chamber; lamented my loss, and the violence of that passion which had deprived me of all my customary vivacity, and altered my very appearance. She seemed so interested in my behalf, and expressed so many wishes, and so ardent to better my fate, that I could no longer doubt. Another opportunity soon happened, which confirmed these my suspicions: her mouth confessed her sentiments. Discretion, secrecy, and fidelity, were the laws she imposed, and never did I experience a more ardent passion from woman. Such was her understanding and penetration, she knew how to rivet my affections.
Caution was the thing most necessary. She contrived, however, to make opportunity. The chancellor valued, confided in me, and employed me in his cabinet; so that I remained whole days in his house. My captainship of cavalry was now no longer thought of: Iwas destined to political employment. My first was to be gentleman of the chamber, which in Russia is an office of importance, and the prospect of futurity became to me most resplendent. Lord Hyndford, ever the repository of my secrets, counselled me, formed plans for my conduct, rejoiced at my success, and refused to be reimbursed the expense he had been at, though now my circumstances were prosperous.
The degree of credit I enjoyed was soon noticed: foreign ministers began to pay their court to me: Goltz, the Prussian minister, made every effort to win me, but found me incorruptible.
The Russian alliance was at this time highly courted by foreign powers; the humbling of Prussia was the thing generally wished and planned: and nobody was better informed than myself of ministerial and family factions at this court.
My mistress, a year after my acquaintance with her, fell into her enemies' power, and with her husband, was delivered over to the executioner. Chancellor Bestuchef, in the year 1756, was forced to confession by the knout. Apraxin, minister of war, had a similar fate. The wife of his brother, then envoy in Poland, was, by the treachery of a certain Lieutenant Berger, with three others of the first ladies of the court, knouted, branded, and had their tongues cut out. This happened in the year 1741, when Elizabeth ascended the throne. Her husband, however, faithfully served: I knew him as Russian envoy, at Vienna, 1751. This may indeed be called the love of our country, and thus does it happen to the first men of the state: what then can a foreigner hope for, if persecuted, and in the power of those in authority?
